5 year old with attitude

Question

My son is 5 and hes a perfect angel at school but once hes home he has this super bad attitude. We ask him a question and all we get is smart butt remarks. It started when I was pregnant with my daughter who is now 3 months. I thought it was going to have to do with her being born and hes 5 the big age difference but he loves her and doesn't seem jealous at all. He also listens to NOTHING. I need advice on how to stop this because i feel bad that hes always in trouble. Ive tried to take toys, time out (thats a joke!) , no tv, no movies, sending him to his room, and spanking his bottom, and the first thing I tried was talking to him and asking him why he is acting this way and all he says is he doesn't know. Im soooo tried of this its crazy!! Oh yea I also bought him a transformers watch he wanted and I said if he was good for 2 days in a row he could have it well this was about a month and a half ago and its still in its package sitting here. I don't know what to do.

Please keep rudeness to your self not in the mood for it right now.

Thanx :)

Answer 1

Answer number three hit the nail on the head. You're so used to him being a brat that you don't even give the poor boy a chance to behave. Ignore his negative behavior, kids at his age do rotten stuff to get attention. Then, when he does something good praise him and make him feel loved! He'll start to realize that acting like a twit isn't going to get him any love or affection and he'll start to do good things for attention instead of bad things =)

Answer 2

This sounds exactly like my son at that age.  Look up Oppositional Defiant Disorder, it may be a possibility.  No discipline works well from what I understand, and from what we have gone through.  

Answer 3

give him a taste of his own medicine. when he asks you a question give him a smart *** answer and dont listen to him

Answer 4

My daughter did that at the same age.  And her reason was "i don't know".  Most of the time she was bored or trying to get attention.  When she started asking up we asked what she wanted and generally we found she wanted someone to play with or talk to.  Once we started asking or keeping her entertained she was great!  

Answer 5

Could it be that he knows you expect him to act badly?  Just like you are expecting the people here to act badly?  The thing that really caught my eye is when you said "Please keep rudeness to your self not in the mood for it right now."

You lecture us about rudness without giving us a chance!

You have much better results with kids (adults too) if you emphasize the positive, and not constantly show them you are expecting them to be bad.

Like the transformers watch...what you're doing is holding it over his head and keeping it from him for imagined future naughiness.  That is giving him the signal you expect him to be naughty.

Why not try showing him you expect him to be good, not bad?

Answer 6

"time outs" please. That only works on nanny shows. Also taking toys away doesn't work (again, only on nanny shows) it just makes them angry. I think every kid about five does that. Its just a phase. (hopefully!)  good luck!!!

Answer 7

Time for you two parents to do a turnaround and discipline, NOT punish.

That means rewarding good behaviour, and ignoring bad behaviour. You should be wanting to encourage the behaviour you want.

I'm pretty sure he went from being spoiled as the only child, and now you haven't the same amount of time with him - and it's just when he needs it the most. Threatening and bribing just do not work.

Honestly, Supernanny uses some absolutely great ideas - so try watch some episodes. Her methods are based on common sense - but beware, parents - it's hard work for you - you MUST be consistent.

Wish you luck.

Answer 8

Hmm this might be a stage in his life he might be going through temporarily. However, I mean I was hit when I was a little kid and that straighten me out a lot. It could also be that he is being picked on in school and he takes out his frustrations around the house might be a psychological issue since he doesn't know either. I suggest you take him to a psychiatrist because this is just overall a very q***r situation. I hope this helps.

Leo

Answer 9

Sounds like the five year old is tired.  Try ranting and raving around the house for a few days.  Then tell him you are mad and angry because you are tired and "take a nap"  Once you "wake up"  be super nice and tell him that all you needed was a nap to make you feel better.  Suggest to him before he goes to school, while he isn't being difficult, that this afternoon everyone is going to take a rest.  With everything happening, the baby waking at night, a new schedule with school, he might just be plain tired!

Answer 10

It is a stage that he is going through (I wouldn't jump to conclusions about any disorders just yet!! -- that's a very very dangerous thing to do, once you start down that road......). He's trying to experiment with his boundaries. Try for a day to only point out the positive stuff he's doing. ("Thank you so much for bringing me a diaper for the baby as soon as I asked you, I see you can listen to instructions very well. that's big boy behaviour" "You're playing so nicely with your toys right now... that is big boy behaviour!) also find other "big boy" behaviour stuff that he's doing and tell him that "this is big boy behaviour. and then when he answers you in a way that is disrespectful, tell him at eye level, in a calm voice

you just said ... (repeat what he said)  that's not a big boy way of answering me, you can do better than that. Then tell him that you will ask him the question again and this time you want him to think of a better answer. If he can't think of anything (highly doubtful, he sounds pretty intelligent) then model for him what are "big boy" responses that are acceptable.