5 miscarriages i am 39 wife is 38 should we keep trying .we both want another child but its hard to do?

Question

dont no details docs just say it wasnt meant to be ,we have a son of 8 yrs maybe thats all we are supposed to have he is healthy and intellegent so just count our blessings it is to hard on my wife i think to go through it again

Answer 1

I believe it is a Mind over Body issue. When your wife gets pregnant, you and your wife has to learn to keep it to herself; keep it a secret until it is obvious and even when it is obvious still dont say anything. We may pick up vibes from people that they are jealous or they want something bad to happen to you... so keep it to yourself as a means of preservating her body spiritual and hormonal function.  Your wife may want to stay in a different place as a change of environment to help her emotional and hormonal stability.

Many cultures around the world keep it to themselves; i.e. they dont start telling people.

Answer 2

I'd consider looking at further investigations as to why the miscarriages keep happening. A good place to start is with some simple blood tests around immune issues.

http://repro-med.net/index.php

There's no such thing as "it's not meant to be" - there must be a medical reason why these pregnancies have failed. As for the respondant who said it's a mind over matter issue, how very insulting - this insinuates that this lady has caused this misery herself and the last thing she needs is hurtful blame like that. Please think before you post.

One of the main reasons for recurrent miscarriage and secondary infertility, is a disorder of the immune system where the mother's body develops antibodies to pregnancy hormones, making the pregnancy unsustainable. It's treatable, but you'll need a firm diagnosis first.

Very best of luck to you.

Answer 3

The only word which comes to my mind at this point is "adoption." It would be sooo correct on a number of different levels. It would be easier on your wife, and it would, in the long run, be easier on both of your hearts.

There is definitely an emotional strain from the history you have outlined for us in your original question, and the two of you have been through enough, trying. The adoption route may well be the smartest compromise on the horizon for you.

Ultimately, the two of you will decide, because it is so very personal a decision. There are so many children in the world who have no parents... it would be difficult to argue this in writing, because it seems like a wise choice, or course to follow.

I will simply suggest, as my answer, that the two of you "consider" it as one of your solutions that is available to you now.

Answer 4

Your poor wife's body.   miscarriages are hard on a body, sometimes harder and more dangerous than giving birth.  I had one that took 3 days and almost bled to death...People especially doctors, take them too lightly.

With 5 already why not try adoption?  Give your wife a break.  Maybe you were meant to adopt a special person.

Answer 5

Hi you havent gone into much detail about what might be causing the miscarriges? 5 seems alot. A friend of mine mis carried 3 times and it was a simple case of putting a small stitch in her womb opening that led her to be a mum of 2 now. Talk to your doc. Hope you dont give up. Good luck :-)

Answer 6

let me share my experience....

My very first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 14 weeks....we were devastated, but went on to have a healthy daughter, when I was 28 yrs old. When the time came to think about siblings for her we endured 4 more (earlier...6 - 10 weeks) miscarriages in a row....... no cause was diagnosed, although it was too many to put down to bad luck..... Our obstetrician was a bit befuddled(?), in that we had a child already but weren't having any luck...they call it secondary infertility......and was about to send us to IVF, where all the particular hormone levels etc could bemonitored closely, etc.....then as an afterthought she said we could try clomid first.....clomid is a follicle stimulating hormone........she said there was a possibility that the follicle that releases the egg was either releasing an immature egg, or the follicles hormones that sustain the pregnancy until the placenta kicks in were not lasting the distance and may need a bit of "oomph".....however, there would be a risk of a multiple birth...... we were willing to give it a go before trying the more invasive ivf techniques........the first course(month) we fell pregnant with twins, and carried them to term.......I was 31 yrs old....we'll never know exactly whether that is what worked, or whether it was just good luck.....but then 3 years later, at 34 yrs old, we naturally and successfully had baby number 4!

Sometimes your body can just get out of whack....no-one knows why, but it can also get back into sync, too.......

You guys would need to take her age and related risks into consideration as you decide how to proceed, however, this course of action may be worth investigating if no other cause for your miscarriages has been diagnosed.....

I wish you all the very best...I know what you are going through is heart breaking...but you are entitiled to grieve and feel upset, even though you do have a lovely son....you envisaged siblings for him.....and are allowed to feel ripped off! However, try to decide what action to take from here, and don't let your grief eat you up........eventually you'll need to make peace with whatever happens.....

good luck....

Answer 7

Hi:

I believe maybe is part of the medical system and the options they offer to you as well. I am from Venezuela and basically i used to have private medical access.

Stadisticly in the private sector in Venezuela, the numbers of miscarriages is so low around the 2%. It is basically because when the mum-to-be when is  just  in her first  month  of pregnancy, the obstetrician normally recommend to use progesterone ovules which helps to prevent miscarriages.

I don't mean this is a final solution in your case but i invite you to look for more information about this and speak with your doctor to see the options available.

Obviously your wife doesn't have any problem to become pregnant which mean she is absolutely fertile, the problem is basically to keep the baby and i am very sure the progesterone can help you, which is only used in the first month of pregnancy and doesn't have secondary effects and can not to hurt the embrion.

I am pregnant with 39 weeks, but i live with my husband in the UK, the system is different they didn't offer to me a progesterone or something like that and i remember clearly when the GP was speaking with me about the miscarriages possibilities and i become really freak out about. They don't offer to you the progesterone, but is just different medical options.

  

My sister is pregnant in Venezuela and the Obstetrician gave to her the progesterone to avoid miscarriages, it is a normal procedure with pregnancies. She is now 4 months pregnant with a healthy baby.

Don't give up!!! just look other options , still is you need to travel, don't close your mind and good look

I attached 2 different links that maybe can help you and if you decide to travel i can recommend you those private clinics to you: Clinica Leopoldo Aguerrevere, Hospital de clinicas Caracas, Clinica la Floresta and Policlinica Metropolitana. All located in Caracas-Venezuela. Very good in Obstetrician and Pediatric medicine. I am very sure you can find people who will be glad to help you in English

Answer 8

Don't ever give up, but why does she keep miscarrying.  there must be some medical reason.  Hope its not too invasive, but that depends on whether you should keep trying.  I am 38 myself and Trying To Conceive.  I cant even manage to get part done.  It too is stressful.  But I truly hope your wife is okay and she really needs to find out why it keeps happening.  How does she feel about it?  Its her body that is going through all of this, and if shes okay with it, and her body is okay with it, Well then I say GO FOR IT....................