A Hotel In Cornwall: Can you work out what the Guesthouse owner is saying? lol?

Question

This was taken from an actual conversation! It's written phonetiacally, and shows the extremities of the English language, and dialect.

Reading hints: You are on the phone. The other party is also in the hotel........(Try to guess before reading n! lol)

--Morny, rune sore-bees.

--Oh sorry, I thought I dialed room service.

--Rye. Rune sore-bees. Morny. Jewish to odor sunteen?

--Yes, order something. This is room thirteen-on-five. I want…

--Okay, torino-fie. Yes plea?

--I'd like some bacon and eggs.

--Ow July then?

--What?

--Aches.

--Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch…?

--Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled, please.

--Ow July thee baycome? Crease?

--Crisp will be fine.

--Okay. An Santos?

--What?

--Santos. July Santos?

--Uh…I don't know…I don't think so.

--No? Judo one toes?

--Look. I really feel bad about this, but I just don't know what

--judo-one-toes means. I'm sorry…

--Toes! Toes! Why Jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow eenlish mopping we bother?

--English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine. An

--English muffin will be fine. We bother? No. Just put the bother on the jide.

--Wad?

--I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

--Copy?

--I feel terrible about this but… Copy.

--Copy, tea, mill…

--Coffee!! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.

--One Minnie. *** rune torino-fie, strangle-aches, crease baycome, tost sy eenlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?

--Whatever you say. Okay.

--Tenjewberrymud.

--You're welcome.

Answer 1

I agree, very not Cornish.

If you want an example of dialect, read something by Irvine Welsh (I recommend Trainspotting). Most of his books are written in phonetic Scots, quite hard to understand at first but very easy once you get into it.

Answer 2

If it really was Cornish, then I would have thought that the hotel owner would have said "Bleenin' Emmetts" under his breath!  

Answer 3

It's corny... Mexican, not Cornish

Answer 4

Never call during breakfast when the other party is eating...

Answer 5

haha. omg. yes, funny little chinese man.

lmao.

u made me smile today!

:]]]

Answer 6

Geez, it sounds like my last conversation with the boss!

Answer 7

I agree that the accent looks Spanish. Possibly Central American.

Answer 8

Was the guesthouse owner asian? It doesn't sound very cornish to me. If you're going to plagiarise, at least get things right.