6 year old not using the bathroom-in the bathroom?

Question

I have a 6 year old that recently (within the last 2 months) started to go to the bathroom in his underwear. He will pee in them, but not fully wet his pants just enough so you can see that his underwear are wet. Also, as of last week, he has pooped in them a couple times, this is all while he is at home and we have two bathrooms, so he can't say that they were being used. I have talked to his doctor about the wetting and she says it is because he is a boy and boys do that. Well, I don't think that is a good enough reason. He is 6 he know how to use the bathroom. I have taken away the t.v. in his room, the playstaion, I have put him in the corner, I have made him sit on his little brothers potty chair. Yesterday when he did it (number 2) he was playing with toys so now I have taken toys away from him. I don't know what else to do with him.

Answer 1

I can think of quite a few  reasons he might be doing this:

*  Typical 6-year-old gets "too busy" playing to take time out to go to the bathroom.

*   Competition with little brother who is being potty-trained....wants to be "potty trained" again, too.

*   Something at home or at school is bothering him, and he is seeking attention.

*   He feels that he has no control over his life, and this is one thing he CAN control.

*   Neurological problem, and he can no longer tell when he needs to go.

If the doctor has already ruled out any kind of physical problem, the next thing is to reward good behavior (going on the toilet) and ignore bad behavior (in pants).    Give him stickers on the calendar for every day he stays dry and clean, and get him something he has been wanting very much once he has 10 consecutive stickers.

Embarrassing him and punishing him is definitely not going to solve the problem.

Answer 2

If it's accidental, he should NOT be punished. It may be a physical or emotional issue.

Answer 3

See a pediatric gastroentologist(sp?). You may need a referral from your regular doctor. Sorry, but your doctor is not equipped to handle this. My son soiled himself til he was 10, Just a boy thing, yeah right. He had encopresis, and its fixed now. We have to re-potty train him.

Answer 4

the more you scold him for doing it.. the more he will do it.. he seems too old to be doing that though.

after he does it does he run to you to change him? or does he frequently ask for a diaper? or could he be jealous of the attention his little brother gets while you are potty training him?

I would just ignore him when he poops or pees himself... if he does it and comes to you.... just say... ok, you want to sit in p**p   and pee.. fine by me. tell him that's how babies act and if he wants to be a baby then you will treat him like a baby.

I have a sister that used to rip off her diaper/panties and would shat on the floor. it's normal ....although she was three at the time.

Answer 5

There are a lot of good answers already.  If this behaviour didn't happen before, then I would be concerned too. Have you talked to your son about what's happening?  My first move would be to take some time alone with my son, in a private place where you can ask hard questions without him feeling threatened or embarassed.  Tell him why you're worried, and ask him if he knows why it's happening.  Others already mentioned the sibling jealousy, potential for problems at school, possibility of abuse and other situations that your son might be too young to understand or verbalize.  But if it's a physical problem and he can tell you how it feels without worrying that he's just going to get into trouble, then you can go to your doctor and insist that tests be done.

If it's not a physical or emotional problem, it can simply be that he doesn't want to leave what he's doing to go to the bathroom and suddenly finds it's too late.  You can talk about why he needs to try harder. Work together to figure out how he can solve the problem. Set him up as a good role model for his younger brother, or find something for him to get excited about that he can only do because he's so grown up and mature. With my two children, any incentive I use for my younger son to teach him, I also give to my older daughter.  We're working on multiplication, and my son earns points or game time or jujubes for the flashcards that he memorizes.  Whatever reward he earns, my daughter gets also.  That way she wants him to succeed and she helps him. If you're potty training your younger son, you could involve your older son somehow.

I know it must be frustrating for you, but I don't punishment is the way to handle it in this case.  Good luck.

Answer 6

you need to call his Dr. he could have a intestinal problem and a bladder problem

Answer 7

hi my name is tim i Had the same thing when i was 7 it was a nerve thing go to a different doc its not his fault . think how it will be if you are him

Answer 8

One of my cousins used to do that until he was about 8 or 9.  He would pee little squirts in his underwear every so often, so that his underwear would be wet but his pants would be dry.  Neither reward nor punishment helped.  He eventually grew out of it.  First though, have the doctor check out your son to make sure nothing else is wrong physically.

Answer 9

I heard that sometimes kids do that when they are having emotional problems, especially when they have been potty trained for awhile and start doing it out of the blue. You might want to take him to a psychcologist to see if everythings ok, since his doctor says that there is nothing phsically wrong.

Answer 10

Sounds to me like he needs to get some testing.  If he wasn't doing it before and is now it could be a behaviorial or physical problem.  Instead of punishing him for going in his pants, try rewarding him when he uses the facilities correctly.  Have you had any major changes in the household?  Is he possibly being bullied at school?  Also, if he's only doing this at home and not in public, it's probably something behaviorial.  I wish you luck, it must be very stressful!!

Answer 11

Before you punish him any further you need to insist that the doctor run some test. If the doctor doesn't want to then get a new doctor. You need to know if there is a physical reason for your sons problem. If there is no problem then you can take it from there. If he never pooped in his pants before then you may want to consider seeing a psychologist. Any chance that he was sexually abused?