7th grade girl bullies with carpool?

Question

I belong to a carpool in which one girl regularly rides home with us. For the past 3 weeks she has ignored my daughter in the car. Taken the front seat even though the back seat is open. She is only civil with me and almost rude. My daughter had no idea there was a problem, I did. I suspect the problem arose because of the 3rd "friend," a queen bee of sorts. Last night she called several friends to ask them not to text her as she was getting close to going over. The queen bee girl informed my daughter by text message of course, that there was nothing to worry about since they are no longer friends. My daughter moaned and cried all night. She realized the problem with both girls for the 1st time. What to do to help? And how long should I deal with the rude kid in the carpool? Please note that girl's mom needs my carpool and not the other way around. I can pick my kid up any day of the week.

Answer 1

This girl is taking advantage of your and your daughter.  Do you think for one minute that the other mom(s) would participate with you in a carpool if it was your daugther who was rude.  You can call the mom and explain that there is a situation with the girls that makes you uncomfortable and until it is resolved you cannot take her daughter anymore.  This mom should probably take that cue to explain to her daughter that life does not revolve around her.  She may be queen bee in your neighborhood, but in the great big world, she's in for a shock.

Answer 2

Tell the mother to make her kid respectful and if it doesnt get better she will have to get a new carpool. The mother would then probley take care of it.

Answer 3

Talking with the situation-I had the exact same in 7th grade-was embarrassing...and not effective, I found.

Tell the mother very discretely that her daughter ought to shape up to earn that car ride, and be firm but remain accquaintances with the daughter. Tell your daughter that It's not her fault that the girl was being mean to her! It's her (the 'bee....'s) problem and your daughter doesn't deserve that! What kind of friend makes another cry? Be mature, and handle this like so, and you should be fine. At least, I wish my mom had...

Answer 4

"note that girl's mom needs my carpool and not the other way around. I can pick my kid up any day of the week."

even though this shouldn't be a factor, lucky for you, it works out in your favor. =)

i dont know how close you are w/the other child's mother, but id just call her up on day or write a letter, requesting that the two of you set up a time to talk, when you both are free.

no one likes to hear bad news about their child, but chances are she doesn't even know this is going on either.

stick to the facts w/o calling her daughter any types of names, but point out how it has left your daughter feeling.

Answer 5

You drive the carpool and the kids mother needs it talk with themothers and if the kids arent respectull to you and your duaghter tell there mothers to fig it out how to get kids to school on own sorry to be so blunt it just seems to be needed. its not right for you to need to worry about your duaghter or your duaghter to cry all nite.

Answer 6

good times. why not pull the girl aside yourself and tell her what you think. If she decides to get herself together then let it be, if not that's your daughter forget what that other girl and her parents need if they can't teach her to respect others than forget it.

Answer 7

7th grade girls do this - they'll all be friends again in a week - don;t worry about it.