6 yr old old enough to make decision on whether or not she wants to go to great grandmother's birthday party??

Question

Well, her dad and I aren't together but it doesnt make an excuse for how his mom and grandmother treats our daughter. His grandmother has always been this way and I think that it's because my child is biracial..she has this so called theory for biracial people. She always tries to make me brush my daughter's hair back into a ponytail so that the curls are in the band.

But my daughter doesnt want to go. She was crying to me last night. I feel as if she needs to know her family. She knows that they treat her differently...she always asks me about it. But I dont want her dad to think that I just dont want him to see her.

Im sort of shakey about sending her because she's sensitive because of my relationship with her dad. He gets so angry. But he never hits her. It's just that I cannot be there...and I do not want them to say anything or do anything that will hurt her feelings, you know?

I just dont know what to do.

Answer 1

i don't think she is old enough to make her own decisions; however, that doesn't mean she should go.

is their a visitation schedule that says she has to go? if so, then their isn't much she or you can say about it.

if it is up to you, and you believe that she is physically safe then she should go. do they normally have your daughter at family functions?

how do they treat her differently? many times what is noticeable to an adult isn't noticed by a child. if she knows that it irritates you or worries you, then she will pick up on that.

we all have to do things we don't want to. it is just a party so i would send her and pick her up right afterwards.

good luck. sd

Answer 2

She's not old enough.  Perhaps you can discuss it with her and dad at the same time.  Bring up her concerns so he sees she feels real about these things.  And that it upsets her.

But, she is ultimately not old enough to decide what is best for her.  But you are.

Answer 3

make her go because it might be the last time she sees her. i was 7 and i had to go to my great grandmas bday. now she is gone and im glad i got to spend time with her. especially before she became blind.

Answer 4

She is telling you something is wrong with the situation.  My 6 year old is smart most of them know more than we give them credit for  and she knows when something is not right.   They are not accepting your daughter!  Put yourself in her shoes with her feelings.  How would you feel.  I would never make her do it and when they ask why she is not there, tell em exactly why not.  This child is made to feel different and that is just awful.  Let her father bring great grandma over for a visit the next day.

Answer 5

NO She is not old enough to decide. its your opinion, if thinks that your not sending her its not like hes going to do anything to you or her, just trust your self, you can figure out the right thing to do!

Answer 6

If U don't think that this will be a good expirience for her, then tell her it's okay to not go.

Answer 7

She is not old enough to decide. I would trust my gut if you don't think this is a good environment for your child to be in don't send her.

Answer 8

No, she's not.

Answer 9

if you are not going to be there to defend her then it is entirely upto you as to whether or not you send her, by the sounds of it though it doesnt sound like an environment you want her to be in so dont send her.

arrange another time for the dad to see her

Answer 10

I would not make her go.  If they treat her differently then why would you want to put her through that.  Tell her dad she can go when they want to treat her right!

Answer 11

Absolutely not.

Answer 12

If the child dosen't want to go, but she has to due to the divorce papers than she HAS to go!

Answer 13

I wouldn't make her go if she's going to be that upset especially since you can't be there with her.  Lots of kids are biracial.  I hate people who a prejudice.  God made us all in his own image and I'm sure that she is beautiful.  Tell her father the truth about why she doesn't want to go.  Hopefully he can be compassionate and understanding and not be a shmuck.  Why would he want to put his daughter through any hurt if it can be prevented?  Good luck.

Answer 14

You don't make decisions on stuff like that. She's your family. You may never even see her again. GO.