A Brothers Decay...true poem?

Question

Photographs flood back as the current begins,

And I'm sailing on a ship made of burnt skin,

My body is stiff as it's been dried out for days,

Surrounded by water but I can't bare to taste...

I don't know what it is, but I know where to get it,

A feeling of happiness that I don't deserve,

But for tonight I shall spoil myself,

As I drink enough poison to learn how to feel.

I had a brother once he was my best friend,

But it's funny how God portrays the End,

He died on the sidewalk where we would play,

And the drunk driver, ******* got away,

So tell me my God, why should I believe,

It's just me and the great wide open sea,

I'm standard alone and I'm happier now,

Cause him, I cannot live without..

Answer 1

yep true as can be

Answer 2

It's a terrible tragedy that happened to your brother, as well as all that knew him. If my brother died in such a way, I would be scared for life. I can totaly relate to giving up belief in God, but not in the same dismissing way that you did. I hope you understand, as I have come to, that living without God is not that hard to do. What is hard to do, is letting go of something that once made life feel like it was better lived. And I know that faith in God, and having a brother, both give life more meaning. Truly, I don't know where I would be with out my bro, but I'm sure I'd be in a worse place, if I still believe that God was the one at fault for all the actions that take place, in this world, as a result of fate. I believe in responsibility.

     I do hope you come through your misery someday, and be filled with a deep love and honor for your brother when you think of him. Instead of that longing sensation that comes with loss. Death is just a natural process, and we all do it, but it is all so one of the most emotional battles the living have to deal with. I love this poem. Honestly spectacular. Really hit a nerve, and would have even if you had just made it up.

Keep writing, and as long as you may live never forget what your brother was and is to you.

Answer 3

I pray you heal. It`s hard for me to even know what to say, I never been through a tragedy like this.

The thing is #1 We are all going to die, we just don`t know how.

Yes, your brother death was tragic, but you and him are not alone. In today`s world death through tragedy is very much common.

I hope you learn how to deal with this loss in a positive manner.

I believe that your poetry is a good way for you " to vent."

Good Luck & don`t stop praying.

PS I pray that the murderer gets caught or that he turns his self in. Drinking until your drunk, and then driving, is a choice and he should get what he deserves.

Answer 4

True emotion, the last line isn't as strong as the rest, play aroung with it a bit. I like the ocean imagery. Try changing "burnt skin" to "burned skin" has a better flow, imo. Stay Strong.