7 y/o behavior?

Question

Any ideas on how to stop a 7 y/o from lying? Stealing? Being very sneaky? He lies about everything and anything. When we make it clear we know he's lying, he says he dreamt it. He steals at home and has been caught in school once. He is very sneaky. We took his TV away for getting in trouble at school. He came downstairs, sat beside me and told me he loves me (accompanied with a hug), went back to his room, shut his door and turned on his TV (knowing he wasn't suppose to). The day before, he checked to see what Dad was doing (he was doing paperwork), said hi to his father, went back upstairs and turned on his TV because he thought his father was too busy to notice. This morning he told me he used to drink coffee. I asked him who allowed it (I knew he was lying). He then changed his little white lie and said he had a dream that he was allowed to drink coffee. I know this one is minor but it happens all the time. Any advise on how to turn these behaviors around? He isn't ADD/ADHD.

Answer 1

He's testing to see how much he can get away with.My suggestion would be to remove the TV from his room. He's also using affection to bribe you.Smart guy you have there. He will continue to push the envelope to see what he can and can't get away with.This behavior usually lasts about a year.Then you will have a few very quiet years until he hits his teens and the hormones start to affect him.Good luck mom  Stay focused and let him know you love him and what he's doing will come to no good end.You've got a good start and the right idea.

Answer 2

Ok, you say you took away his TV, but you really didn't.  You left it in his room.  Take it away physically and everything else in his room that is "fun".  No tv, no computer, no X-Box, no video games, etc.

In this day and age you aren't supposed to hurt the poor little dear's psyche.  Thank you Dr. Spock and friends.  You're going to have to not believe anything he says and tell him so to his face.  Inform all his teachers that he's a liar and shouldn't be believed.  And, IMHO, a little bit of corporal punnishment wouldn't hurt either.  I'm not saying to beat him, but a spankings won't scar him for life.

And on the stealing thing, also tell his teachers and friends that he's a thief.  Next time you catch him at it, haul him down to the local police station and charge him with theft.  See if they'll throw him in the slammer for a few hours.

You could always send him away to a very strict military school where they will teach him honesty, discipline and not to lie.

Answer 3

First:  REMOVE THE TV FROMHIS ROOM!!!

Next:  get him to a child psychologist immediately. You and he need professional help.

The situation will only worsen without help.

Answer 4

Take his T.V. out of the room.  Give him hot sauce everytime you catch him in a lie.  I know it sounds mean.  Wait at least a min then let him get a drink.

Answer 5

this may sound crazy, but steal his tv (make it obvious) and then lie about who took it. maybe give him a hug and tell him you love him then steal it. sometimes stealers and liars need to see how it feels to have that done to them. remember to teach him as you are doing these things and talk abotu how he feels when you are treating him this way. also, tell him you dreamt that he was grounded. then, don't ground him because you realize it was a dream and things we dream aren't excuses to do things we know we aren't allowed to do.

you have to admit that the dream thing is really creative, but he is being manipulative and that has to stop because it can get him into real trouble as an adult!

Answer 6

Consistent, escalating consequences. It's not easy, especially if he's already developed the habit. Harsh punishments may become necessary, but never dole out punishments when your angry, and never let him wriggle out of them once they're assigned. Make sure it's clear that it's his behavior, not your whim, that got him in trouble. It's also good if he knows exactly why what he's doing is wrong.

Answer 7

you have to lay down the rules and be more strict. time outs can be very effective. don't give in to him when he hugs you and tells u he loves you, it's not going to teach him anything. if you do put him in time out, or punish him in some way, make sure he knows why he is being punished b/c otherwise, hes not going to learn from it, and he'll just keep doing it. you may want to reward him for good behavior as time goes on, so give him a sticker or something. that way, he'll feel like he accomplished something, and he'll keep wanting to be on a good behavior so that he can get a sticker.

best of luck

Answer 8

Are you the stepmother or the mother you didn't say?  It is a consistent effort to stop liying and stealing.  Follow through with all discipline.  When you take away a privelage such as tv, a toy, video games remove them so he cannot use them anyway.  Always be consistent with consequences.  If he steals from others at school what are his consequences? Make sure the punishment fits the crime.  My daughter started lying and saying she would dream things.  I tell her it is ok to dream and pretend until it is hurtful or is mean to others and I then talk about good dreams and things to look forward to and remind her that it is up to her.  It is possible he is looking for attention.  My daughter has imaginary friends that do bad things and are mean, if she comes up with one of these stories I make her outloud tell her friends that they are not behaving and have to go home.  If she is blaming her actions on something else I tell her that we do not blame others for what we do it is our choice how we behave.  Does he have friends that are bad influences?  Sometimes children are influenced by others even if you have taught them the behaviour is not ok, the best thing to do is not to have them around that child.  If you want to prevet parents hurt feelings tell them your child is not behaving and so he cannot be around his friends right now.  Most of all your son needs to know there are consequences for his actions, and the consequences are his choice good or bad.  Do not tell him he is bad, for some reason this seems to be ingrained in a child and they think of themselves as bad they behave that way.  Tell him he is good but he is misbehaving and it will not be tolerated.  Ask him if he likes his consequenses of no tv or whatever the punishment is, chances are he will say no, remind him it is his choice if he bahaves and is truthful and doesn't take things from others he has good consequences, privelages and rewards if he misbehaves, he will have bad consequences loss of pri velages and punishment.  YOu can also try having  him give something of his to a person he stole from like if the money was yours he has to give you a toy of his, don't give it back to him.  I give you kudos for trying to resolve this without putting it off as ADD/ADHD and medicating him.  There are far too many people who do this and it makes the ones who truly suffer from this fall by the wayside and not get proper care.

Answer 9

smack the boy and say DONT LIE OR STEAL ITS A SIN!!