As a result of the past twelve years of drama and trauma in my life - a life time of panic disorder and depression I also have chronic fatigue syndrome, high blood pressure, diabetes, and sleep apnea.
It's an effort to just get out of bed many days and there is no way I can hold down a job let alone one at some discount store's pace. The idea of having to go to school to get a license to teach in this state and having to be somewhere every day fills me such dread I can scarcely breathe.
My husband makes a living but just enough to pay our bills not the 5 or 6 hundred dollars a month that my student loan holders are asking. I keep filing a forbearance but for I can't do that forever. He wasn't even in the picture when I was in school. I will never pay that much money off before I die!! I am scared to death. which is not helping my depression.
I try to paint, do pottery, give lessons and knit to make money but I just can't seem to sell anything of consequencece. I love my stuff but no one else seems to.
My question is (finally) Is there any kind of program that I can submit to to help me out? I thought college was the best thing for me when I started at the age of 38 graduating seven years later with two bachelors and one masters degree. I love teaching But it has not worked out for me. I am mad at my advisers and my college for not counseling me better. They were ecstatic to take my money and my student loans but offered me no advice of my not making any money with the three degrees. In fact I was talked into going more to get the second bachelors. I lost my two jobs teaching adjunct in community colleges because mine is not a terminal degree.
Please don't judge me harshly I am a product of my phobias and disorders. I've lived this my entire life. I stretched beyond my limits to go to college and work those 12 years that I worked, but I don't know if I have it in me to pick up again enough to work a daily grind. Yes I can work from home, I can do art when I have the energy and strength, but I am struggling to keep it together with these loans looming over me and getting bigger every year. And at 83 years of age my parents need me at any given moment to do any given thing.
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