8 year old refusing to go to bed......?

Question

My fiance and I live together and my fiance's 8 year old refuses to go to bed! She says she's not a baby and that 9:00 is too early for a girl her age to go to bed. We have tried everything from carrying her into her room and putting her onto the bed to punishing her to talking to her, nothing works. She just says "I'm not a baby! I shouldn't have to go to bed at this babyish time!" And she's always very tired and cranky in the morning!

Please help! We really want her to go to bed! Should we really treat her like a baby and make her got to bed at seven o'clock and put her in a sleeping bag in the baby's room(I have a 1 year old daughter)? She really acts like a baby. What should we do? Treat her like a baby? Talk to her? HELP!

Answer 1

Tell her everyone girl at her age goes to bed at 9. My 6 year old son goes to bed at 9. tell her if you want to go bed like a baby time that would be seven clock at night.  Or say babies go to bed at 7. You stay two hours longer then they do. I agree with the people top of me. Take her privileges away from her.

Answer 2

well see this is a very silly prob that u r sharing with strangers that means u r not a responsible parent!ok whatever dont force her trust her when she is refusing to go to the bed that means she is not feeling sleepy!......n even 9:00 is not the time to go to bed!

Answer 3

when she starts acting that way...pack up and move to your own bedroom and say that if she wants to act like an immature brat she can do it ALONE, she can stay up, but she cant do anything fun...at all she can do chores

Answer 4

Refusing?  Sorry, an 8 year old should not have the option to refuse anything she is told to do.  Tell her babies don't go to bed at 9, they go to bed at 7, and if she is going to act like a baby, she will go to bed at 7.  Try what I did with my daughter.  She wasn't really sleepy at her assigned bedtime, but I put a lamp on her nightstand and told her she could read a book in her bed until she fell asleep, but she had to stay in bed and she couldn't get out any other toys.  She loved to read, so that worked for her.  If she discovered on her own that she was sleepy, she would turn off the lamp herself, if not, I did it for her if I walked in and saw her passed out with the book.  I never had a problem with bedtime.  If your little demon still throws a fit, do what the others suggest... take away privileges one by one until she gets the idea.  I always told my daughter that kids who don't behave don't get special privileges.

Answer 5

Ah, i remember when i was 8. I hated bedtime, but i went to sleep at 8:30. She needs to know that if she keeps acting like a baby, she will be treated like one.

I am 14  and i go to bed at 9. I don't think my parents treat me like a baby. But i go to sleep at 9 i wake up at a good time and i don't miss my bus.

If i go to sleep late, i will most likey miss my bus and have to go to sleep earlier.

Talk to her. i think that is the best way to handle and if she still wants to go to sleep late, make her go to sleep the same time the baby does.

And it is summer, she is going to get bad habits. When school comes around, she will want to go to sleep late again.

You can let her sleep a little later but not like 2 AM.

Good luck!

Answer 6

How to get an eight year old to go to sleep

*How to get an eight year old to go to sleep starts as a routine on a nightly basis. It is the parents responsibility to make sure that the child has had a warm bath, the child isn't hungry when he/she goes to bed, or that the child doesn't take a 4 hour nap after they finish their homework and 2 hours later it is their regular bedtime. I would suggest that a child should run and play outside when the weather permits, thereby having used that hyper energy, when bedtime rolls around, there isn't a problem getting the eight year old to sleep.

*Another point that I would like to make is that parents should curtail all sweets that children eat after a certain hour of the evening. We know that sugar has a negative affect on children and it would be wise to monitor their sugar intake so that they won't be too hyper to go to sleep.

Sometimes, when a child has eaten too many junk foods earlier in the day, it is possible that the junk foods has something to do with them not falling asleep right away. They could have a stomach ache or they may have a fever or they may be coming down with a cold. Whatever the situation is, the parents usually will be able to pinpoint what the problem is. Good and caring parents are like that. They know when something is wrong with their child or children. Make sure you check for a fever or other discomforts that a child may be experiencing.

Read the child a story while they are relaxing and unwinding in bed. Maybe they just want a little extra attention and the assurance that everything is okay. Give them their favorite blankie or stuffed animal. Sometimes children pick up on tension that may occur between their parents. If that is the case, it is necessary to once again assure the child that everything is okay.

Also, make sure there is adequate ventilization in the room. If it is too hot and stuffy, it may cause the child to not readily fall off to sleep.

Last but not least, kneel down at the bed with your child while they are saying their prayers and afterwards, tuck them into bed and kiss them good night and tell them that you love them. Sometimes it may take a few minutes for the child to fall asleep, so if you hold them in your arm and softly sing to them, they will soon enter into dream land.

If a child is unable to fall asleep because they are afraid of the boogieman, reassure your child that there is no boogieman in the room, under the bed, in the closet or anywhere else. Leave the light on in their room until they are sleep. If the child receives that reasurance from the parents, they will soon relax and fall off to sleep. Good night.

Answer 7

It is summer she shouldn't have a bed time.

She will sleep when she needs it.

Answer 8

You should tell her that if she doesn't go to bed you will take everything away from her the next day (TV, Friends, Computer, Games....toys....etc) This way when she doesn't go to bed to test you, you can take them away and she will be mad about it.  Then if she goes to bed in time that night, give them back the next day.  Simple as that.

Answer 9

Sounds like a control issue.  She wants to control something and this is what she has picked.  Put her to bed when you feel the right time for bed is.  When she gets out, put her back.  The only thing you need to tell her is, "It's bed time."  You do not need to engage in any discussion about it.  She may keep getting up, you put her back.  She yells and screams, you ignore her.  Close the door and let her throw her fit.  You have to show her that her behavior isn't going to bother you, even if you are ready to run screaming from the house.

A couple of other things to try...tape her before she goes to bed.  Show her how much of a baby she is being.  The tantrums, the arguing, etc... Also tape her in the morning when she is cranky because of lack of sleep.  Maybe seeing what she looks like will help.

Set up a behavior chart... Each day of the week gets a sticker when she goes to bed at her proper bed time.  She can earn "stay up minutes" in 5 minute increments (or whatever you decide), for each sticker earned, or for doing stuff to be helpful or even just being particularly nice to another person.  She can earn stuff like Friday/Saturday night movie, special TV show, treat, or some time out alone with one of you.  Just make sure  whatever it is is worth it for her.

Good Luck!

Answer 10

Punishment! Take away something that she likes to do. Tell her if she doesn't go to sleep that she cannot go to camp, go swimming, with friends, etc. Also, you ARE not her step-mom (Yet) so you really have no say as to what her punishment should be. It is up to her dad. I lived with my husband before we got married and my step-kids wouldn't listen to me but once we got married they changed. At the wedding they came up to me and officially welcomed me and said that I was their "mom" (Their mom passed away when they were young) instead of just their dad's girlfriend.

Gina: Experts in the sleep industry recommend that children of all ages AND adults stay up no longer than 1 hour passed their regular bedtime on weekends and during the Summer. It throws them off too much. Kids/teens need about 10 hours of sleep a day and toddlers need about 12 hours.

Kids that don't get enough sleep can be falsely diagnosed as having ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) as it can affect their memory.

Answer 11

Start taking away privileges and possessions.  Just keep removing them one by one until she gets the message,  And then make her earn them back.

Answer 12

Spank her butt.

Answer 13

You guys are the parents, she's the child. You make the rules. The idea is to set the rule and be consistent. Nine is late enough for a school night. You might give her a little longer on weekends (if she goes to bed without fuss during the week). If she doesn't go to bed when she is supposed to, there should be consequences such as no playing with her friends after school the next day. Be firm, but don't lose your cool.

Just remember. Firm, consistent, calm and repercussions or rewards as appropriate.

Answer 14

There is no "WE" here, you have no right telling this child when to go to bed.  That is for her father to do.  You are not related to this child.  You are not married to her father so you need to butt out.  It is up to her father to determine her bedtime...my 8 year old goes to bed between 9:30 and 10:00 and has no problems getting up at 6:00 am.

Answer 15

When I was eight I had to go to bed a seven. I think you have to choices, I wached this on super nanny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X--dq2JzK... you can just let her stay up as long as she wants and she will get so tired, shell go to bed early.

I hope I helped.

Answer 16

for everytime she does not go to bed make the next nights bedtime 10 min earlier. Tell her this will be the consequences. You are the parents and are the ones in charge, not her

Answer 17

beat her like a penyatta.thats what i would do.no 8 year old chooses there own bed time...

Answer 18

Ok well thats the problem, if she refuses to go to bed at 9:00 and she procrastinates until 10 then put her to bed at 8 and tell her that if she will not go to bed at 9 then you will treaat her like a baby and put her to bed at 8. and then if she procratinates until nine and then falls asleep then she will be going to bed at the right time. Children 2-13 need to get 10-12 hours of sleep and if shes not getting that then she will pay in the future. The reason she is grouchy and stuff is because she is going to bed over tired and/or not gettinbg enough sleep, you need to keep someone her age on a regular sleeping schedule, go to bed at 8:30 wake up at 7:00. make sure she is having the right amount of sleep. Use reverse phychology if you have to, tell her that if she goes to bed at 8:30 today then she can go to bed at 9:00 tomorrow, but do that after she has gotten in the schedule of going to bed at 8. You have to make sure that she knows that its not her choice what time she goes to bed. Make sure she knows that because if she does not respect that fact, then you will be in troubl when shes a teen. Also when she says, i need water, i need to go to the bathroom, i need my blanket, dont believe it, what my mom did was always make sure i had bottle of water, like one of those ones that you buy from the dollar store that is like a jogging one that when you turn it upside down it does not spill, and it does not have one of those open things, just make sure she always has water, not juice and not milk, and my mom did this thing where i had to go to the bathrooom once before bed and i could go once after., hope this helped, i have tons of more tips, but my hands are cramoping, email me if you want some more.

Answer 19

Put an outer lock on her door put her in the room and lock her in there. If that doesnt work either make her go to bed earlier or take her to a phycologist. I was 10 when I started going to bed at 9

Answer 20

tell her i'm 13 and i go to bed at 9:00.

Its true,i'm cranky in the mornin if i go to sleep and later.

Her nerves are probably shot that her mom/dad has a fiance and getting married to another person thats not her origanal mom/dad so shes putting on a show trying to get rid of you possibly,trust me my mom and dad have been divorced since i was 3,and me and my sister have done some crazeee stuff to get rid of our dads girl friends(:

Answer 21

sounds like this is war bigger than just bedtime.  move out till the problem's are fixed -it's a huge communication one between you and the fiance.  support all of his decisions with the kid cuz she's the MOST IMPORTANT member of the family and get some counseling.