8 yr old girl with body image problems?

Question

I've always been careful not to talk about my body in a negative way around my daughter cause I don't want her being insecure about her body like so many girls are these days. We exercise, we eat right most of the time, but despite my efforts she has recently begun making comments about her "fat legs" or "fat belly", and she is by no means overweight, she's not exactly skinny, but she's a decent weight for her heighth, but aside from that, she's only in the 3rd grade! I don't know exactly how to handle it, should I say "Sweety, you're not fat"..or should I say "Let's try to exercise more and eat healthier"...I'm afraid of making her more insecure! What do you say when your daughter looks in the mirror and doesn't like her outfit, as was the case this morning, and changes because she says her legs looked too fat? Where is this coming from? How do I help her, I control what she watches on TV most of the time and she's in sports most of the year, what else can I do?

Answer 1

You can't control everything in her life, especially not what goes on at school.  Its only natural for girls to compare theirselves to other girls in their class and you never know what some kid in the class may have told her.  Kids can be mean.  Its up to you to show how what healthy women look like, to help her get her exercise in and to help her eat healthy.  Let her know that being healthy doesnt mean being skinny and that if she exercises and eats healthy she is doing just fine.

Answer 2

Tell her she's not fat. And ask her who did tell her that. Because somebody did.  And whoever did  is just a bully.  Make sure that if a kid at school is teasing her, that you speak to the teacher.  She may be being bullied at school about her weight.  Plus, I know from experience, that girls this age are already self conscious of their weight. and girls do make rude comments to each other about it.  One of my daughter's friends spent the night and I overheard a conversation that this little girl's cousin told her. Her cousin told her she was fat.  This little girls was no where close to being over weight. Luckily the child had the sense to tell her cousin, "at least I'm healthy and not bony like you."  I was really proud of this child. The girls were in the 4th grade.  Sit down and talk to your daughter about why she's feeling this way.

Answer 3

Tell her both.  Tell her she's not fat, but encourage healthy habits.

Answer 4

Tell he she is not fat and that she's only 8 and her body is going to be changing for a while until she finishes puberty. she's too young to be worrying about her body, i didnt start feeling self-concious about mine until iwas like 14

Answer 5

wow... well you sound like you're doing a great job by  keeping your daughter active, monitoring what she watches on tv, and by telling her she's beautiful.

I don't have children- but I always thought that when I would, by keeping them active in sports- they would be happy and build confidence. But I guess you can never quite protect your children from other kids who don't have the same kind of support at home.

I was listenning to a radio show the other day that discussed weight insecurities in women, and an expert speculated that maybe general practitioners haven't been doing their jobs at emphasizing health and fitness- and healthy body weights etc. So in that vein, maybe next time you bring your daughter for her check up- let the doctor know what's going on. So that he/she can talk with your daughter about being healthy annd active- Perhaps having someone else emphasizing that she's fit and such may have more of an impact.

good luck!

Answer 6

She gets these ideas because of the other kids at school.  Ask her why she thinks her legs look fat and go from there.  Kids these days are more cruel than the past.  If she doesn't like her physical appearence because of excess weight then ask her to help you choose better food items when your grocery shopping.  Ask her for help in chosing what are good HEALTHY snacks.  Tell her you was wanting to lose a couple of pounds and ask her to be your "health" partner.

Answer 7

You might watch what your daughter watches on TV but I am sure not all of her friends at scholl has parents that do and then the group of girls get together and start talking and well then you end up with a kid that thinks they dont have the perfect body because so and so said so.  It makes you want to ask who determines what is good and bad on body image.

Anyway start by telling your daughter that she is not fat she is still growing and as she grows she will change more and more.  Let her know that most kids keep there baby fat until they hit about 11 or 12 and she is not any different than all the other 8 year olds.  When she says something about being fat tell her she is beautiful and doesnt need to change a thing.  drop the weight from it all together.  When she goes to change an outfir because it makes her look fat dont make a big deal out of it and tell her it looks fine but if she wants to change go ahead.

If you make a big deal out of it then she will as well.  My oldest is almost 16 and when she says she is going on a diet I tell her no she isnt that she is fine the way she is and if she is worried about it stay out of the chips.  She is not fat she is 5'3 and weighs about 110.

I tell all of my kids that they have to love themselves because the way they are is the way God made them and what he makes is perfect in his eyes.

Answer 8

is she being teased at school? find out what shes like at school, and if its affected her at home. you should probably take her to a counsler. sometimes little things like this go very far, and before you know it-your child is aneoricx/belimic.

Answer 9

take her for her yearly check up to the doctors, and ask him to let her know she is the perfect size for her age group.  muscle doesn't necessarily make you look thin.  if you have a lot of it, it makes your legs look bigger than a person with no muscles in their legs

Answer 10

I  have  3  grandgirls  6,7 9,  and  the two older do change  clothes  too often.  There  Mom stays  upset as  they  dont  put  them back nice.  So it  may be  partly a  new  age  thing. I  feel girls  do  start  things  earlier then age  before them,  and  there is  so much  demand on TV,  CD  songs,  magazines,   styles, to look a certain  way.  Try encouraging her with supporting  new styles,  taking photos,  encouragment of  new looks.  If  problem  worsens  try asking  councelor at  school if  this  is  common and  her/his  idea on  subject.  If  she  is  size  appropiate, then  show her  when you go  window shopping, shoe  shopping.  Its  great  shes in  sports,  that is  a  good  ego helper.  Also it  may be  there is  a  bully  saying  mean  things and  found  her  weak spot her  self  awareness of  appearance.  Bring up  a  story of  a  bully at  your  school   , even if  you have to  make it  up  and  how  you handeled it.Good  luck,  *mamatx