A Question to couples who have been married to each other for a long time (25+ years)?

Question

I am in love with my hubby and he is with me... neither one of us has cheated on the other, We have a very satisfing s*x life, our kids are grown, moved on and have their own lives. We are reasonably secure financially. So why does there feel like there is something missing for me? He says he doesn't feel this way and is very happy with things like they are. I have made a lot of changes to my life in the last two years.... all of them have helped and I feel better than I did then but I still feel like some piece is missing. Why do I feel this way and what can I do to feel better?

My life is fulfilling and good. Where is this restlessness coming from? I am 51. What steps can I take to find out why I feel like I do? I do not want to destroy what I have... just make the changes that I need to to make my life happier. Does any of this make any sense to anyone out there?

Answer 1

The empty nest syndrome. People often think that the empty nest syndrome means that you miss your kids and that IS a part of it but the bigger part is that now they are gone and the activity that they used to create no longer hides the problems between you/him.  Suddenly it is very obvious that something is missing/broken.  This is the point where people have to decide to recommit and fix it or start over with someone new.  Often it is easier to divorce and start over but that is really unfair to the spouse.  The primary relationship in our lives should be our spouse since children are supposed to grow up and leave. But the spouse is supposedly for life and yet at this point people often discard their spouse since they no longer need them to get the kids raised and the house /bills paid for.  It's easier to start over with someone new since there are no problems/scars with a new person.  This is the point when we find out if we are a decent person or a user.  

Answer 2

I was not married for 25 years but I was with the same woman for 12 years and raised 3 kids before we split.

I can only go from my own experience/ perspective, but I think you need to re-focus your life. I suggest taking a vacation that involves separation from everyday creature comforts and to an extent deprives you of what you consider necessities. This will seem far out but I suggest trying something like what Thoreau did back in the day or an equivalent that will fit you personally.

It seems as if you have a good relationship with your man so try asking him for some time away (not permission- agreement). Then, just leave for a couple of weeks, or months, and try to find that which you feel you are missing. Most likely, though, you will find that you have everything you want and need right back where you came from.  

Answer 3

The suggestion that i can give to you is the fact that humans are never satisfied especially mothers who are older you have probably always felt the need to care and take care of people. and always had something going on in your life.. It may not be that something is missing in your relationship it could be that you personally need something else to do, you have raised children been what i would understand as a loving wife n mother maybe you should take up a hobbies or see some family or even take some time away with him to see what love you have for each other it could just be that you need reassurance from him and have you told him how you feel and that you need the reassurance of his love it is hard to say that but it might be inned

I have been with mine for 7 1/2 yrs

Answer 4

It is your Heart whispering to you. All people feel this but most are taught that man/womankind have fallen and are sinners, but that is not the case it is the Goddess within you calling you home, calling to herself that has been lost. The Goddess calls with love for love is her power. Do the things you love. : )

PS. I have not been married 25 yrs but know the feeling well and know the solution.

Answer 5

Jesus is the answer

Answer 6

yes its common you are okay with these thoughts.  People like to call it in men mid life crisis's but really what it is starting your second life.  so relax and what i do is say to myself what do i want to do right now,  in other words if i could do anything in the world what would it be.  ask yourself that that will help you find what's missing.