A POEM i wrote about my mum who died recently from lung cancer, can u comment on it please?

Question

When i close my eyes

Im thinking of you

You enter my mind

And the memories flood through

Slight of build

Soft blow away hair

20 silk cut purple

Sitting in the kitchen on your chair

Phone on the table

Club orange in a glass

Handbag in front of you

These memories dont pass

Sitting & waiting

For a visit or call

How you filled up our lives

For someone so small

On passing you by

You'd throw me a smile

I'd sit down opposite

With you for a while

You talk of your day

And where you have been

Of a nurse or a doctor

That you had seen

Yet you never forget

To ask about me

Of how i am feeling

And my family

Dont realize what you have

'Till its lost or gone

But in my heart & my mind

You will always live on

Answer 1

Firstly I am so sorry about the loss of your Mother whom you clearly loved and miss dearly. It is a beautiful poem and writing is very cathartic, so keep it up. x

Answer 2

thats amazing sweetie, its really, really good

xx

Answer 3

You clearly loved your Mum.  I am sorry for your loss.  She'd love your poem I'm sure..

Answer 4

What is it exactly you are looking for here Sean? I have commented on this poem twice before and I have expressed my sympathy to you and your family. Is there something else you want? Give us another poem , would that be easier?

Answer 5

Nice Poem

My mom just passed away from the same illness.  And there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her.

Sorry for you loss :(

Answer 6

well it made me cry lol yes its very touching

Answer 7

That is a very beautiful and moving poem. I'm very sorry for your loss xx

Answer 8

that is a lovely poem ya mum would be proud

Answer 9

First of all, I am sdory sorry about your mom, as for your poem, as a technical thing, it is well flawless, well flowed, easy to read emotional imagery, and fanstastic shocking emotion, well done, I am crying by he way, really well done.

Answer 10

First, I am sorry for your loss.

Second, I think actual comments on its style, construction, etc, would do nothing but increase your grief.

Suffice it to say, I think this poem is deeply personal and probably means quite a bit to you. I wish you well.

Answer 11

keep writing !!!      thats great -  its one of the best psychological excersizes you can do - its like a valve to open up - it helped me in a similar situation.

The pain never goes, but poetry helps you cope with it.

And dont forget to show your relatives it will help them too

Bravo

Answer 12

That's a beautiful poem written with real love and remembrance. Wherever your Mum is now I bet she's smiling.

It brought a lump to my throat.  :)

Answer 13

Love it.

I write poems about my feelings and when I am sad.

Its good.

Answer 14

lost my old man to lung cancer and know what your going through and that poem is excellent ,well done.

Answer 15

Thats soo nice!

You should frame it and put it in her room, im sure she'll come and see it...

You have a great mind and are a good poet, im sure she'll be proud.

I hope your ok.

Answer 16

That is really good.  Your mom would be really proud and happy that you wrote that for her.

Answer 17

im not crying; there's something in my eye. i swear.

Answer 18

It's a beautiful poem and I'm sorry your mum has gone; I lost my mum a few years ago and I still miss her.

Keep writing your poems - it will help.