5 year old being bullied...Advice plz?

Question

My son just started school this year, and has been bullied from pretty well day one by the older kids (grade 3 and up) . He is very active, but placid. I have approached the teachers trying to work with them to stop the bullying. His teacher is regularly away (at least one day a week). It has now gotten to the point where i have told him to hit back after they hit him. as nothing has been done.

He has his lunch taken regularly, gets hit, shoved over, things thrown at him, and is now acting out at home.

I am at my wits end, and i dont know how i should approach this anymore.

Please no negative responses on my son, as i am doing the best i can to combat the problem.

As far as i can see, the last three things i can do are to

1: approach the principal

2: contact the department of education

3: change his school.

I really dont want to change his school as i feel it could be detrimantal to his education. As it has taken him a long time to settle him in.

Answer 1

You need to take this to the top. Your son is being emotionally abused on a daily basis (if not physically abused) and if you don't intervene soon, he will be set up to be the victim for many years to come. Meet with the principal tomorrow. Demand the parents of the bullies be held accountable.

Where are the teachers and supervisors at lunch when this is happening? No child should ever have to endure this level of abuse. It's not normal and the teachers and lunch supervisors are guilty of neglect, I'm sorry to say.

Also, any school that allows 3rd graders and up to associate with 5 year olds needs to be re-evaluated. Every kindegarten I know of around here, separates the little ones from the big ones, just for this reason. A 5-year does not have the social skills to deal with older kids and needs to be protected.

If the principal does nothing, write a letter to the editor of the local paper and go to the board of education.

BTW, when I was a child, bullies were allowed to run the schools. From kindegarten to 9th grade I was bullied, often right in front of teachers. I was small, skinny and shy. The bullying caused me to avoid after school activities and other activities that involved being around strange kids. The more a kid is bullied as a little one, the easier it is for the bullies to target them as they grow up. I ended up dropping out of school at the end of 9th grade because I was so tired of the constant abuse. You can only imagine how difficult my life has been since then, trying to make up for all the lost education and opportunities. My case is not unique, which is why I am very strongly against allowing bullies to reign unchecked.

Good luck.

Answer 2

You do need to ask for a meeting with the parents of the children involved. and in all of this, make sure that you listen to your son when he wants to talk about it. He will have some strong feelings need will need some help to work through them, possibly even counselling. and I would consider enrolling him in a self defence course. This will help his self esteem immensely as well as equip him with some skills.

Answer 3

Definitely you should have spoken to the principal long before now.  If the situation is not STOPPED in two weeks call the police.  That will get the school's attention as they don't want the negative publicity and hassle. You don't have to threaten just say "I am at my wit's end of what to do to protect my child.  The only other thing I can think of is to call the police, he is so frightened."  That will let them know it's in your head if things don't get better.   If the principal is no help contact the superintendant (just call him at the board office as you would anyone else).  After that, actually get the police involved.  Your son will get to hate school and his social skills will be affected by this.  He should not learn that he has to move schools because of them although I have seen that work as a last resort.  

Your complaint will be better processed if you have the following information:

Date of each incident (start recording now if you don't remember the past)

Name of each child involved or physical description

Class of the involved children (children often identify each other by class as in Nicky in Ms. L's or Jane in grade 5)

What exactly happened

Name of anyone in his class or other classes who watched.

How the incident stopped (did a teacher arrive, did the boys go off on their own, etc.)  

Keep a written log of this and call the principal TODAY to request a meeting .

Every school I have taught in or seen has a separate play area and supervisors for the kindergarten children.  They don't play in the "big yard" until grade 1.  Look at the other schools in your district and see how it is done there.  Perhaps you should consider joining the school parent council.  You will be at your son's school more and you may be able to make some useful suggestions about how things are run.

Answer 4

Bullying is a problem in a lot of schools.Unfortunately a lot of schools fail to address this problem.The major problem is that the bullying will continue until the bully gets reinforced for his behaviour.So it is important that you address this issue as soon as possible.I would recommend the principal but often they are not very helpful.Also,if your son hits back than he might be blamed for misbehaving too.

Is there a bullying program at the school at all or bullying policy?

See the principal first and if nothing happens call the department.

Answer 5

Since he is little you can approach the principal.. if he was older this would embarrass him big time.  I don't think telling him to hit back is a good idea unless they really have him cornered.  Tell him to basically cause a scene.  Maybe he can embarrass the bullies.  Tell him to yell, "stop trying to kiss me" or something that will make boys back off.

Answer 6

well well well hello there  tell him to tell the bullies that his aunty tracy will beat them up for him that will fix it. ha ha love ya xoxo

Answer 7

Give him steroids.

Answer 8

let him fight his own battle

Answer 9

Teach him how to fight back. Schools are notorious for not doing a d**n thing when a child is being bullied. He has to stand up for himself to gain respect.

Answer 10

Usually 5 yr olds are not bullied by their peers because they are accepted at this age.  However he is not being bullied by his peers.  They are much older children.  Where is the supervision when kids that are 4 years older can do this?   I don't think anyone would want their child at a school where kids are unsupervised or allowed to bully the younger children.  Have you talked to any of his classmates parents to see if they are experiencing a similar situation?   I would switch schools, at this age his self-esteem and emotional development are more important then academics.

In addition I would take him to a psychologist to help him deal with what he has gone through.  I also would do numbers 1+2.

Answer 11

Oh... your poor son, does he hate school yet? Teaching him to hit, that can backfire on him. Try karate classes, they teach defense but not to attack. And does he stand a chance with the older kids? Yes, I would approach the principal since the teacher doesn't seem to be helping. Have you thought about approaching the teachers of these other older kids? You can also try to catch these incidents on tape, some schools have security cameras. There is also spy ware available, I built mine from a kit <No I am not some kind of genius or handy, there was alot of trial and error and help from the Radioshack guys {I wore it for a few days first}> so my child or anyone else, wouldn't know what it was. You will have wires, the camera/transmitter, and  battery pack <it didn't last all day>. I don't know what you would use for a boy, maybe a laminated sports trading card. There are many moral issues in using this but I feel protecting my child is more important. Be warned you might find out things about your child you never knew lol. We had a problem with some neighborhood bullies, I gave my daughter a pin rather large and bulky to wear <unbeknownst to her there was a camera inside {kids aren't good at keeping secrets} she just thought she was getting a special priviledge> She wore it to school and I recorded her day and caught the little suckers. I had to sit outside with my laptop <not all require laptops you will have to check out what's available> for a couple of days but solved the problem. 1) the bullies got into trouble. 2)  Changed how the school did things, the big kids were separated from the younger ones and there was more supervison during the times they couldn't be separated. The school didn't realize the problem was as severe as it was, neither did I. Some of the worst of it my daughter wasn't even the recipient of. We relocated <thank God> and are in a better school now. Sorry if there are spelling errors the spellcheck won't work.

Answer 12

I can think of two simple ways. Have your son fight back. There really isn't much of a size difference (In my opinion) between a third and first grader. I don't think your son would be at too much of a disadvantage. Have him fight the bullies.

Another way would be to have your son make friends with like a 5th grader to scare off the 3rd graders. Or a third way might be to arrange a meeting with the parents of the bullies. Really I dont think going through the school system would be the best way to handle this.

Answer 13

you must talk to the princable

and talk to the mothers of those kids

Answer 14

I am sorry to hear you are having this problem, but it can be solved, don't worry!!

You have said that you have spoken to the principal, and obviously nothing has been done as yet, therefore my advice would be to tell the principal you would like a meeting with the parents of the children who are bullying so that they can be made aware what their children are doing! If this is refused, then inform the principal that you will have no choice but to report the matter to the police as the bullying is amounting to a form of abuse which you will not stand for!!

You will have to be forceful and assertive over this, as your Son is the only one who is suffering at the moment and you are the only one with the ability to sort it out for him!

I had this problem with one of my children at school and I think you'll find that one mention of reporting it to police makes the school jump into action and it will be sorted out in no time!!

I really hope this works for you as it did me, as there is nothing worse than sending your unhappy child to a place he doesn't want to be, all because of other people.

Good Luck!

Answer 15

I hate bullies and I always have. They always tend to pick on little ones, younger then they are and smaller. I would go to the principle and demand that something is done or you will go to the school board. I would also start my son in kick boxing classes or karate classes. It is good for his ego and builds self confidence. I have seen some of the cutest little boys in these classes go for the different belts. I would not change schools, there is one at every school. Show this one he will not win.  Good luck.

Answer 16

I have a 5 yr old who has trichotillomania and the kids were picking at her because she had bald spots on her head.  

Here's what I did:

First I went thru the teachers - this did not work. Then I took my daughter to the principal's office and had her tell the principal who was bothering her. Then I asked the principal to call the parents and set up a conference with them. We all met and needless to say the kids stopped. After the parents found out what was going on, they were furious! One parent actually bent the child over his knee and spanked his butt right there in the principal's office. This worked this year, but maybe next year she won't have to go thru this again.

You can alway enroll your child in some self defense courses.