5 year old frustrated and didnt want to do it himself?

Question

My 5 year old isnt very independent at times. He wants you to basically do everything for him. examples: Brush his teeth, buckle his seat belt, open things that he could open himself and untangling his headphones. This morning once again he wants me to untangle his headphones. I told him no that he needed to learn to do things himself and to practice figuring out thing on his on since he was a schoolkid now. He argue about it for a few seconds but i didnt budge. He kept getting frustrated and stomping while trying to do it his dad and I have shown many a time how to untangle these headphones. He started whining will you do it for me and I said once again no I have to do all the cleaning and take care of you and your brother the least you could do to help is untangle your own headphones. Well he ended breaking them out of anger and said he wanted to throw them in the trash. I let him and I didnt give him attention for his bad behavior because he likes to get attention for bad behavior. Did I handle this correctly?

Answer 1

Yes you did. Near perfect might I say lol. Just get him to understand that he can do things himself.

Answer 2

You did exceptional.  You are correct, he is 5 years old and should be doing these things himself.  Don't purchase another set of headphones for him until you are certain he has learned his lesson about getting frustrated and allowing his anger to get the better of him.

Answer 3

Yes, you did. Now the hard part is going to be resisting when he starts whining about wanting new headphones.

You're going to have a rough go for a while, because he's gotten used to you doing things for himself, but you are on the right track. Just be sure you praise and reward him when he does do things for himself. You can ease off on that later, once it's become habitul, but for now, give him lots of attention for doing things for himself.  

Answer 4

u did perfectly!!

Answer 5

I think so. My 4 year old wants me to do things for her also. I just tell her that no she can do it. But if she tries for several minutes with no success then I will step in and help her. I just continue to teach her how to do things herself.

Answer 6

Absolutely. If you continue to do things for him, he'll NEVER want to grow up and learn to do things on his own. You did a good job. Now he might realize something, if he would have untangled them himself, they wouldn't have gotten broken, but because he refused and was being difficult, he doesn't have the headphones to enjoy anymore.

Answer 7

Good job!

My ex's niece was the same way. Her parents gave in and I actually went over to their house and saw her in her mom's lap, getting her teeth brushed at like 9 - 11 years old. At this same age she also claimed that she couldn't do her homework - putting words in alphabetical order. Her parents let this go too far and now that she's supposed to be starting high school, I think they are starting to see that it was a mistake to baby her for so long.

My daughter was similar to your son at 5 years old. (although not quite as bad) I handled things similar to how you are doing it, and she has gotten much better. I still have to buckle her seatbelt half the time, but she brushes her teeth and at least attempts to untangle stuff.  

Answer 8

He is only 5 years old.  Children learn by watching their parents.  Praise him for for doing good, like being a good big brother.  De-tangling anything is very frustrating even for adults. I would have made suggestions of which way to twist and turn the cord to be able to untangle the headset. Do you give him attention and praise him for good behavior? He sounds as if he doesn't get enough attention from you so he has learned that the bad behavior is a way to get attention.  A  5 yr. old isn't capable of brushing their teeth the proper way.  Perhaps you should brush your teeth together so he can watch and learn. Sounds like you have decided now he attends pre-school he is all grown up.  Not so.  He is still a little boy who needs LOVE and positive reinforcement. Too much negativity, no don't do that, do that on your own, leave me alone, I don't have time, etc.  You are the parent. Read child psychology books, positive upbringing, nurture your child. It is up to the parent to teach the child. Boys are slower than girls. They do not mature as fast. Boys learn better by sight than audio.  It may take 5 to 10 times repetitiveness for a child to learn something...maybe more....

Answer 9

I think you handled the situation more or less correctly.  There should have definitely been discipline for the temper tantrum, though.  You might think about putting him in a time out for 2-3 minutes (set your kitchen timer so he can hear when time is up) and explain to him why he is in time out.  Also, when he gets frustrated, better than ignoring him is to try to speak calmly with him.  Ask him why he is upset and tell him you understand his frustration, but that he is a big boy and you would like him to really try to do it on his own.  That way, he doesn't get even MORE mad at being ignored on top of being frustrated.  You do have to stand your ground though, which you did.