A Letter to Zulqarnain Haider
Zulqarnain Haider
Former/Current Pakistani Wicket-Keeper (not sure if he retired)
Somewhere near Heathrow Airport, England.
Dear Zulqarnain,
I hope you are in good health and spirit (in literal sense). I pray that you are alive when you receive my letter and hope that it manages to reach you. Don’t worry I would enclose my lovely hand written letter with the finest wax sealer.
I was lying on my newly flown-in sofa c*m bed from Italy which, by the way, also has a Television set hidden somewhere behind the velvety cushions. Anyways, I was seeing a pretty unicorn which had dollar signs all over it.
As I was getting ready to mount the unique creature, I suddenly heard faint sounds of a certain Black rapper called Jay-Z. I looked behind me and the voice became clearer and clearer and then I got a sudden jerk. It was not Jay-Z, it was my secretary who
was frantically waking me up after she got a call from Alam.
She told me to switch on the TV set and I saw the MTV breaking news that Christina Aguilera got divorced! It was beyond shocked, we gossiped about the news for a little while and then my secretary remembered why she woke me up. I switched on the local news
channel and the headlines read that you were missing from your hotel room since six in the morning.
I called the team management from my Blackberry and told them that what is this new nonsense? You are a grown up and not a little kid, you must have gone to the Gold souk to buy something for your wife. This story shouldn’t have been on all the news channels.
But then I got an alert on my Facebook profile that you have indeed decided to run away from Dubai.
My boy, as much as I was shocked with Ms. Aguilera’s divorce- your absence in the hotel room shocked me beyond belief. I felt my pulse rising, the blood rushing to my ears and a surging pain in my heart made me clutch my heart. It might seem that I am exaggerating
but I am not. You know me, I am a very down-to-earth person and do not like these dramatic antics.
Which brings me back to you Haider, why did you go all melodramatic? You met a shady character and you got scared. The man was not even speaking English for the love of God. Then why did you got so intimidated by him? You have no self-respect? You are a
Pakistani and Pakistanis are strong willed and they certainly are not like you, a scared small mouse.
You could have talked to the shady person, tried to get know him a little better. You could have taken him to an Arabic restaurant, enjoyed shisha and belly dancers. But no, you decided to run away because you feared for your life. I can’t believe how selfish
one can be.
People back home are calling you names and suggesting that you made a “big mistake”. You are being criticised for abandoning the team. And you want “some peace” in your life? How could you sleep at night when you left me all alone here? I thought I was your
friend but you betrayed me Haider, you have been unfaithful to me.
You should have called me when you were planning all this. You knew that I am also seeking asylum. I could have helped you. I could have been your PR manager and could have handled all this mess a bit more professionally. By now, you could have been raking
in the money for county cricket. And then who knows, you could have played for the England national squad as well because I could have been appointed as the England Cricket Board chairman.
I am very, very angry. If I had a heart-attack, mind you, it would be because of you.
Now, I know you must be feeling guilty about not taking me into confidence and I will be ready to forgive you if you help me to run away from here, and please try not to sketch such a dramatic escape.
I wish you well and I hope you write me back with a foolproof plan.
Regards,
The great http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Ijaz-Butt-c64128
http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Pakistan-c755 Cricket Board (PCB) Chairman
Lahore, Pakistan.
(The writer’s opinion does not reflect bettor.com’s official editorial policy)
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