4 years old adhd?

Question

I have a 4 year old son with severe adhd. He is on medication and see's a therapist twice a month. His rage has gone down alot with the medication. (hitting, spitting, throwing) but he still has no impulse control. He will get a time out in the naughty spot (a rug on the floor) but will do the same thing 5 min after the time out is over. His doctor said that he has the impulse control of an 18 month old and that is due to the fact that the part of the brain that controls impulses develops slower in children with adhd. She said to just "keep doing what your doing" does anyone have this situation with there children? What about some tips for me so I don't pull my hair out. Please don't say that 4 is to young for medication he is much happier when he is on it. Which in turn makes his preschool classroom and family happy.

Answer 1

It does get better, eventually. Do the best you can to get him on a very regular schedule and regular meals - maybe even regular snacks.

Lots of outdoor time helps- put him in a harness if you have to and go for walks. The sunlight and the exercise are mood improvers.

My niece was helped by ballet and other dance classes - the repetitive practice sessions and the need to focus. He might prefer marital arts. . judo for one, is a sport where you will get dumped on the mat if you lose control.

Answer 2

I was of the understanding from my doctor that  children can not be accurately diagnosed with adhd much before the age of six because the guidelines used are not structured for children below that age.

You may want to get a second opinion. It may not be adhd.

Answer 3

Check his diet first- it really makes a difference. Try a gluten free/casein free diet. Safer than meds although you can keep him on meds and do the diet too. This could even have a BETTER effect than the medicine. I swear, my son (who recently turned 5) is a completely different kid since removing all gluten and dairy from his diet- he had similar issues, very angry & no impulse control, was violent towards others. He was also very emotional and had sensory issues- would be out of control in a busy environment (daycare) without the ability to calm himself down, couldn't stand loud noises to the point where he would hide in a corner of the room to try to tune them out, would literally punch someone & scream if they touched his hair because he didn't like it. He was an angry, volatile, emotional & mental wreck. Now he's so much happier and in turn- so am I. If someone touches his hair now he'll actually say "Please don't touch my hair, it makes me feel itchy." That's a major improvement from just a few months ago. It may not have such a drastic effect on your son but it's definitely worth a shot! Google gluten free/casein free diets and you'll find a lot of info. Also, a lot of kids with adhd are found to be magnesium deficient. Try this stuff, you can buy it at any health food store or online... http://vitanetonline.com/description/VY0...

In the meantime, if you're at your wits end, send him to his room so you can cry or just have a minute of quiet if you have to. Then deal with him after you've calmed down. Sometimes it really helps to just take a quick breather. I'd stick with using the naughty chair, that's what we do too. Hang in there, I know how tough it is, I've been there! =]

EDIT: And for the love of God, don't listen to anyone who tells you it's your fault because of your parenting. It's true that crappy parents can create spoiled brats but there is a difference between a spoiled brat and a kid with special needs. I have similar issues with my kid and I have a degree in child development and was a preschool teacher for 8 years! And OMG, the person who said you need to scare the demons out of him... I actually laughed out loud. Looks like they let the crazies play on YA! today. ;)

Answer 4

I understand completely.  Let me explain my perspective.  I have a 5 year old daughter with similar issues (she has a twin sister without these issues).  I am also an elementary school teacher so I have seen more than my share of students with ADD and ADHD. I also suffer from ADHD.  My husband will not get agree to have her tested (he doesn't want her labeled) and doesn't believe that she has ADHD.  He is an expert in neurology medications.  So, he thinks 4 years old is too young for the diagnosis as well.  

Now, all of that said, I understand your frustration.  I believe you and I think that you are probably right about the ADHD.  You and I can sit down in a room full of children and pick out the ones that have ADHD.  It is as simple as can be once we determine look at the basic signs.

Yes, you are doing the right things.  You do have to keep redirecting and time outing over and over again.  It is the same with my daughter.   The not remembering 5 minutes later, it part of the ADHD. I can leave to go the grocery store.  When I get there and begin shopping, I inevitably leave the store with lots of other things but forget one of the main reasons I went.  

I had 27 students in my 5th grade class this year.  I had 5 students with ADD or ADHD.  Only one parent told me about it before I was able to pinpoint it through observation and interaction.  At each conference with those 5 parents, I explained that they should only be on meds if they feel that it helps them.  

No child likes to get scolded all the time.  No one wants to be treated bad by other kids because they don't fit in.  No child should be denied medication if it will help him or her to be a better student and/or friend.  Kids are cruel to one another, and most ADHD kids are not popular.  

Oh, and one more thing.  To the person that said it was parenting....   as I mentioned at the beginning of this, I have twins.  They are raised with the same rules and environment.  Don't blame the parents because a child has a medical diagnosis for the issue.  Honestly, before I became a parent, I thought that too.  Now, I know that some kids are just wired that way.

Can I give you a suggestion?  I would use a sticker chart to help with rewards.  Keep it very simple.  If he follows the direction he is given without an outburst (give one sticker).  Just catch him being good and "having his listening ears on" and reward him with a sticker.  Hang a plain old piece of paper up on the wall with his name on it to put stickers on.  He will be so excited that he will keep trying.  

Ok, end of my tirade!   God's best to you!!!

Answer 5

I feel very sorry for your son. 4 years IS too young to be diagnosed with adhd. He is getting this behavior from somewhere, look at yourself and other immediate family members. Check your reactions to him and the amount of attention (and kind) that he gets. I advise you to take him to another doctor as well as a family therapist so you can work through these problems. By the way, even an 18 month old can follow rules and have good behavior with good parenting.

Answer 6

You need to take him to a Pastor who is willing to drive the demons out of him.  This is a very serious matter.  There are so many people who are "out of control" no matter what age, and they do things like this, and doctors say from a worldly standpoint "oh this is ADHD" or "this is epilepsy" etc. etc. and they are always prescribed with some sort of medicine ...... Take your son to someone (Christian) who is willing to drive out the demons that are possessing him... Please get your son delivered from this as soon as possible.  And I would say that if you don't know Jesus Christ, accept Him, for He is indeed the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and He will deliver your son.  Praise Him for His faithfulness; He has never changed.  After your son is delivered take him to church and teach him about the Lord, and read the Bible daily.

Answer 7

I was actually gonna say basically what Heather had said with switching parts of his diet.

Try not to get angry with him.  Your patience will be tested everyday with a child with ADHD.  He doesn't know any better.  From the sounds of it you are giving him the right direction.  Rewarding for good behavior and time outs for negative behavior.  ADHD children require a lot more attention and discipline.  Take a deep breath prior to having to discipline him.  It's great that you have a regular time out location as well.  This well help him feel structured.  Once he is off the time out remind him why he was sitting there in the first place.  Children with ADHD will tend to forget what landed them there.  That is why you will see the same exact behavior several minutes later.  Also he is getting to the age where he is going to test the c**p out of you.  When your frustrations get high you need to find a coping method to bring them down.  Does taking a 5 minute time out yourself work?  Calling a friend to vent?  From the sounds of it you are doing a great job and I commend you for it.  Great job mommy.