9 months pregnant and daddy problems?

Question

Im 16, 17 in 4 days. I was on bc when i con. DONT JUDGE ME PLEASE..we all know its our nature as humans to enjoy s*x and i must say i do lol ). I took 4 pregnancy tests 9 months ago all positive big fat positives.....My parents could care less what i do.......its always been that way so they know and of course them being the odd parents were happy. Ive been going to my dr apts and everything as im supose to. Im excited for Kaydence Elizabeth to be here, Due Aug 12. I have worked my butt off for everything i have for her and myself. my apartment (it is in my parents name but i pay for it) her nursery and everything we have. I finish school this year. I know who the dad is but we are not in a relationship. My problemis that he knows about the baby and wont accept her and it not only pisses me off but is stressing me out. I mean she deserves to have her daddy right? He could givve her that much right?.His family does not know either and i cant decide if i should tell them or not?

Answer 1

first off dont stress its hard enough being a teen mom with out the extra stress and as far as him he aint worth it he is making the choice to leave and you cant force him to do anything and about his family that your call in a way the have the right to know but if they are the type of people to be judgemental and say its not his and stuff than you dont really need that added stress

well keep up with what you are doing even thoe its hard and congrats dont give up

he is the one thats going to have to live with it

Answer 2

I was 18 when I had my boy now 8. His dad did not accept him or the responsibility either. His dads name is not on the birth certificate or in his life. It was hard at first, but I meat some one who has been in his life and there for him. Even though the sperm donor is not around he has gotten along fine without the donor around. It can be stressful and very hard at times, but don't worry about that sleaze being there. If he does not want to be a man then leave it be there are guys out there that will be there you just take care of that baby and yourself in the mean time don't stress it's not good. If you need someone to talk to just email me. I know how sperm donors are, I know having a dad around does help I mean if you want go after him for child support, I never did though I figured I did not need more stress in my life. When he is older and wants to know about him I will, but he has a dad. It takes a boy to make a baby, but it takes a real man to be there for the baby.Good luck I hope the best for you and the baby.

Answer 3

Not many younger people that get pregnant work as hard as you do.  You should be proud of youself for your apartment, and finishing school.  Has for the father, if he does not want to be apart of your daughters life, you cant make him.  Telling his family is up to you.  How do you think they will respond? Are they the type that will jump up and try to take custody of the baby? Will they put you through more stress because your having the baby?  They have a right to know, since it is their grandchild, but dont be heartbroken if they want nothing to do with you, and only want to see the baby.  Some where down the road you'll find a guy who will love you and your daughter as his own.  He will become her daddy, so dont think she'll grow up forever without a father figure.  And as for the BC thing, a very good friend of mine got pregnant while in BC, thats why they say its only 99.9% effective.  You should be proud that you were at least using a form of BC.  Now since your due here any day, have you thought about what last name your daughter will have? You can use your last name (which might be easier especially if you get married down the road) and still file for child support if you plan on doing that.  You dont have to give her the fathers last name to get child support.  You just have to have a paternity test (which you would have to do even if you use his last name.)

Answer 4

well once your daughter is born slap his name on the birth certificate and file for child support. then if he wants to spend time with his daughter allow him to do so. and if he doesn't want to spend time with your miracle its his loss. your dad can provide a positive male role model in her life and it will probably be better for her to learn from then an idiot he couldn't see her for being the precious child that she is!

best of luck to you!!!

Answer 5

Wow!!  You sound like a very mature young woman.  You can go to court and get child support from him.  Court may order a paternity test.  He may get joint custody of your daughter or get visitation.  Be prepared for that.  Good luck to you and may all of Kaydence's dreams come true!!

Answer 6

this all sounds too familiar i too was pregnant at your age im 34 now w/ 3, my oldest today is 16. ya know i was on my own as well had a baby supported myself moved out of my parents at a very young age to stand on my own, the great thing about that is that is shws your taking the responsibility in your own hands and proving to yourself that you can do this!! as well as for yur child and this as a single parent and mother will make yu strong. so be strong just like all of US single moms, their is alot of guys out their who dont want the responsibilty but ya know you cant change that in him , he needs to realize on his own if hes going to own up to it and if not well then thats his loss RIGHT!!!! I know this is soo hard and during this time you dont want to be alone in this, our idea as women would like to bring a child into this world in a stable relationship and happy or married,something, but if we dont have that and your already expecting and you choose to still go forward on your own well then i would say to you I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK stay close to your famiy your parents(dont ever disrespect them) your brothers or sisters because they are the ones that are going to help you thru this all maybe financially emotionally physically. and i hope you have that , you dont need the dad ive raised all 3 of my kids on my own since day one and im just fine but my family and my sisters are my biggest support group. god bless you and your child, i think youll be okay. try and be happy for you and this child because this child is all he/or she has!! no stress keep yourself busy.. oh and last but not least yes tell his family immediately, they have the right to know. an why not? maybe they will be more supportive than he is and thats what you need right now, believe me,  i hope this helped. lots of love. lucyg...

Answer 7

I suggest you do tell his family. As far as a relationship for the baby with it s father you shouldn't push it. Let it happen naturally.

Answer 8

He should really consider not being such a d**k, but unfortunately you can't force him to do anything.

Also, tell his family. They're gonna be part of her family, so they deserve to know, whether the father wants them to or not.

Answer 9

First--accept that you can not force him to react or behave the way you expect for him to do.  You must go on with your child and your life.  Don't play childish games, fussing and arguing, text messaging all that  ----just wasted time and energy because all that fussing isn't even about the baby--to be on the "real"---it's about what you want or what he wants.  His family has not direct bearing on your relationship with the baby--but if you choose to tell present it in non attcking way.     just focusing on being a good mom--- go to parenting classes that teaches you a whole lot as a new parents and making all the "unknown" easier to manage  Call United Way Dial 211  to find more resources in your area that you can tap in to your you and the little one. For food go to www.angelfoodministries.com to help save on the cost.  Talk to a family counselor to give you guidelines how to go about being a GREAT MOM and not stress on a man not ready to step up and learn now about co-parenting even if he's not stepping in. Call the state and file child support as well.  Good luck

Answer 10

Your cute haha! I think you are allready doing a great job as a single mother. I mean your own apt a nursery...how many 17 year olds do you know that have this while they are pregnant! You sound very responsible, and very strong! As for the daddy of baby Kaydence....He should grow up he chose to have s*x with you in or out of a relationship. He helped you create your precious gift of course with the help of god! He should take responsibility, allthough you shouldnt push him to much because that will make it worse. Tell his family the deserve to know that they will be grandparents! They may be disappointed in their son but in the long run it will be good for your daughter. You should tell them right away i mean your due in only a few short weeks or sooner! They have allready missed out on 9 months of her preicious life. Child support would be a good thing for you to get allthough his parents may end up paying so maybe yall could just work out an agreement of some sort. Im happy for you and its obvious that you and your family are to. I know some nights may bet lonely but your going to be a great mother. I can see it just by reading your question. You and Kaydence will have a wonderful life. I believe that if this boys parents know they will get him more involved...more than likely once she is born he will come around. Sometimes its just the shock of im going to be a dad that keeps them gone, he will someday soon realize what a beautiful daughter he has! Congrats and the best of luck to you and Your baby girl!

Oh and ps....That comment by the molley and joel mom....you go girl for telling her off. She is obviously not in a good modd or well something who knows but dont pay any attention to people like that cuz you are right your doing great and you do have a choice of what you do and dont do!

Answer 11

I'd send him a polite letter requesting that he tells his family, since they have the right to know, and your daughter has a right to family. Explain that if you don't receive a note from them in the next fortnight, you are going to tell them.

You can't force him to want his daughter, but you can remain open to him growing up and changing his mind. He's young and hasn't had the direct experience you've had, so he hasn't done that maturing. He probably doesn't know how to be a father and doesn't want to finance a child. I knew a guy in his 60's who fathered a child, told the mother he didn't want it (which is how she planned it to be, she didn't want him either) and was completely distraught when the mother wouldn't allow him to take on the father role. He wasn't expecting to feel that way, and you can't blame that on youth!

Don't stress. Accept that he might change one day, and make sure he knows he's welcome. If he does come around support him as best you can in learning to be a daddy. Allow him to make non-life threatening mistakes. Dads and Mums are different and do things differently. If he doesn't change his mind, he's not worth getting your knickers in a twist about. If your child asks one day, you just say "we were young and your dad was scared of having a baby." I think our society places too much importance on blood relationships. Other societies worry much less about that, and more on social relationships. In those places, dad is the guy who hangs around and does daddy things, no matter whether he added DNA or not.

Answer 12

first off congratulations. and that is a beautiful name. If this guy is a prick your daughter doesnt need him anyway. you will meet a man one day that will be the best daddy ever for her, even if its not her biological father. and yes, definitely let his family know about their granddaughter that will be here soon! good luck to you sweetheart.

Answer 13

Don't stress over it..will throw you into early labor..and yeah tell his parents, his as$ needs to take responsibility for what he helped make!!!

Answer 14

My dad was the same with my mum. She didn't push so I never had the opportunity to meet him. Do what you can - get his family involved. Your baby is their family too and you have every right to talk to them.

Answer 15

Telling his parents won't make him feel any more positively towards the situation. Also, you will have a difficult time as it is being a single mother, so you don't need the work involved with trying to drag him into your daughter's life when he doesn't want to be there. It would be harder on your daughter to know who her father is and even see him, yet know that he doesn't want anything to do with her. If she doesn't know him then she can dream anything she wants about him.

I recommend getting some legal advice from a free legal service about the situation. If you want to stay in control you may need him to give up his parental rights. If he is unwilling then you could ask for child support. Either way a lawyer could help you decide the best course that will have the fewest surprises down the road.

Answer 16

You should tell him that you will be telling his family. When your daughter is born you should also put his last name on your little angels birth certificate. Then after she is a little older in months take a DNA test to prove to the daddy. Whether he likes it or not he will always have to be in her life . Be it the right way or buy simply paying child support till she is 18. Let him decide. Buy doing this you are not being mean or spiteful you are being responsible and you are securing your daughter will always know who her daddy is.

Answer 17

I think you sound extremely mature for a 17 year old about to become a mum. I beleave that all kids should have their mum and dad in their lives. Have you asked him if he wants to be on the birth certificate??

If he does not want anything to do with the baby i would have a parternity test done get the results sent to him. I would not tell his family he needs to be a man and tell them himself if you tell them they may see if as you are going behind his back and trying to get revenge. You sound so strong and together. August 12th was when my little boy was born in 2005. Stay strong and remember that all kids deserve both parents but really if he doesnt want anything to do with her then i would still make him pay child support he needs to be a man but he doesnt have to have anything to do with you baby Good luck :)

Answer 18

its a shame he wont accept you but since you are pregnant and he is the father he must own up to his responsibility. yes i would let him family know they deserve to make up their own opinions and the child will be part of their family too. as for the jackass, he will HAVE TO pay child support and i suggest you pressure him for it, even if you have to do it using a lawyer. men are scumbags and usually think that they can have their fun and take off.... teach him a lesson......

Answer 19

First of all you are doing great you have your own apartment and a beautiful family that supports you.You are very blessed.This baby's father must be young they tend to act that way when they aren't mature.I think you should tell his family (s***w him for now)but let them know that you want them to be apart of your baby's life.He'll come around once the baby is born and if he still refuses to take responsibility consider taking his irresponsible *** to court Good Luck it's great that you continued your education

Answer 20

Why not tell them. They have the right to know that they are going to be grandparents. Just be ready for them to want a paternity test.

But if it does not work out where he wants to be a part of the babies life, just be the best mommy you can. Everything else in life will be ok.