5 y/o said she was going kill herself she heard it from a child at shcool. What would you do?

Question

When I sent my 5 y/o daughter to timeout for not listening she told me she was going to kill herself. I asked where she heard that from and she said a boy at school said it when he got in trouble. She has said things like "I'm going to runaway and I don't love you and nobody likes me" but this is a first. Should talk to the teacher or counsler or call the dr. ? What are signs of childhood depression? This all started when she started school this year. I'm also concerned about the boy in school that said that, I don't know how his home life is. Any advise would be great. Thanks

Answer 1

I really do not think it is time to worry. She is probably just repeating what she heard and since she is getting a reaction from you she continues. At age five she is not even fully aware of death, children do not understand the permanence of death until they are around 7(it doesn't matter how fast they are growing up these days). She is not cognitively able to understand death fully.

I am a nanny for three children, the oldest(then three), would tell his mom he wanted to go into an ambulance and to the hospital and get sick, every time he was disciplined. He said this because she overreacted to it the first time, giving him attention. This went on for a few weeks until one day she must have got tired of hearing it and simply told him fine, and then proceeded to ignore the behavior, within a week he stopped saying it because he wasn't getting the reaction he wanted anymore.

I wouldn't be concerned for the boy either. He is probably in the same situation. He most likely heard it from someone and his parents over reacted.

Ignore the behavior, it will go away. Do not give power to the words and she will stop saying them. She says it because you stopped the timeout the first time she said it to proceed to ask questions about what she said, she is looking for the same reaction each time and probably getting it.

It is the same reason children tell their parents they don't love them anymore, it is not that they don't, it is because the first time they said it their parents most likely became visibly upset or made a big deal over the issue with tons of questions, etc?

Answer 2

I would definitely talk with someone about it.  I disagree with the first answer you have, that a 5 year old does not know the concept of those things.  Kids are growing up quicker these days.  Let the counselor know what's been going on, find out who this other child is, and do all you can to make yours understand that what she is saying is not good and get her all the help she needs.  She may not really understand it all now, but those things stick with you and she may end up with underlying issues later on down the road and it might possibly end up too late before you recognize that she is being serious and not just repeating things.  Good Luck to you both.

Answer 3

It sounds to me like she is just repeating what she heard. If you notice that she is saying things like this frequently, begins to act out or acts withdrawn, contact her doctor ASAP. It sounds to me like she is just repeating what she heard the older kids say. I would start by talking to the teacher of the child she heard say it to see if she can help out. I can see why you would be very frustrated with this situation! In the mean time, try to discern if she actually knows what that means ( without making a big deal out of it). If she doesn't seem to understand, treat it just as if she said a curse word and let her know that sort of language is not welcome in your house and she is not allowed to say them.

I hope this helps!

Answer 4

Talk to school admin or try to contact the parents of this monster. It's the best you can do.

Answer 5

I know a couple of kids that have said the same thing at that age. I know one of the kids got it from watching a teen tv show with an older sibling.

They say it to make an impact---just like "I hate you" etc.

I know there are some kids out there with serious mental health issues, but I think even normal healthy kids can say stuff like this because they feel strongly about something and this is the most extreme thing they can say.

Mention it to the teacher, but don't worry too much because it may mean nothing at all.

BTW The little girl who said this in front of me is now 9 and the little boy who said it is now 7 and both seem to be fine.

Answer 6

I understand your concern about your daughter.

I'am not sure but she's just a kid and probably she does'nt even understand what she's saying . She is in a learning stage and in this stage kids love to imitate anything they find new and heroic.That boy's words probably got printed in her tender mind and she used it at her first chance.

Anyway , I agree with you about taking to the teacher.I think you should talk to her about the boy so that she knows what 's happening and does something about it. Ask the teacher to give more a little more attention to your kid and try to keep her  in good company.

I don't know much of the situation but certainly try to spend more time to her , talk to her ,do little things like giving her her favorite goodies frequently as a surprise. You certainly love and care for your daughter , just make it more clear to her.

Try this link  to know more about childhood depression:

http://depression.about.com/od/childhood...

Hope this helps.

Answer 7

She probably doesn't even understand the concept of death yet, let alone suicide. Kids say things that they hear at school all the time. Its how I learned to cuss!

Answer 8

she probably doesn't know what she is saying and just repeating what that lil boy said. i would be telling the school cause that lil boy could be depressed or just says that cause at home he says it or hears it and get attention.

just explain to your daughter that those aren't appropriate things to say and you shouldn't say those things. and tell her to not repeat it.

Answer 9

One of the painful aspects of sending a child to pre-school is the stuff that they bring back with them--and I don't mean just lice or the flu.  They pick up habits (like nose picking) and in this case the kind of talk you have described.  In any case, you will need to find the right language to discuss this issue with your child.  It sounds like a topic parents might like to hear more about, perhaps from a mental health professional who could address a PTA meeting.  Child suicide (at earlier and earlier ages) is rising, and if I were you, I would discuss the situation with the teacher.  Your concern for the other child may be entirely founded.

Answer 10

If my kid was saying this, I would have a fairly serious talk about while it's okay to be upset about something, it is NOT okay to threaten to run away or kill yourself. Chances are she doesn't even understand the gravity of what she's saying, especially if she just heard it from some kid at school.

Answer 11

I would defiantly call the school counseler or doc for some answers on how to solve this problem. I would also find the boy from school and talk to his parents as well. Good luck to you

Answer 12

Ive heard a few kids say it. My 6 year old said all sorts of horrable things like that starting around 5. I probably did the wrong thing but i grounded her harshly. she dident say it again. I dont know that she really knows what it means. If your concerned you can take her to a therapist. or discuss it with the school counsolor.