A Question About Having TWO KIDS?

Question

I was just wondering was it scary for anyone to have another baby after their first this is my dilemma ok I know I want to have more than one child and I know I want them to be about three years apart which means I would have to start trying now, but I am so nervous but excited I mean the nervous part what if my daughter is so jeolous and that she hates having a little brother or sister I am so afraid of how she is going to act I guess I dont want her to feel like I am replacing her you know? But I am so excited we get to try and have another bunndle of joy and go through the whole pregnancy thing again all the appoinments and ultrasounds andthe nwe get to bring this little bunddle home I'm just so nervous and excited anyway I'm blabbering I was just wondering what others have went through when they decided to have another baby and then what did their other child think when you brought it home?

Answer 1

i worried about having another baby and being able to love it as much as i did my son...there is five years between them..i had her and it was love at first sight she was a great baby..he loved her...used to blow bubbles on her belly till she squealed with laughter...and she would pee..he could feel it on her diaper..she still does this at 12 if you get her to laughing hard..she will pee you have to tell her to go to the bathroom..its kinda funny...but he loved her...he wanted to hold her and play with her and she called him guy at 2 years old she named him..and he answered to it..which was funny..it was my guy this my guy that..his name is matthew so why guy..we still dont know...i called him within minutes of having her so that he knew he had a sister..he was at the hospital that night holding and loving on her..she never interferred with his life..she was an addition..and has always been..they fight more now at 12 and 17 than they ever did before..and i guess its because he has his own thoughts and picks picks at her...

Answer 2

Well were do i start i have 2 daughters with 3 1/2 yrs apart and i wondered the same as you, and the turth is that my two girls love each over , but there has been times were they fight like cat and dog and when i bought my 2nd daughter home my other daughter who was 3 1/2 at the time just wanted to be beside her 24/7 and use to wake her up all the time cause she wanted to play with her.

But really my girls aren't bored at all always has someone to play with and they are the best of friends.

But me saying that they can fight too the youngest now beats up my oldest and i always say see i told you she would get you back some day. they are 6 almost 7 and my other daughter in 3 and i love them dearly and i know at the end of the day they will always have eachover and nothing can bet the relationship between 2 sisters ..

Answer 3

i was so worried about my daughters reaction as i had her when i was young and it was just me and her for a long time so she got alot of attention, when i told her we brought her a doll 'her own baby' and i found her copying me, i make sure i spend time with both my kids on there own for atleast an hour a day and my partner does something with the other 1, my kids get on very well and they dont argue that much and are practically joined at the hip now, when i brought  my son home my daughter used to help by getting nappies and easy things like that and used to love helping bath him, just let her be the big sister and feel like shes helping it will seem like shes in the way but it actually really helped me when i have him kicking away on the floor and the baby wipes have miraculously disappearedd she can go get me some

good luck

Answer 4

Your little girl might not like it at first, but with time she will LOVE her little bro or sis as much as you had ever hoped. Might take some time, or she might love the idea. There is only one way to know.

Answer 5

I really didnt get worried about wanting #2, I knew i wanted to have them close in age and on my sons 1st birthday i found out i was pregnant again!

I found that even though he was young an wouldn't be able to fully understand i explained to my son that mummy was going to get a big fat tummy because there was another baby just like him in my tummy and when the baby was big enough to come out he would get to cuddle the baby an be a big brother.

Also at bedtime when we were having a cuddle before he went to bed i would get him to put his head on my belly an say goodnight baby an kiss my belly.

And when baby was kicking i would show him my tummy and say look your sister is awake an he would sit talking to her while she was kicking, He never got jealous after she was born although he did get a little confused as she was 8 weeks early an in NICU so he didn't get the little sister to cuddle, but there was no baby in mums tummy anymore.

Once she came home he was really exited an doted on her, he used to stand on a chair next to me while i bathed her an help me clean her toes lol was so cute!

Aslong as you use the 9 months to prepare her an let her know there is another baby coming she should adjust well...tell her things like your going to be a big sister and you get to be mummys big helper, let her do things like grab the nappies for you or get you a washer she will feel needed and like she is a big girl for helping you!

Good Luck.

Answer 6

My daughters are 3 years and 8 days apart!

I was nervous too.  What if I couldnt love another child as much as I loved my daughter?  Would my daughter feel jeaous, replaced, bitter?  Would it be too hard to take care of 2 kids?  How did people find the time?

It all works out!  Read special books about being a big sister to your daughter.  Play with baby dolls with her.  Compliment her on what a good job she does.  Show her the way you hold a baby.  Be really really positive!  Dont do or say anything that would make her think of a baby in a negative way.  Make sure that she knows how special she is and everything.

When we brought baby Charlotte home, my 3 year old Brooklyn was instantly in love!  Its like she knows how to love her baby sister, because of the way that WE love HER.  She hugs her, gently strokes her skin, calls her adorable little pet names that she makes up, and loves to help out.  If her sister fusses, she is instantly by her side gently touching her and softly talking to her.  Its so great to see all the love we've poured into Brooklyn, being poured in turn to her little sister!  We make sure to have special time with Brooklyn every day while the baby is sleeping.  We tell her what a good big sister she is, and we always praise her when she is sweet and kind.  Try to stay positive in front of your little one.  Be aware of the things you say.  If you say something like "Mommy cant play with you, I'm too tired from being up all night with the baby"  your daughter may blame the baby and be angry, know what I mean?  Charlotte is 3 months old now, and Brooklyn still totally adores her more than I EVER would have thought a 3 year old was capable of!!!  I'm sure they will butt heads sometimes as they get older, but that is normal.  Your daughter will know how to treat the baby, based on how she sees you and your husband treat eachother, her, and other people.  Make sure she sees lots of kindness, and never fighting.  Dont want her to act out any anger on the baby!  

Oh, and PS: If you ever worry that you love your daughter SO much that your heart may not have enough room for another... as soon as your baby is born, your heart grows twice as big, and there is even more love inside you than you ever thought possible

I'd love to have you in my online group for moms.  Check it out =)  http://wwwlilaguide.com/groups/momsofmun...

Answer 7

My eldest (has aspergers-which made it more difficult) did NOT want me to have more children. She was very jealous and hit her baby sister  in the crib, when no one was looking. (we heard the slap and then the baby cry) We had to work hard to make her feel extra loved and that she was special, the 'eldest', the 'first' and no one could take that from her..ie she was the 'big' sister, that we all looked up too.

She became very bossy (in a sweet way) and guarded her siblings. There is 3 years between her and her brother, and then 4 years between her and her sister. She was much more jealous of the baby sister, than the baby brother.

If you go on to have more, involve the older child from word go. Tell them how important they are. big up their place as older child. Don't give in to tantrums. Give them one on one time (all kids need that)

My eldest is now 25, she still says, she wanted to be an only child, to have ALL the attention, ALL of the money spent on her. To be the only one. She recognises that it's a selfish feeling, but it's the way she feels. Personally I think, she's better off, having siblings. Her grandparents spoilt her so much, it would not have done her good. She is still jealous of her sister, over the silliest of things.

The other two siblings, never had a problem with rivalry, and adored each other.

Answer 8

i have 2 boys that are a little over 3 yrs apart.  i was so scared and nervous and happy to have another one but was also a little sad for my older son.  he was the center of attention and used to having mommy and daddy to himself, and with a new one around  i was scared he would feel left out.  i wouldn't in any way leave him out  but was worried he felt that way.  but everything was fine,  he loved every second of my pregnancy.  we took him to the ultrasounds and got one of those  headset things that you can listen to the heartbeat with, and he listen to it alot, he helped fix up the room and fold all the new clothes for his little brother and when the time came and his baby brother was born, my hubby brought him to the delivery room (after the birth)  and helped older brother carry baby to the nursery.  we just made sure he had a hand in even the simplest things and that he knew no matter how many children we had  that our love for him would continue to grow and never stop.    now they are 3 and 6   and yes they fight all the time and are so rowdy that i think they will eventually one day tear my house down,  but they couldn't live without each other.  when i catch them hugging each other  or laying on the couch watching cartoons together with their arms around each other for a split second before one of them pinches the other  i know i made the right choice.