A 12 yr old hitting disabled mother?

Question

i know a 12 year old who hits his father and disabled mother (mobility problems), this worries me a lot.... he's been punished several times, they talk to him each time and explain that if he doesnt change his attitude somebody is probably gonna take it out of their hands and he's gonna end up in prison. Yet everytime he starts again. I'm very worried as my friend (the mother) has to walk with a stick and she has very poor balance as one of her leg is shorter and has other problems, basically it cant move much. I dont want her to get really injured when her son gets in a mood or something... what can be done?? please help.

Answer 1

The next time he does it, call the police and let him spend some time in jail. If this doesn't work, report it to Adult Protective Services. You can then use the previous police report for evidence.

Answer 2

talk to the social services about it

Answer 3

This is  a really hard situation.  I think sometimes children are misled by thinking disrespecting their parents is 'cool' in todays age.  The fact the parents have been able to talk to him  and punish him, says that he understands right from wrong and must listen and accpet punishment.  Trouble is, he does it again.

Try talking to him yourself?  Sometimes an outsider saying something can make all the difference.  Being 12 years old, he may listen to you and get kind of worried if he thinks someone else knows about what is happening.  Explain simply the problems his mum faces in everyday life, things that we take for granted, but being disabled how much harder it is to do things.  Let him know you are aware of what he does to both his mother and his father and also that if he doesnt change his ways, you will be left with no option to take it further, as much as you don't want to.

Tell him what he means to his mum and dad and how much they rely on him to be a good son, sometimes praising him or implying that he is sometimes a good son can make him feel he has some self worth.  Let him know how lucky he is to have a mum and dad who care enough for him get away with what he does and still love him and want him there with them.  Also stress that this will change very soon unless he changes.

It is so hard today with all the laws protecting children.  I was a great believer that a 'clip round the ear' never hurt a child.  I don't mean a hard smack, but a sharp shock as a deterrent.  As there are no deterrents anymore, from school (as the cane has been taken away, always a deterrent), from home (parents are not allowed to smack their children) or even from the police (if they even approach a child they are abused before opening their mouth) it is very hard to know how to handle this.

As the parents are your friends, speak to their son and let him know that you WILL  do something if he does not stop.

Hope this helps

:o)

Answer 4

tell someone he may be mentally disabled....if he's not punish him worse its obviously not working it can grow into bigger and worse issues.....deal with this b*****d

Answer 5

They need to ask for help for themselves. They maybe handicapped, but does this affect their ability to pick up the phone?

If they can't stop their 12 year old from hitting them, then perhaps the child needs to be taken from their custody and placed with a person whoi can handle him.

Answer 6

Honestly - someone needs to teach the little s**t some manners.

Answer 7

The mother needs to crack him with the stick.  Talking isn't enough for this kid.  He isn't getting punished, so he isn't going to care.  He needs a much harsher punishment than talking to.  Kids do not believe they are going to end up in prison anymore than they believe anything else bad will happen to them.

Answer 8

talk  to  someone

Answer 9

Often if a parent ring their local police station they will come and have a quiet chat at home with a child, which is basically to scare them, maybe your friend could do this and hopefully this will help xx

Answer 10

social services do have teams that deal with parental abuse, but to be honest its deals more with elderly parents. the parents in this case have to make the appeal to social services and to be honest they may not want to. you could have a word with your friend and let her know that help is available for her and her family.

Answer 11

Punishing him more isn't going to do any good. Perhaps he feels upset because his parents are the way they are. I know there's nothing they can do about it and it's not their fault, but even though he might be ashamed to admit he dislikes them because of how their condition effects him, he may well have feelings of anger because they limit his life. Perhaps my suggestion is completely wrong, but having a disabled parent could seriously upset the boy. Is he a child carer?

Answer 12

The 12 year old needs help. He is angry and is expressing that violently towards his parents. They seem to lack control. This will hurt his life more than their's in the long run. Youth ranches, social services or therapy are some ideas. This child needs outside help and you should tell the parents to do this before he destroys his life.

Answer 13

Talk to social services about it.

Answer 14

He needs the c**p beaten out of him!

Answer 15

i think you should tell your friend to get him some help from a therapist or a social worker

Answer 16

Tough and scary. If this is in the UK there is the parental equivalent of Childline, www.parentlineplus.org.uk, who have some very helpful knowledgeable advisors.

It may take your friend and her husband making a formal complaint to the police about him. They will need to be prepared for that eventuality.Social Services may be able to help now, rather than it getting worse before they get involved and end up taking him out of there.

Hope that helps. Good luck to you all.