A Gifted Child with out of control emotions?

Question

My son is extremely gifted, he has been in the enrichment program at school for 2 years now. The problem I am having is that his emotions are completely out of control. If I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do, he flies into a rage. He balls up his fists at his sides, he gets a VERY angry look on his face, stomping. I have disciplined him and still do..so don't tell me that this is my fault for lack of discipline. Also, when he's nervous or excited, he will hop up and down and kind of "flap" his hands. It was cute when he was little, but now he's 8 and I worry about him being made fun of. His emotions are VERY extreme. I want to take him to the pediatrician, but my husband is concerned they'll just "throw him on meds". I do not feel my son needs medication, just some help understanding and controlling his emotions. I am just wondering if anyone else has had this experience with a gifted child and if anyone has any ideas/support for us. No negative comments please

Answer 1

Try to find a "Alert/How does your engine run" program.  This will help him deal with his emotions and arousal levels.  This program is great for teaching self control and awareness of how he is feeling inside.  Many children who are gifted have benefitted from learning how to self modulate

http://www.alertprogram.com/

Answer 2

So he's in a gifted people program or something. maybe it's not what your son wants and that's what is causing the out of control emotions. If you take him to a phsychologist they probably won't put him on meds anyway just talk him through it. Some kids just are like that and just use it as a way to get out of doing stuff they want. And the excitement thing at 8 it won't matter maybe at 12 it could be  bad but other than that he sounds ok. Just talk to your son and make sure that both u and ur husband are spending plenty of fun time with him and talking to him alot just casually though. If you think it's a problem take him to a phsychologist and see what he/she thinks.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

It's just part of who he is.

Find a way, through doctors/behavior therapists, to deal with his emotions.

He's obviously very intelligent, and, not being big headed, so am I. I have a MENSA tested IQ of 165.

I have difficulty dealing with people, I just don't like most of them much.

I don't think he's autistic, I think he's gifted. Genius and madness are the same thing lol.

Excitement in a genius's mind can be severe, I think he just has more of everything. Part of his mind is feeling things more intensely than most people.

This is something that you all need top learn to deal with, not something to cure.

If he gets frustrated a lot, and always seems irritable, try having him do a project. He may still be bored, even with the enrichment classes.

Imagine how you'd feel stuck in a world where nothing was difficult, and you wanted to learn.

Good luck.  We may be difficult as children, teenagers, and practically all the time lol. Having an intelligent child is a good thing for everyone. Having any child is good.

Answer 4

Don't be afraid of meds, I used to be and then I finally took them. If you don't put your child on meds then he may ruin his life by getting into trouble, fights, and getting a criminal record. Some people are born with bad knees, retardation, cancer, etc. that needs treatment. So why can't they be born with an emotional problem that needs treatment?

Getting put on adderall was the best thing that ever happend to me. I used to get in trouble and couldn't focus later when classes actually got more challenging. I ended up graduating with honors in economics and biochemistry and adderall helped me tremendously.

Physicians and scientists are in business, but they are in business to help people. Just try the medication and if you don't like it then stop. You and your husband's beliefs are just that--beliefs and you should open up your minds to treatments that may be more beneficial than you know.

WIthout the drugs we developed, we would still be dying by age 30. We have advanced in science and so the scope of medication has advanced as well. If you are truly concerned then you should at least try medication for a month or so. You can always discontinue them. You don't know what it is like to be him so you have no idea what he feels and whether he needs medication or not. Let the professionals make that determination. They are here to help you. After all, I am attending medical school next year. Most doctors will be honest and candid with you about the treatment. They don't "need" to prescribe drugs that aren't necessary and they won't.

Your son seems to have ADHD and can be stabalized by adderall. Email me if you have further questions.

Answer 5

Gifted children tend to develop a superiority complex, especially those placed in the gifted classes.  This may be where the tantrums are coming from.  

As for the odd behavior, I hate to say this, but it sounds like he has a psychological problem.  I am not saying that this is your fault- it is well known that people who are gifted tend to be not entirely emotionally stable.

Seeking therapy for this might solve the issue, but there is always the chance that the therapist or doctor might discover an underlying problem and seek medicinal therapy.  

There are way around this, but unfortunately your son has to be the one to want to control his behavior.  It can be controlled without medicine or therapy (of the professional kind) but it has to be done deliberately and by him.  He has to want to correct this behavior.

That being said, he's 8.  Eight year olds rarely want to control themselves or are capable of controlling this sort of behavior.  My advice would be to seek professional help and if they try to offer medicinal therapy, ask for other alternatives.  He does not have to be put on medication, but sometimes it can really help.  Although, as far as his scholastic talents, well, they may be dimmed by the medication.  

Take him to a professional and find the root of this behavior.  You can ask on here all day long, but you will get fifty diagnoses and none of them will be from a doctor.

Answer 6

Rapid cycling bi-polar?

The hand-flapping makes me think he might be on the autism spectrum, it's a classic sign of autism, Asperger's or PDD-NOS.

If you are against meds, try taking your son to a behaviorist or BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) to determine what his triggers are for those behaviors and to get suggestions for ways to remedy the outbursts.

Karen Levine has a great book titled Replays that will probably help you a lot in these situations.

Answer 7

If he has out of control emotions, he's not very gifted.

Most parents like to think their child is more gifted than they are, it's sad really

Answer 8

Is he a little spoiled cuz he is so smart?  Try to find out why he is so angry.  or who is he angry at?  Does he do this type of behavior in school?  Does he only act out at home?  Does your family attend a church?  Do you believe in prayer?

These are questions that I  personally would look into, to try to figure my child out.  I hope it helps...:0(

Answer 9

One of the children I have babysat for the past 3 years is a "gifted child" but has a horrible temper. I think it mainly results because they're so use to be treated special by their parents and by teachers at school they forget that they are still children and still subject to the same rules and punishments of other kids their age. I grew up as a "gifted child" from 1st grade through high school and never got away with being out of control. My parents kept me in line by subjecting me to the same rules and punishments that my siblings had. I think that "gifted children" don't need to be constantly told how "special" and "gifted" they are because it causes them to think that they're better than their peers.

Answer 10

Welcome to the world of a gifted child.  They are almost all like that.  They say that even the most famous people that were considered "gifted" had mental disorders that would make them act out in strange ways.  They say it is that disorder that causes them to both be gifted and cursed at the same time.   My son is like that, he functions on a high level on many subjects and has many gifts but he has PDD/Aspergers.

Answer 11

Could be BPD

Answer 12

"Also, when he's nervous or excited, he will hop up and down and kind of "flap" his hands."  easily recognized and combined with a high IQ  are 2 symptoms i can place but bearing in mind the person i have in mind has both Classic Dyslexia(high IQ) and Dyspraxia(jumping flapping) perhaps they are both relevant as both are frequenty seen together.