4 yr old very active at home doesnt open her mouth at play school or infront of strangers?

Question

she comes home and sings what they taught in school but in scholl she keeps quiet. She plays dumb in front of strangers , keeps her head down.likes to play alone. any idea how to make her behave normally

Answer 1

Sounds like my daughter.  For some kids it is normal to be a little shy.  You have to realize that normal is relative.  There is a concept in language learning called the silent period.  (Does she speak more than one language at home?) Sometimes kids just need a little time (usually a few months) to get used to the new people and new routine.   I tutored a child who was 8 years old who refused to talk in class but she slowly began to talk to a few people and gradually began talking to everyone and then you couldn't shut her up.  Long as she isn't pushed she should transition fairly well on her own.  And she is normal.

Answer 2

try to find something she likes to do at home and see if some other kids like it and get them to talk about it and have a sharing day if she has a pet let her bring it to school

Answer 3

I hope that you have read all these other answers.

Here is my take - your child is fine and normal as so many have said.  I suggest telling her about her behaviour -

NOT that she is SHY,

but that she is in the early stages of learning how to be a friend.  

"Shy" has negative connotations, whereas learning to be friendly is much more encouraging.  Keep up[ the good owrk of being a parent.  the more you pay attention, the more successful the child.

Answer 4

Yes your child is normal.  Maybe just alittle shy.  I wouldnt call her dumb.  She will come out of it.

Answer 5

Shyness is a normal behavior but, it can be a blockage from meeting friends, getting involved in activities, etc. Most likely, she feels comfy being herself at home. Maybe, she's afraid of certain people and doesn't trust others easily. Anyone can break out of their shell-it can take some time. Just encourage her to be around kids, join a club/activity/girl scouts/church functions.

Answer 6

Honey, I have worked in a school for twenty two years and she sounds normal to me. Children act different at school than at home. My daughter's kindergarten teacher told me she was so good at school. I told her she must send the wrong child home. ha She'll out grow the shyness. Please don't worry and just be glad that she comes home and shares her day with you. That shows she was paying attention to her teacher.

Answer 7

Research shows that children are not able to 'regulate' emotions until they can 'identify' emotions.  I would say things to her like 'you're feeling shy at school' or 'it looks like you're feeling a bit shy'....I would then sort of talk about what 'being shy' means and say some things like 'It's okay to feel shy, but I wonder if it makes it hard to make friends...things like that.  I would then give her strategies for how to interact with other kids and people...e.g. practice introductions and what we do when we meet new people.  Maybe talk about how adults meet new people and that we feel shy sometimes too.  Try to 'normalize' the situation by not making a huge deal out of it or asking her 'why'.  Simply talk about shyness as it's just another emotion that we all feel and soon she will likely be regulating it better.

Answer 8

Four is very young. Set up some play dates with children that are more vocal and see if it will rub off on your daughter. Encourage her to speak up at school.

Answer 9

i am a early childhood student, accoring to my profesor the best thing to do it to give her some time. eventually she'll grow out of it and learn to socialize. try not to push her too much, she'll find her own way there.

   Good Luck!!

Answer 10

You must have a friend that has a child that she gets along with great.  Have a get together with some of that parents friends when she sees that her friend can open up to total strangers, to her, it will help start her opening up slowly.  Never force her because you can instill a fear that is hard for her to get over.

School can be a big jump for some kids so starting at school may not be the best place to try.

Answer 11

shyness is normal. just made her feel at ease .when she feels she can come out of her cocoon,she'll do it so don't worry.

Answer 12

Talk to the teacher about adding supplies or items that your child enjoys to the classroom.  Your child has her own interests and they should be adapted to her school environment.  Maybe visiting the classroom with your child for the day and helping to pull other children into your play will help ease the shyness.  Your child may be shy for years.  That's o.k. You wont have to visit the principle.  I was very shy as a young student.  I grew into the class clown.  Inviting a child over to your house for a couple hours will also give your child a trusting face in her room.