7 year old - can she make her own sandwich?

Question

My 10 year old son had his birthday party. I was reamed by my mom that I didn't act like a parent when I put the fixings on the table for dinner (lunchmeat, cheese, bread) and expected my 7 year old to make her own sandwich. My sister created plates of food for her 7 and 10 year old, and was lauded as parenting. Am I expecting too much of a 7 year old girl (to be able to fix a plate of food for herself?). I figured that there was nothing that needed cutting, and she probably wouldn't eat the salads or corn pudding anyways. What is a good expectation in this situation? BTW, my 10 year old had no problem creating his own plate, of course.

Answer 1

No there is nothing wrong with her making her own sandwich!  My daughter is 5 and makes her own sandwiches sometimes.  It helps them learn and make choices as to what they want on it. As long as she wasn't using any sharp knives I applaud you for helping your child become independent!  

Answer 2

Of course she can!  I would think the other kids would be embarrassed to have mommy feeding them like toddlers. Most kids are proud to say "I did it by myself" about everything, unless they are coddled and lazy.

My son has always loved helping out, he started by matching socks at age 2, then one day when his best friend was coming over he decided to sweep the living room! When he was four he took on the responsibility of running the dishwasher in the morning before we go out. Now he is five, and can fix himself a sandwich, pour juice, measure water or rice, wash fruit...really anything he can safely do, of course I let him. I make sure that the things he needs are stored on low shelves, and he uses a spoon or small wooden spatula to spread peanut butter and jam.

I think the problem in your case is that your mom has forgotten the developmental stages associated with your children's ages. I have the same problem with the last generation in our family. And its not consistent, my son is sometimes considered to be acting too young and sometimes too old, as in your example.

You know your kids best. Just be confident, and explain gently that this is the way you do things.  

Answer 3

I would ask her what she wanted, then help her make it.

Answer 4

I don't have any children of my own, but I think that kids are way too pampered these days. My brother is 16, and often gets my mom to serve/heat his food. I'm lazy and pretty unmotivated I admit, but I remember fixing my own breakfast when I was 7. (Although, that was eggs, and so I would definitely recommend parental supervision for that).

If you start early, I think it would make her at least that more self sufficient and less clueless when it comes to fixing something quick to eat.  

Answer 5

If she is happy making her own sandwich then i say let her. It will teach her to do things for her self and she will more likely eat it if she has made because it has all the stuff she wont's on it.

Good for you for letting her :-)  

Answer 6

No

Answer 7

They gotta learn sometime, I wouldn't think it's bad.

They're preparing for life.

I would do the same with my kids.

Answer 8

let me tell u from experience...when I was 7, 8, 9, 10 even 11...my mom did EVERYTHING for me so one day when I was by myself I didnt know what 2 do! so yeah 7 is the "age of reason" and she should be able to make her own sandwich! shes not a baby or even a toddler! and to judge myself, now reading these other answers, I realize it wouldve helped me have confidence had I been able to do more by myself at a younger age---I still lack confidence and struggle with neediness in relationships.

Answer 9

she might not be able to spread the mustard/mayonaise whatever u use but every thing else yea she can do

Answer 10

If the 7 year old made her own sandwich, I'd think of her as "What a big girl, making her own food!"

This is definitely not expecting too much of her!

Answer 11

By allowing your children some independence and responsibility, you are being a great parent.  In fact, she could do some cutting with supervision.  The training has to start somewhere, otherwise they'll be under you for life.  That can't be what you or their grandmother wants.

EDIT:  A few of my words were cut off before.  Don't know how that happened.  Sorry.

Answer 12

I'd say most 7 year olds could do this...but if they want help, or look like they need help, then help them.  Making a fuss about them feeling like they couldn't make their own plate, that would be bad parenting.

Answer 13

Your mom needs to chill. From the little bit of info here, I gather that she may be a control freak. You are doing the right thing here by teaching your kids independence and allowing them to take some initiative in their own lives. You sound like a great parent.  

Answer 14

my girls are still young but my 4 year old can get herself drinks and some snacks usually yogurt or crackers, banana. you would be the best judge of what your child can do. I plan to help my girls but i will not wait on them all their lives. I think they should be given chances to do for themselves within reason. it helps build confidence and helps them be independent  

Answer 15

yes, mam your 7yr.old should be able to fix her own plate by herself, and you will see she's very proud of herself that she can fix her own plate!

Answer 16

A seven year old is totally capable of making a sandwich.

Allowing you children to make their own food builds their confidence.

Allowing you kids to make their own sandwich is also healthier because they will only take as much as they want and will not over eat.

I must commend you on creating confident independent children.

Answer 17

She probally could, but enjoy doing the little things for your kids, you'll never know when they'll be gone.

Answer 18

A 7 year old is completely capable for making her own sandwich.  

Answer 19

I don't think you were expecting too much at all - and for a one-off it doesn't matter whether she selects a balanced meal or not.

I'd be careful with that expectation that she wouldn't eat the salads, though. Lunchmeat, cheese and bread contains no fruit and veg at all. At seven your daughter should be in the habit of eating fruit and/or veg as part of her meal.