5-6 weeks prengnant to my ex of 5yrs?

Question

I have just found out i am 5-6 weeks pregnant to my ex of 5 yrs, i am only 20 so i was very young when we got together! it has always been a rocky relationship but in the end it turned out to be violent, he was always drunk, agressive, lying,cheating so we finally split about 3 weeks and i felt relieved that it was finally over but now i have found out i am pregnant and not sure what is the best thing to do as i dont want to be a single parent, with an ex who is possesive and controlling :(((( please help any advice is greatly recieved

Thanks

Sam xxxx

Answer 1

Own fault. If you wouldn't have wanted such a man as a potential father to your children you shouldn't have slept with that specific man.

Your choices are pretty straightforward really. Either abort and take your lesson out of it to let the past lie, and don't have s*x with him again. Have the child and raise it alone. Have the child and hope he won't be an abusive father which by the way you describe him is going to be a bit naive.

Answer 2

being a single parent is not impossible

considering he is the way he is

i STRONGLY urge you NOT to go back to him

he should be notified and required to pay child support

but DONT let him in your life

if he's not good to you, what makes you think he will be good for your baby???

if you need help rely on family, friends and look for areas near your home that offer support

i'm sure there are places like free or reduced childcare (for later on)

and talk to your doctor

good luck and take care :)

ps. i'm reading the other comments and i see a lot of "abortion"

i'm really against this

it's not the child's fault you got pregnant

don't get rid of him/her bc of a mistake you made

please

i guess it's up to you

but for my part

i'm strongly against abortion

the only reason i would see abortion as a possibility is in cases of rape

which in your case it isn't....

Answer 3

Really if you're thinking abortion that is not the way to go.  

Please allow me to be brutally honest (I do not want to be mean, I just want to express the truth to you)

1.  You were with this guy for 5 years and throughout the relationship things surfaced (the things you specified above) and now you decide to reflect back and question the relationship just because you're pregnant?

2.  Becoming pregnant is the result to lying down w/o a condom.

3. Why are you questioning yourself about what you should do when down inside you have thought of what you want to do.  You thinking long and hard this way is how you should have been thinking once you first found out he was elevating to abuse and violence in the different ways he has.

4. You not wanting to be a single parent is not an option for you.  If you decide to abort you will not be taking out your differences with your ex, you will be taking them out on an innocent child that didn't ask to be here.  Why should this not be a matter of concern for you?

Let me put it this way,  I am a single parent raising my 2 year old daughter with the GREAT help of her dad.  Having a child is not the end of your life so please do not think this way.  I have been a victim of some of the things you listed above and it was not easy for me either but as a woman, I have to push my pride aside and own up to the responsibility of what I was doing to get myself in the situation I was in as a single parent.  You going through the violence, I understand would make you question even having this child but now that he is your ex you have eliminated that factor from your life.  If you choose you can always let him know you're pregnant and move on in your life w/o him.  Understand that the world is not against you for being pregnant and not being married, you are which is your personal pride you have to deal with.  There are plenty of single moms out here that are taking care of their children just fine.  

Please consider all your resources and embrace being pregnant.  Do not let this stop you.

*Seriously, I was not trying to be mean at all I just know what you are going through.  I was once where you are now but I had to really sit and realize all the things I just shared with you in order of me to get the idea of preparing to be a mom*

Hope this helps

Answer 4

Abort

Answer 5

i think raise  by    your  own,because  the  baby  is blessing and  the  best  what  you  can  do  is  ask  some advice  to  ypur  family  members,goodluck  to  your  baby

Answer 6

You need to talk to someone who knows your situation and knows you to get the best idea.

Being a single mum isn't that bad. I did it for nearly 4 years and actually missed it when I had a new partner to share things with lol. It is hard but not permanent and there are other men out there and you can have your child put on the protection register and have an injunction ruled against your ex if you are that worried about what he will do.

Visit your local citizens advice bureau or social services to get the legal side and advice on what your options are.

Good luck and wish you all the best.

Answer 7

If he is abusive you can get an order of protection. Definetly tell people around you what is going on.

You are going to have to weight out your options. Abortion, Adoption, or raise it yourself.

Answer 8

you dont have to be with him .. unless you want to but he neeeds to know and he should take care of the child too.

Answer 9

I know you may not want to hear this, but if you have the baby you will have to be aroung him (if not with him) for the rest of your life. Your barely out of your teens.... that's a long way to go! If you want my opinion, it isn't right to bring a child into the world that you can't care for. Please get some councelling, but I would advise you to have an abortion as soon as you can. Take care!! xo

Answer 10

call a pregnancy help center they will help make sure that you can get financial help and such

Answer 11

If you don't want to be a single parent then your options are to abort or give the baby up for adoption. I suggest adoption so you don't have to live with the guilt of having an abortion for the rest of your life. If you have any dreams in your head of the dad cleaning himself up, getting back together with you and raising the baby together, living happily ever after please let them go. It won't happen- guys like him don't change suddenly, if at all. Good luck and I hope your next boyfriend is a better person! No one deserves to put up with that kind of c**p!