4 year old bedtime troubles.?

Question

I have a routine for my 4 year old daughter. It is put on pajamas, brush teeth, read book, turn out lights, back rub/snuggle, then mom leaves and go to sleep. This routine keeps taking longer and longer and longer. She goes reeeeeaaaaaallllly slooooooooooow doing everything. I have tried starting the routine earlier, I have tried encouraging her to go faster, I have tried taking away reading the book if she goes too slow (I tell her we ran out of time to read the book), nothing works. Also, when I go to leave her room she cries that she wants to sleep with her older sister (11 years old) or that she's scared of her closet. She gets SO emotional at bedtime. I dread bedtime everyday. I've decided it's time to figure something out to make this work. I have thought about time outs which is her normal punishment and she hates them but won't that just make bedtime even longer?

Any advice is appreciated and I hope everyone has a great day.

Answer 1

simple tell her for every extra minute she takes to put on pj's or brush teeth tell her that she wont have her story. and stick to it. for every extra mins she spends doing the necessary things then tell her she'll lose her back rub you need to stick to your guns. she will get cranky but it worked for me

Answer 2

Hi, I am a mom of a 4 year old and believe me I understand the slow motion thing it can be very frustrating when you are on a schedule that must be kept.  I am also a preschool teacher and daycare provider.

I first want to say that 4 yr olds  do not know the difference between 1 minute and 1 hour.  So time being lost is not something she can conceive at bedtime. She cannot feel your pain there and it isn't personal toward you.  She is doing what 4 year olds do.  She wants to be with someone she loves all the time. But she is old enough to sleep alone.

I agree that withdraw of priveleges through your bedtime process does work for me but I only withdraw it if the child has been warned first.

But first I would suggest you make a game of it because working in the positive is a good start and the point is for everyone to get to bed on time and connect before bedrime right?

One strategy that has worked for me is setting an oven timer on the sink and challenging her to beat it.  I mean the kind you can see turning.  Or maybe an hour glass from a board game. A digital clock does not work because as far as they are concerned it isn't turning or moving.  Hopefully this will speed things up.

As far as you leaving the room when your routine is done just be sure that you have connected with her that day and evening that she feels your time with her is bonding and that you want to be with her not just the prelude to her loosing you till the next morning.

Of course as a preschool teacher I don't leave the room while the children fall asleep but I do not engage in talking or rub their backs anymore but I do stay in the room.  I suggest easing your way out of the room after she falls asleep and sitting away from her with a book or something.  Remember no engaging in talking, she will ask questions to bate you into conversation to stay awake.  Hopefully after a while of this she will see no benefit in you staying in the room. after your routine is complete.

Children can be very challenging.  But enjoy this time.  Age 4 is a wonderful year and a time in life children remember with great fondness.

Answer 3

stick to the routine and a set amount of time lets say a half hour to brush teeth get pjs on and sit and read and snuggle. get a timer that shows how much time is left and explain to her the purpose of the timer. when the timer dings an d she's not ready for snuggles and a book lay he rin her bed give a kiss tell her goodnight and leave. if she cries let her cry she will figure out that she cant be taking so much time at bed time. if she comes out of her room just direct her back in say good night and leave its going to be difficult but consistancy works . she may scream for water or something else but dont give in she had plenty of time before to get a drink or what ever and now its sleep time.

good luck

Answer 4

mmm patience, patience kids like to test the limits, some times when I think I can take it any more..I remind my self that they won't be that age ever again and in the future and I will miss the back rub/snuggle,...don't know if my answer will help you out...but does help me out to keep my cool! haha good luck!