8yr old son.. long list of bad habits, not flushing, to not putting things back.how do I correct w/o damage?

Question

He doesnt flush after going number 2 so the bathroom smells bad. To putting the gekko lid back on the cage after he feeds it- to not picking up his clothes, or making his bed, he also is very unaware he leaves a trail of trash behind him..He knocks over my breakables, and lamps, spills shampoo, I do not over indulge him, If I followed him around the house correcting, and redirecting; i would be doing it 24 seven with every little thing, how do I get him on the right track w/o damaging his self esteeme.

.."please pick up the trash, do not stuff your papers in the sofa, please put your blankets away on your bed, please rinse out your drinking cups, dont forget to flush, mommy stepped on your legos when she had to go to the bathroom, and now has a limp.. I mean I have worked and worked with him, from consiquences, to taking away stuff. i have him on a good schedule, he is a happy kid, dad gets him evry othr wknd,, he is just so unaware!

Answer 1

Your son needs to learn, but in a positive way. Does he get pocket money? If he does then say to him, "mummy's not going to give you pocket money this week, because you've left your room a mess" If you start with small things like that and build it up, he should get the idea. If he doesn't get pocket money maybe introduce a "tidy fund", if he keeps his room tidy then give him 50p at the end of the week. etc...

As for the chain, this may be a physiological problem, e..g in the pas he may of flushed it and it overflowed. He might just be scared.

Hope this helps, Gina ~x*x~

Answer 2

First...give him a chore chart. Like clean your room,pick up trash...ect. Then give him a list called The What To Stop List. It will have all the things you want him to stop on it and when he stops doing it he gets a prize like a cookie or a trip to the toy store. I hope this helped.

-Tara

Answer 3

Make sure to praise him when he does do stuff right.  Then when you have to correct him, it is okay, because he has heard a lot of good things about himself also.  It might make him want to do stuff well too just to hear you say, 'i appeciated you flushing the toilet all day today when you used the bathroom.'  Kids do weird things for some attention!

I am always pointing out the good stuff she does, and I really see a difference after I have praised her for something, she will do a really good job next time too in order to hear praise again.

Answer 4

I'm a single mom as well.. and you could be describing my son to a T.    Though I now the cause of his behavior, his father instilled in him the idea that if he left things long enough I would clean them up.

What it took ( besides getting rid of dad).. was actually taking things away.  Things that mattered.  he broke a statue of mine, from my grandmother. Then just walked away..  So I took away his game boy.. donated it to a hospital.  He was so furious, but he became more careful with my things.  

He made a huge mess with his toys.  I asked that they be put away. he didnt.  So I ended up bagging them up and putting them outside in a locked shed.  it took a week for him to wonder where they were.

I make him Help me do the dishes.  We dont have a dish washer, but he can clear the table, get dishes from the rest of the house. and he can stand with me and dry them.  

He had chores to do, and a list on the fridge. Every week he chooses a activity to do next weekend.  IF the chores arnt compleated he doesnt get to do it.  I'm not unreasonable about it though. If there is a reason behind not doing something then its forgiven for that week.

It ment that I was litterally following him around for almost a month.  But after that he got better with it and still keeps atleast most of his things picked up ( for fear I will go again to the childrens ward with his stuff).. and he is careful with my things

Answer 5

Start in small steps. Set clean up times for his room, show him once how the room is to be put together, and every night at the same time make him clean it to how it should be.

You just have to stick to it mom, kids are stubborn. If need be make a chart. This is what time this has to be clean by. And by your standards. Put "stars" or what ever on this chart. Everytime he fails to do something take a star away, at so many stars he loses ___ item and so on. and in order to get them back he has to do those things. Make him take resposibility for keeping track.  You have to make him take resposibility for cleaning up after himself. Toys out of place, like found randomly around the house just take them away and put them in a box in your closet.

Stay strong...and once you set a rule stay to it.

Answer 6

You could whoop him, give him a time out, or ground him.