A close friend of mine needs my help..I turned her down and she's not answering my calls.Is my decision right?

Question

A close friend of mine needs my help..I turned her down and she's not answering my calls.She told me she's two months pregnant and I was a bit shocked because she's still studying and is currently in the last semester in college. I asked her who the father is..she said nothing. I asked her if her parents knew..she started to cry. She told me that her boyfriend doesn't want the baby and broke up with her a week ago when she told him. She doesn't want to get pregnant but now she is and she wants to terminate the pregnancy. She wants me to help her to abort the baby or to find an abortionist. I said i would like to help her in telling her parents..that i will help her during the course of the pregnancy but i can't and surely will not help her abort the baby nor find an abortionist for her. I'm a nurse and it's against our code of ethics..besides I love babies..I value life most that I chose to become a nurse. She asked me not to tell her parents until she comes up with a decision...so i waited but she starts to avoid me and she's not answering my calls..I'm worried about her. When I got the chance to talk to her, she told me she has no plans for the baby yet...and that we're not friends anymore.I haven't seen her since that day. Even if she told me that our friendship is over..in my heart she is still my friend.

Answer 1

Your friend is going through a tough time and probably feels like everyone is against her. She can't talk to her parents and her boyfriend left her, now she probably feels like you abandoned her as well. While I could never have an abortion, I do not ever want it to be a world where a woman couldn't have one if she needed it- no more wire hangers in back alleys! You however, can't go against your code of ethics, but she is your friend. Don't give up on her, she needs you now more than ever. If she wants to get an abortion fully support her, tell her you'll drive her, whatever she needs, and keep her secret. It isn't your place to talk to her parents or anyone else. Tell her your sorry you turned your back on her and do whatever you can to help her.

Answer 2

It's so hard when you have a friend who wants to do something wrong and you want to stop her.  I agree that you did the right thing in refusing to help her get an abortion.  Since she's in college, there are services available to her that will help her.  Continue to be there for her if she calls you or sees you again.  You could also send her a "I'm thinking of you" card just to let her know that you still care for her.

Answer 3

Even though I am against abortions also, but afterall it's her decision.

It's her body, if she wants an abortion, all you can do is support her.

She did over re-act, just because she doesn't agree with you, doesn't mean she should end the friendship. That's really immature. If I were you, i would show up at her house, instead of calling 24/7, cause shes obviously isn't picking up cause she knows it's you.

So go to her house, and as soon as she answers the door, say "I'm sorry, if i said anything to upset you. But you are my friend, and i dont wanna lose you over something so silly. If you want the abortion, i'll be there for you every step of the way."

When you pick best answer please tell me what happened! Or what you plan on doing.

Good luck hun.

xo

Answer 4

You cannot, and I'm sure won't, compromise your values but you need to let her know, by written word and short messages left on her answering machine, that you are concerned about her indecisiveness and lack of plans - sign off on each with part B of the final comment in your question/statement.

I'm very surprised that a friendship developed without you discussing this most important issue.  I have, only, one friend who is pro-abortion but, as she's 84, it's a service she'll not require so it's not something to stand in the way of our relationship.  I feel that being in favour of abortion is such a basic moral issue it colours other viewpoints held by those who support this, to my way of thinking, unethical practice.