8 year old son with major attitude, and respect issue....?

Question

My finance' son is 8 years old he is a wonderful kid and very smart - but unfortunately he has been acting up more and more lately. He has a major.... MAJOR attitude with everyone, he throws a fit like a 2 year old or worse - kicking, screaming, crying if he does not get exactly what he wants. And if you try to talk to him, he accuses you of yelling at him, being mean, and that you hate him - even if you are speaking in a clam manner and on his level. His mother and father are separated and I understand that can cause problems with kids. Unfortunately he is having these problems with his mother and father both - no matter what house they are at. He has a younger brother that is only 3 years old and he extremely well behaved and very polite. It is upsetting and very tiring to try and deal with him - as the days continue it gets worse, and once in a while he will have a good day. His father and I are looking for advice we just don't know what else do to... please help :(

Answer 1

start taking stuff away from him and giving him some major punishments. also, consider putting him into martial arts. it will teach him self control, respect, etc. it has helped my kids a lot.

Answer 2

Spend some quality time with him and make sure to point out every little good thing he does, and try to turn your cheek to the bad. Do this on a regular basis and he will begin to learn how to get positive attention rather than negative. Also do not respond at all to the temper tantrums. Not one word, or glance. After a few times of getting no reaction it will stop. Remember to ignore the tantrums no matter where you are or who is watching. He probably knows that it will embarrass you in public, so he will think it will work there. Put aside the embarrassment and stick to your guns!

Answer 3

His behaviour gets attention and a child sometimes doesn't care what he does to get it. I'd say try to ignore the bad and empahsize the good acts. Remember, it's the basd act...not the bad child.

Perhaps he is not getting dad's attention as much because dad also now pays attention to you?

Maybe you can both give him love and affection after he has done a good deed or shown a good attitude about something.

Good luck.This is a tricky one.

Answer 4

He's probably having a rough time with the breakdown of his nuclear family.  Now that his parents are separated and it's becoming obvious that he'll never have them together again, I would say it's totally understandable that he's acting out.  Not good, but understandable.

He needs limits.  The fact that he is rebelling is a clear sign of this.  You need to stay on him every time he throws a fit or shows disrespect.  Put him in time-out until he calms down and them discipline him appropriately, including spanking (but not smacking him in the face, as has been suggested).  In time, he will adjust to his new circumstances, but he's just having a rough time right now.  Put yourself in his shoes and imagine having no control over his mom and dad breaking up and his dad moving on to someone else.  That would be hard for anyone, especially for an 8-year-old.

Answer 5

There are many parenting strategies that you could try, but I want to make another suggestion.  An 8 year old who throws kicking screaming terrible-twos fits may have a diagnosable and treatable behavioral or psychological issue.  If his school has a counselor, see if he can get tested, and if not, find a child psychologist.  

Best wishes!

Answer 6

He is a r****d. he needs to grow afew more years, and yeah, needs to give him major punishments. martial arts can be risky though, if you enrol him in a class, make sure you are better than him, or in the end he'll be going around whacking people.