7 year old angel at home, bad at school... Help?

Question

I really need some good advice here, my 7year old son is one of the best kids you could ask for. He almost always listens at home, is very respectful and helpful, an all around sweet boy. But when he goes to school it's like another side of him, he doesn't listen, doesn't stay on task, and does things he knows are wrong, like yelling in the halls. We have taken things away and made him sit in his room, we also spank him. But none of this is getting through to him. We don't know what else to do, it's hard to discipline him for behaving bad when we have never seen that side of him. If anyone has advice, please do give it.

Answer 1

See he could be attention seeking... away from all the personal attention in a group where he has to vie for position he doesn't fair so well because his used to attention on demand.

Another viewpoint would be that school is not challenging his mental capacity and he is bored. Much education these days is based on a drip feed method and remembering facts and figures (times table style) is boring, even children switch off, selective hearing...

Id er with the second especially if when you sit down with him he picks up concepts quickly...

You can change school or you can try and up the level of the school your at...

Try teaching him to get creative with homework, go to extra lengths to find out more, explore with layout. follow a tangent just to see where it leads... the other kids will start to follow the lead.

Remember he's 7 if hes acting up - its for a reason

he does not have the language capactity to disclose his motive. People don't normaly lose that much control unless theres pressure coming from somewhere, are you guys conformists do you follow the herd?

Is he trying to be like his parents rather then fit in with the crowd?

The general ethos of childcare today is Life long learning which is for explorers of discovery rather than data base children.

it just always takes a while for the institutions to catch up.

i wish you all the best.

Answer 2

Show up at the school unannounced and let the principal know you are there to witness your sons behaviour for yourself seeing as you have never seen him act the way they describe.  If you find that it is true...speak firmly with your son and ask him why he does these things.  If he knows you have seen him act that way then he can't deny it.  If it doesn't help you to solve the problem ask the principal for her advice and schedule an appointment with a child psychologist.  Good Luck.

Answer 3

little ****.

Answer 4

Sorry...but ur son is FAKE yhu got urself a lil actor!!!!  He wantz attention at skool that he iz not getting at home!!!

Church and counselors w!ll help!!!

Answer 5

my son is going threw the same things he is 8 at home he knows his limits and what is expected of him he is at home after all. at school he knows he wont get a spanken and he sees how far he can go.also no one child is raised the same so they act out what they see.I think mine is bored he catches on to things really quick and after repeating the same thing over and over he just gives up.ready to move on to the next task.A behavior chart is a good  tool to and from home.you can see what time of the day he is acting out the most and do your own test with his diet earlier bed time an after school activity for him to look forward  to and try harder for.I keep telling myself yelling in the halls is not as bad as punching someones lights out its really not that bad. he could be puttting  him self or other in danger so be thankful its just little things.

Answer 6

Has his teacher started some sort of behavior chart? Rewarding him for good behavior? I am a teacher and I find that behavior charts do work with some kids who have problems at school.

Answer 7

Maybe your son is having like peer pressure, or is trying to be popular, or he is just a actor. try talking to him and see his reaction. If is glad to talk to you ( you can figure out the rest) If he feels embarrassed,back off, don't go see a counselor, that could hurt his ego. Only go to a counselor if it gets super super serious

Answer 8

I say you crack out the whip and spiked table.

Answer 9

First Go to school with him one day.  Don't interact with him, just "shadow" for the day.  He's likely not to misbehave with you around, but you can see if there are any triggers for him, if the teacher is to easy, etc, and have a better feel for things.

At 7, having mom there might not be that much of a deterrent (it works great as one for MS students).

Then, have a meeting with the teachers, counselor, and your son to a set out a "game plan" with him - create a behavior contract with him and the teacher.

Clearly he knows how to behave, he's not ADD/ADHD because does not exhibit these behavoirs.  Meds are wonderful for kids that need them, but not all kids need them that act poorly.

You didn't mention grades/performance - having him screened for some type of learning problem would be advised if he also seemed to be missing grade level benchmarks.

It's likely that he just likes the attention that he gets from the kids.  It doesn't speak to how much attention you give - it only speaks to his personality.

he just doesn't quite realize that he really has to at school.

Answer 10

I have a six and seven year old son. They both had that same problem. Their teacher's have what's called a daily parent report that goes by points 0-100 based on behavior. We use several things as rewards depending on the number of points. For example we give give 3nickles for a(very good) day and 4nickles for (an excellent) day or if they maintain 80-100 points aday for the week they are awarded a new toy or Chucky Cheese trip at the end of the week. They have become quite competative actually, to the point that they look forward to being the best kid in class so that they will get the best prize. Make it fun, and sort of a game. He 'll be so into it his goal every morning will be to be the best behaved. I hope this helps.It worked for me and both my kids ARE ADHD.

Answer 11

You have to talk to the school, there is something else going on. Perhaps he enjoys the attention being naughty gets? Kids do it sometimes to impress others too. Could it be a defence mechanism? I was told by a teacher before to not punish my child at home for what they have done at school. I brought in a reward chart for my son when he was the same age. Get him to help you make it. I tell him that good behaviour is rewarded. We have had a $5 chart where he got an amount of stickers then he would be rewarded with $5. Some may say its bribery, but it worked at the time & now everything at school is fine & we do not have the reward chart or system.

Answer 12

If he acts out at school but not at home, chances are he's seeking attention. By goofing off and not listening, he may be trying to communicate that the schoolwork is too easy for him. My suggestion would be to try and get an assessment of his true academic level; if he is somewhat above the rest of the class, perhaps you could have some extra work arranged, or think about moving him up a grade.

In any case, though, you should have a discussion with the teacher about this; since she's the one witnessing the behavior, she may have insights to its triggers, as well as insights about your son's intelligence. Once you can agree about what's causing the behavior, you and the teacher can work together to address it. Good luck tackling this!

Answer 13

I think having to sit in a chair is hard.  Listening may be hard, too, if he's uninterested in the subject.  The other kids may be bothering/ distracting him.

Ask for the district's psychologist to come and evaluate him.  Maybe he's not seeing what everyone else is--dyslexia.  Maybe his attention span is short.  Who knows?

Personally, I take concerta to help me focus (I'm 46).

Your discipline methods are not working.

Try Total Transformation (on the web).  You can try it for a month, send it back if you don't like it, but I really, really wish I'd had this man's advice when our son was that age.  It's still helping--we're almost halfway through it.  The way we relate to our son (17), what we expect of him, how we answer his manipulations is all getting cleared up for me.

TX Mom

Answer 14

Maybe he is wanting attention at school and feels this is a great way to get everyone to pay attention to him. He may not like having to share attention