8 year old step daughter not wiping?

Question

We came to discover that after going pee she isnt wiping herself. We spoke to her about it and told her how it's not healthy to not be cleaning herself like that. We even told her she had to go to the bathroom with the door open so we can make sure she is. This morning I found she had not again. What can we do to get ghet to clean herself properly?

Answer 1

Spank her bottom.  It will help her to remember.

Answer 2

well keeping the door open is about the worst thing you can do. She is 8 don't treat her like a baby! what is wrong with you? It doesn't surprise me that she doesn't want to listen to you. Get her doctor to talk to her instead.

Answer 3

If this is new behaviour it needs a much closer look.   This could be a sign that someone is abusing her.    It might not be that, but you must not ignore that possibility.  

You might want to do more listening than talking too.   Find out why she's stopped wiping.   If she's not sure, then ask why she refuses to, even though she knows it's a problem for both her and you.    

This could be her way of exerting control, because she feels too powerless in her life.

If you consult her a bit more on things like what she's wearing, eating, etc. and giving her a bit of advance notice about upcoming family activities, like shopping trips... it will help her feel like she has some control in her life.

When anyone feels excessively controlled by others they tend to find a way to recapture it in any way possible.    

Not wiping may be your step daughters way and means.

Oh, one more thing.   If you are a relatively new step mother it would be best this be handled by her dad.

Answer 4

Maybe you showed her wrong. She may find more than a pat is a violation. She is eight but she still has rights and she can should have the right to privacy. As long as she is changing her under garments daily and bathing there should not be an issue. As long as she uses TP when she poo's leave it alone. I am I guy and I don't wipe maybe she has a little bit of a desire to be a guy. I would not wipe if I had to with c**p for paper.

Answer 5

i use to do that..haha my parents just got really upset and i started wiping esp when i got around my peers nobdy wants to be different everyone else wipes so i did too.

Answer 6

give the child privacy.  you have no right to teach her anything.  it's up to her mom and dad.

Answer 7

I'm not sure, so calling your doctor and asking him/her is probably the best way to get some suggestions.

Answer 8

Get some disposable/flushable wipes to make it easier. If this still doesn't work, let her stew in it and get the rash, then she'll realize she has to wipe.

Answer 9

Maybe get some of the new wet wipes that kids can use, I think they are made by 'Kandoo' with a little frog on them?

They are much more hygenic.

Answer 10

Of course she doesn't want to talk to her father.  Sence you have already expained it to her and she still doesn't want to clean herself.  I would go with her to the bathroom everytime and help her with it, show her how its done!  She won't want you to but make it a thing that has to happen until she gets sick of it. At 8 she probably isnt going to want to have you go with her everytime sence she is a "big girl".  So after a while she will probably give in and start wiping!

Answer 11

I'd try the flushable wipes, and if that doesn't encourage her to do it, then make her a Dr.'s appt and have the Dr. explain the importance of keeping that area clean.  She may take it better from someone outside of family, and see that it is kind of a big deal.

Answer 12

She obviously wasn't taught this when she was small.  That isn't HER fault.  You really have no right to make her leave the door open when she urinates, just because you don't like her not "cleaning" her vaginal area doesn't give you the right to watch her urinate, if I were the child I would be calling CPS over it.  The child deseves THAT much privacy.  As far as your claim of it being "unhealthy" you are wrong.  Although it's not hygenic it is not unhealthy not to wipe the vaginal area after urinating.  If it were human females would have died out long ago and the human race along with it because when they first came to be on this planet NOBODY wiped.  That is WHY powders were invented.  They smelled nice and were used to "dry" the vaginal area of the female body.  All I can suggest to you is that if it bothers you so much to make her do her own laundry.  But she deserves to be able to shut the door when she urinates just like YOU do.