A Man I sponsor in A.A. confessed to me he did a hit and run where someone died, should I turn him in ?

Question

A man I sponsor in A.A. told me he accidently ran someone over while he was drunk driving. To verify his story he showed me some newsclippings related to the accident. The person who was killed was also quite drunk and was crossing the street in the middle of the block (Not in the crosswalk)

My Sponsee now has just over 1 year clean and sober and seems to be doing a solid program of recovery. I advised him that if he wanted to achieve long term sobriety, he would have to turn himself in to authorities and clean this mess up. He told me that if fate would have him held accountable for this lost life , then so be it, but he would not voluntarily turn himself in. Now I feel guilty because I swore an oath of confidentiality regarding this matter and my sponsee seems content to just let things continue as they are. I wish I never got myself into this mess. What do I do ?

Answer 1

Bring him to the courthouse, and tell the officers there that he wants to confess for a hit and run he committed on _____ killing _____.  I doubt he will get anything against him if he is worried about that since he has checked himself into AA and is doing better "1 year clean and sober"...so he should come clean.  It's not like he SHOULD like answerer number 1, because they were both at faults him driving drunk, and the otehr for being drunk and walking in the middle of the road.

Talk to a lawyer and the court, and write to the judge.  State you ahve a friend who was involved in a hit and run _____ and both parties were at fault and drunk.  And ask advice from all of them, and don't forget to tell them he is 1 year clean and on a solid recovery from alcohol.

Answer 2

the only right thing to do is turn him in. He killed someone. that can't be confidential.  

Answer 3

Keep quiet, unless questioned by the police. You do not know enough to go to the police.

Answer 4

h**l yes turn him in, he needs to pay for what he did.

Answer 5

Turn him in. I understand you took an oath, but I bet you didn't think that meant holding a crime secret. What would you want if it were your family member that was a hit and run victim?  

Answer 6

I think you should tell, but prepare to get kicked out of AA for violating confidentialty. You won't get sued or anything as long as you didn't sign anything promising not to tell, even then that probably wouldn't hold up.

In the meantime, I would try to get as much information as you possibly can about what he did and everything. I really would press him to turn himself in, maybe even going so far as to say if he doesn't within 1 month, you'll do it for him, and let the chips fall where they may.

Answer 7

Nag on him. The right thing for him to do would be to turn himself in. It would give the family some semblance of finality for the death of the person. The authorities would be lenient on him for his honesty and his wanting to turn his life around. Fate is in his own hands, and he hasn't received any punishment for taking a life. If his wife, daughter, sister or someone else close to him were to be killed by a hit-and-run, he'd want that person to come to justice. Keep telling him to do the same thing. If, after a month, he still persists, your oath means nothing legally, unless you're a doctor or a priest. He should be brought to justice, and it's your social responsibility to make that happen, with the preferable method of him turning himself in.

Answer 8

I think you should ask your AA Sponsor for guidance.  That person has an oath of confidentiality too, and will have another perspective for you, and may be able to guide you in what is right to do.

Good luck!