4yr old & 1yr old clashing, help!?

Question

My 1yr old baby is slapping and hitting his older brother, my eldest will be playing quietly and the little one will just come and slap him. It's getting to the point that I can't let them play together anymore. I am never more then a few feet away from them but keeping them apart is difficult, every time my baby slaps or hits I pick him up and tell him no and try and occupy him somewhere else but this isn't always possible and if he is hurting my eldest I feel I should be comforting him. The baby hits pretty hard and just now whacked my eldest across the nose with a wooden stacking block. Why is he being so spiteful? he doesn't slap me or my husband. I feel so bad for my eldest, I hate having to separate them but what else can I do?

P.s I am not a smacking parent, I never smacked my eldest and he has turned out just fine so far, so please don't suggest it.

Answer 1

If you dont want to hear you need to punish your child i would suggest to remove your question! That is what most people would say! Something has to be done or your child is going to think its okay to hit! Picking him up and moving him is just words and he really doesnt list to that! You can tell by the fact he keeps doing it! You shouldnt hit your kid to the point to that leaves any type of bruising but a smack in the butt doesnt hurt if he acts like that!

Answer 2

put   the    baby  in  his   crib  for    5  minutes  and    after  his    five  minutes  is  up    let  him  know     everytime  he  does  that  he  will  be  in  his    crib   for    5  minutes

Answer 3

Maybe he is a very smart baby who has realised that his older brother has been encouraged to be gentle with him....and so is taking advantage of it. I would just carry on like you are....try to see what is happening BEFORE the baby attacks...lol....scary babies are the norm though...mine is a bit feisty already at 4 months! EDIT...BABYBOYONTHE WAY   is obviously one of those parents who think violence solves violence...and she isnt even a Mother yet! Lol.

Answer 4

your baby has learnt that every time he hits your older son he is picked up and comforted/played with by you.... there clever little babys lol...

its called negative attention, what you need to try to do is when your baby hits your son, pick him up and put him somewhere he cant move/hurt himself, ie.. in a play pen, cot or swing chair tell him hes done wrong and shouldnt hit people, and leave him for 10 mins or so and confort your older boy and play with him. then he will learn he doesnt get your attention from being naughty, then bring him to where you  and your older son are playing and include him in it, maybe get your older son to give him a cuddle or something to show theres no hard feelings, and if your 1yr old can kiss, cuddle, say sorry back.

Answer 5

u need to punish him. it will teach him a lesson to not hit him at all. of call for nanny and  u will be on tv and she will get his act together.

Answer 6

By occupying the baby somewhere else you are rewarding the behavior.

I've worked as a nanny and I had a similar situation with a gorgeous and spoiled 2 year old girl and her 4 year old brother.Her outrageous behavior actually got her attention from other adults, and it took a quite a while to correct it.

I would give the baby a time out in it's crib or other appropriate place. Just a very short one should definitely get the point across.

You can also try comforting the 4 year old, try and include the baby in this- an apology or a kiss- reward the positive behavior with good feelings and positive activity between the three of you.

Just realize that you may be rewarding the behavior. 1 y ear old isn't too young for you to explain why hitting is bad. Also look to see if the baby is getting the idea somewhere else- babies are socially smart- they know how to get attention and  they can see it it works for someone else- maybe daycare or a relative.

Best of luck- I wish you many kisses!