4 year old will not attend school?

Question

my 4 year old son started pre-school in sept/2006. the first three months were great, no complaints. As of dec/01/2006 he refuses to go back to school. He has missed about 6 or 7 days in december. he is a very bright kid, who I think is about 1 or 2 years ahead in learning. there has been no bullying a school according to his teacher. he is a very good talker but says he is too shy to attend school. any answers on how i can help him back on track. This is really affecting me and I need some answers.thank you

Answer 1

Go in and observe a full day and look for these things: (that define a good preschool)..

http://math-and-reading-help-for-kids.or...

Answer 2

Well.. your child necessarily doesnt have to go to preschool especially if they are ahead in learning. You could wait until he is 5 and just put him into kindergarten! Otherwise, your the parent you have to get him into the habit.

Answer 3

force him to go to school

Answer 4

I had the same problem when my son was that age (now 7).  The best thing to do is put your foot down and just tell him that he has to go.  If you let him get his way now it will only be worse later on.  Teachers are trained to deal with these situations and you just have to let him cry it out.  I did and now my son loves going to school and is now in grade 2.

Answer 5

Sometimes young children go through these phases. Just like adults, we have our good days and bad ones. If he is advanced for his age the teacher should be providing him with more advance activities. If not he will get bored. My suggestion would be to check the classroom lesson plan and his overall development plan. The activities should be at his level and above. I have been a preschool teacher for 7 years now. I have seen many different developmental stages in children the same age. It is a great idea for him to go to preschool. This builds a great foundation for learning and social skills needed for school years. There does not have to be actually wrong going on at the center for him not to want to go. I would check it out as suggested in the other answers. Is the teacher experienced? It could be them also. A teacher should never tell a parent their child is to shy to go to pre-school. The only concern I have about this is, if the teacher is showing you, the parent negativity, what is she showing your son?? Children at this age are still developing in social/emotional skills. Even though he is shy does not mean he is not learning.Maybe speak to the director and place him in another classroom. Especially talk to the director concerning the teacher. It could be that he is feeling insecure. Children at this age need lots of encouragement. You can try buying him things to make him go, but you are working agaisn't yourself. After long he will expect something everytime he does something.Maybe afterschool go to the park or somewhere he likes to go. This will give you time to build on your relationship with each other.Encourage him to go to school and let him know that you will be there to pick him up after school. Another stratergy would be to volunteer a little each day. Make it less and less time each day you spend. Maybe have your spouse take him, grandparent, or maybe a friend. I have seen this work many times.

Answer 6

try incourging him like if he did go to school tell his aunt or uncle how great he is for going to school and how proud you are and it'd be great if they said they were proud too and took him out for ice cream of soemthing becasue he's such a good boy.

and promise him to buy him something he really really wants by the end of the year or semester if he was a good boy and his teacher was pleased with him.

my sis promised her 4 year old a playstaion 2 and now he tries to do his best.

but he has to understand that you're not bribing him to go, and that its something all parents do for their smart and good boys who make their parents proud of them.

Answer 7

I have had some bad experiences with my son's preschools so do not assume everything is fine.  Check on line in your state's Department of Health and Human Services to see if you can access records about complaints that have been filed against the center.  Regardless of what you find in the background, take your child to preschool and spend a half day or so with him so you can observe and find some answers.  Hope this is helpful!

Answer 8

What do you mean, your 4 yr. old won't go to school?  Aren't you the parent?

Answer 9

Make him go back, But during the day make a surprise visit, Park your car around the corner so they don't see you coming and check to see what's going on.. He has no choice about going to school unless you plan on home schooling him.

Answer 10

Maybe there is a bully or maybe he likes a pretty little girl it possible you know, if he dont like that school anymore just look for another daycare.

Answer 11

Honestly, don't worry about it too much. If you make school a big deal/fuss now, you'll have a lot of psychological issues to deal with later.

I have a 6 year old son, now in grade 1. He NEVER went to preschool (he's the youngest - and last - of three sons, and I was selfishly keeping him home).

He adjusted just fine in kindergarten, and now, in grade 1, he's exceeding expectations in all areas, especially academics. His teacher expects that when he takes the giftedness testing, he'll score higher than his 8 year old brother (who scored in the 99th percentile for most academic areas).

Relax. Maybe your son just wants to spend time with you!! You should be flattered

Answer 12

You are the boss mom!                                                                Did he say why he is shy to go to pre-school?

Just keep on encouriging him to go to school.

Its normale.  My 3 kids use to be the same way at that age.

Answer 13

Not every four year old is truly ready for a structured pre-school, even if he is very bright.  There is so much more to consider.  Also, not every teacher is in-tune to what is going on between the children (she would never admit it).  Trust me when I say that, when he is older, it will not matter whether he went to pre-school, and it will not matter if he starts kindergarten when he is five or six. Parents have become too worried about what someone else will think, or compare their child to another.  Studies have been showing time and time again that children are being pushed too early to succeed academically.  

You are the only one who can decide what is best for your child.  You know him better than anyone.  I hope that you will talk with him and make your decisions based on him and not what everyone else thinks.  As someone said earlier, you are the parent (although, I don't think that person meant it the same way I do).  Good luck!

FYI: My son is now 13. He wasn't ready for kindergarten until he was six (he has an August b-day).  Then, after first grade, he was able to skip 2nd grade because his maturity level finally caught up with his academic level.

Answer 14

Sounds like your child may want you to go to school with him.  My son did something similiar to us this year.  He kept telling his teachers that he was sick, so they would have to call home.  He's about your son's age.  We sat him down and explained that he needed school.  He also has the issue of being "bored" because he is ahead of the rest of the students.  I found out that his school offered an accelerated reading program where they take him out of class for about 15-30 minutes a day with a few other gifted students, and now he loves going to school again.