9 weeks pregnant & confused...?

Question

I am preg with my 1st child I am 27 and live with my boyfriend, i want to give my child my last name, my boyfriend has his fathers last name who he has never met his father has never been a part of his life..i really don't want me and my child to have different last names and I don't see myself getting married to this man I'm not even sure our relationship is gonna last he is constantly arguing with me and he is so miserable and I am the one that's pregnant! So I told him I don't want my child to carry on his father's last name we have argued about this alot lately and I need some help...

Answer 1

He is still the father of your child and weather his father had anything to do with him or not should not be an issue...he wants his child to have his last name.  I live with my boyfriend as well.....at this point we plan on getting married but who knows.....our child will still have his last name tho.  If you give your child your last name and you get married then you will have a diff last name and your child will have a diff last name and the childs father will have a diff last name....Give the baby the fathers last name so he/she can have atleast on of the parents last name!

Answer 2

the hospital will put on the birth certificate whatever you tell them. so let this guy believe the kid has his last name he will never know.

Answer 3

Give the baby his last name.......... makes it easier to get child support!!

Answer 4

i have been there....but i also see the other side, my sister had a child with a man who never wanted one, and she wanted to give the child the last name of a different man, and she did....but yet didnt end uip with either of those men, and the child (who is now 22) has a different name then his brother and sister, mother and the man he has called dad.....and didnt understand when he was lil why he had a different name...if ur uncomfortable with it now, maybe u have good reasoning, you can always change the babies name, if u decide to get married, so i would give the child your last name....and then if u do get married, then you can change it!!!

oh yeah.....and in response to the first person who responded....the dad will know, if u have him named as the father!!!! he has to sign the birth certificate.....and the name is obviously right on top!!!!

Answer 5

Totally up to you. If you feel strongly about it, when the birth certificate gets signed put your name on it. You are only 9 weeks, and if you are already thinking about breaking up with your bf dont worry about it too much now. Who knows how you will feel in another 31 weeks.

If things get better with the BF talk to him in a few months.

Even if you break up with your boyfriend allow him to support the child and have a healthy relationship. No matter how much you dont like him at any given point try to vent to friends and not talk bad to your child about his/her dad. It's still his/her father.

congrats and good luck

EDIT: i also think the hyphenated idea is a good one. If you get married in the future, you dont necessarily have to take your husbands last name. your child also has the option of changing her/his last name in the future if they choose. (I know a girl that has changed her last name about 3 times...)

Answer 6

I think you should give the baby his last name, just because his father wasnt involved with him doesnt mean he'll do the same

Answer 7

I def. think it should have your last name. You are the mother. Do what you want. If you don't see this relationship going anywhere than who cares.

Answer 8

hyphenate the last names.. put his first and yours last.. so that way the child will have both.. my hubby has a 4yr old girl from a one night stand and her last name is her mom's only. its better to hyphenate because his little girl thinks that her mommy n him have the same last name.

Answer 9

Go with your last name! You can always change her last name if  you guys end up getting married.

Answer 10

I think it's a great idea to give your child your last name.

Especially if you really don't think this relationship will last.