A bit of a dark haiku. Do you like it?

Question

Deep crimson blossoms

dripping off of the tree like blood

staining the ground red.

It still needs a title, and I am open for suggestions.

Answer 1

It is pretty dark, but very lovely in it's own way! Hmm.. a name, I'm not very good at that, but perhaps.. "Red lush"? Since it mentions red and blood, mostly? Or how about "Scarlet melody"? Something along a poetic sounding title, where you wouldn't really understand unless you read it maybe

Answer 2

It's a Senryu, and I loved the first one!! Brilliant. It reminded me of a song by Billie Holiday, called Strange Fruit.

I wouldn't change a thing!!

Much love always,

Temari

Answer 3

well..i realy like it on one way. but in school (in this grade, few last lessons) i learned that haiku doesn't have a title (a name)

lol and i think so.

get ridd of thoese dark haikus, be a happy person with happy haikus

XD

Answer 4

I never knew how to take a haiku... may I be honest? This comes from someone who once wrote all about blood and I still go back to it... but worsts such as crimson, dripping, blood, red, staining and the like have been so overused in some cases... For a short poem like a haiku I would suggest finding more unique words and concepts. You can still write about blood, I see nothing wrong with that but find newer words to use... I have been trying to do the same... I have been searching for new ways of expression. None of this is to be mean, I want to help you out and remember that this is my simple opinion, not law... others may have a different take on it... I know you have talent and creativity, i have seen it before... this is just not my favorite of your poems because it fades into all the others like it. I know you are more of an individual then this particular work displays... Hope I have not offended, my only wish is to help...

Blessed Be, Siren

Edit; I think the last one is beautiful... something about it rings out with subtlety. Yes, that one is better... the grievous wounds, I am not sure... I like the first one better actually. But again, the one on the bottom is really great. I like it a lot... you take what other people say, don't let it rule you but do not throw all suggestions away... let it shape you. Take a little and leave a little... you will grow because of it!