4 yr old daughter telling me what to wear and where to go...?

Question

My daughter is almost 4. She tells me what to wear (including shoes) and if I don't wear what she likes then she cries so hard. I have to go through this every morning. and when I drive she tells me where to go, turn right turn left, and if I don't listen to her then she cries again. I try to explain why I have to go this way but doesn't help and she still does that every day.

What should I do?

Answer 1

I think you need to explain and enforce the fact that YOU are the parent and SHE is the child.  You are the one who should be driving the bus!  And if she gets upset; oh well, she'll just have to get glad in the same pants she got mad in!

In other words, stand up for yourself and act like a parent and quit letting a child boss you around and living in fear of upsetting the poor little princess........

Answer 2

i think you've done it to yourself your letting her control you show her your the boss let her cry she'll get over it. Because then when she starts school she'll be telling all the kids what to do.

Answer 3

ok well ya ur the parent an shes the child u need to let her cry an show her whos the boss an if need to be show here disciplane

Answer 4

you should sit her down and tell her that everything will not work out the way she likes. tell her that you will set one day a week (a day where you are not busy) and you will do WHATEVER she wants. wear whatever clothes and go where ever she wants you to go. i guess put your foot down.

good luckk

and i hope i helped some.

Answer 5

She's probably just imitating Mommy - after all, don't you get to tell her what to wear and where to go?  She probably doesn't understand the dynamic between parent and child - who gets to tell whom what to do.  Explain to her that because you are the Mommy, you know what to do and she is not allowed to tell you what to do.  Tell her that when she is a Mommy, she can pick out clothes for her daughter and the like.

Answer 6

You're the parent, she's the child. She should NOT be controlling you, you should be controlling her. YOU need to be the parent and take control. If she is going to cry and scream about it let her. Tell her that she cannot tell you what to do because you are the mom. Try picking out 2 different outfits that you won't mind wearing that day and asking her which one she thinks is nicer. That way she doesn't have total control but she is helping you pick it out.

Answer 7

you are the parents she is the child. let her cry she will get over it. if you let her tell you what to do now it will get much worse

Answer 8

Yikes. I'm sorry but I would let my child cry. If she continues to be bossy, she is going to keep throwing tantrums to get what she wants, and as she gets older they will escalate from just crying. I'm afraid that not everyone in life will be as willing to give her what she wants when she wants and she needs to learn that sooner rather than later.

You need to take back the control as the parent. It's going to be difficult for the first little while, but just stay strong. Understand it is tough love.  

Good luck!!

Answer 9

Yeah...I agree with the above statement. Sounds like you aren't a spanker. She is 3 years old, for goodness sakes. Take control.

Answer 10

It sounds like you've tried to explain, but talking it out isn't always the best way w/ 4 yr olds!  You need to firmly tell her that you are the adult and you will decide what to wear and how to drive.  Let her know when she's a grown up, she too can make her own decisions.  If you're at home and she starts to cry, tell her she can go to her room to cry and when she feels better she may come out.  This works w/ my 4 year old daughter every time.  Once she loses her audience, she gets it out of her system very quickly!  If you're in the car, give her a minute and then tell her you've heard enough.  Let her know if she continues, there will be consequences and follow through.   I don't mean spanking, but taking away something she likes maybe.  I know some might say she needs to express her emotions, but she's playing you because it's worked in the past.

Answer 11

It probably started out cute, but somewhere along the way she got the idea that you would do what she says.  You are mom, you set the rules and make the decisions.  Try to explain nicely the situation to her, but ultimately she'll probably throw a few fits until she understands she doesn't make the choices right now.  Tell her that she can make some of the decisions for herself right now, maybe that would help.  It gives them a sense of security and individuality.  Like letting her pick out her own clothes each day.  Yes, they may not always match, but maybe it would take the focus off of telling you what to do.

Answer 12

"Daughter, I know that you want to pick out Mommy's clothes today, but Mommy likes to pick her own clothes. You can pick your clothes, and we both wear what we like."

If she cries, tell her "I know you like to pick out Mommy's clothes, but you can't. Mommy needs to do it herself."

If she continues to cry, put her in time out, and then get her dressed and leave without another comment about clothes.

When she is in the car and wants you to turn, ignore her. Completely. Yoiu may want to turn the radio on or let her look at a book so she is occupied. If she goes to school, talk to her teacher, and tell her that your daughter wants to pick your route, and you may be late the next day. If you are late, have the teacher make your child sit out of whatever activity the rest of the children were doing at the time you showed up because she wasn't there to hear the directions/be there at the start/ have a group to play with/ etc. If she sees that she is consistently missing out on the fun by being bossy, she will tend to listen to you.