9 year old son won't sleep alone. Won't sleep his bed.?

Question

My son totally freaks out when time to go to bed. He is literally scared. Starts to hyperventilate and cry. I do not know what to do. I lay with him until he falls asleep then I get in my bed. But I always wake up with him in the bed. What can I do? He says he is scared of ghosts. HELP???

Answer 1

If  he has an older brother have him sleep with youre 9 year old if not there is nothing wrong with lying down with him. I know it is frustrating but what you should not do is try to force him to sleep alone thiss is probably just a phase or it may be that hes actually afraid of something else perhaps in his subconcious at any rate youre son should be fine .. i would try weaning away a little at a time .

Answer 2

I so sympathize with you. He sounds so much like my son who is now 18 and a Marine. This may not sound popular but I would suggest you follow your pattern and stay with him until he falls asleep. If he ends up in your bed, don't sweat it This is not the worst that could happen. I would also try to work with this. Check under the bed, in the closets, all possible places for ghosts first.  Put his superhero toys in those places to protect the areas. Put garlic there too as an anti-ghost preventative. Then read some happy books and let him talk himself to sleep.  And finally see if you incentivize staying in his own bed, Like bribery, $1 every night he sleeps through in his own bed.  Most of all, help him feel safe and loved.

Answer 3

well kids are more aware of paranormal than adults..have you just moved in to a new home or renovated? I don't think he would lie unless someone is scaring him maybe at school about ghost or he has seen something on TV

Answer 4

Is being scared of ghosts the only reason he is reluctant to sleep in his room, or is there more to it ? Have a talk with him, and find out exactly why he does not want to be alone while falling asleep. Perhaps you could provide him with some sort of reassurance such as leaving his light on low or allowing him to have his bedroom door open. If he creeps into your bed at night, punish him. Nothing major of course. Think along the lines of making him miss his favorite T.V show etc.  At 9 years old, i would not worry too much about it. Chances are, he will grow out of it as he gets older.

Answer 5

You don't mention if this pattern of behavior is new, so I've got 2 suggestions:

1.  If this is new behavior, think about what has changed (move to new house, son watched scary movie, etc).  Talk with your son during the day about his fears and comfort him that about anything worrying him.  Perhaps there is something legitimate that you can help with and need to know.

2.  If your son has never really slept in his own bed all night, you need to be very disciplined.  Talk to him during the day (like the suggestion above) about his fears, but also explain to him that he is too old to sleep with you. Then you need to establish a routine with him (brushing teeth, read to him, sing, etc) but do NOT get into bed with him.  When the routine is over, lights out, and you walk out.  Keep a chair near that door, because you are going to catch him as he runs out.  Comfort him, tell him you love him, but that he needs to sleep in his own bed.  You might need to do this all night for a couple of nights, but eventually your son will fall asleep in his own bed.  The key is you must be 100% consistent and firm but loving.

Good luck!  Teaching your son how to fall asleep on his own is a very valuable lesson!

Answer 6

Tell him that ghosts can't hurt him because they are nice if you believe in them, if you don't then tell him there is no such thing...over and over, and maybe forever. Ask him where these ghosts are when it's time to go to bed. Stay up all night if you have to, and try to keep him awake as long as possible so he realizes that there are none. He wants to be near you, so maybe one night tell him you want to go ghost hunting, but since he thinks there is some in his bed, and they are there when you are not there, tell him you need him to sleep in his bed and record what goes on in his room. Even if you just fake it. It worked for my daughter. She was still edgy, but she finally got the picture. Ask him what are some changes that you can make to his room to make him less scared and more comfortable. Get something from a garage sale or thrift store that looks really neat, and tell him that it keeps ghosts away.

Answer 7

does he see you a lot maybe he just like being with you but what would i know im just a teenager