# Mick visits his local brothel and is shocked when his best friends wife is in the foyer waiting for customers. He rushes back out and down to the pub to see his mate Seamus and exclaimed "I just seen your wife down the knocker shop--she's a prostitute!" Seamus replies†Na your wrong mate she just works weekends--she's a substitute!"
# Judy, the blonde, runs crying into the office.
"What's wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol.
"It's my boyfriend." gushes Judy. "He was working on the engine under the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off a finger!"
"My god", shrieks Carol. "Did it amputate his WHOLE finger!?"
"No thank goodness" sniffs Judy. "But it was the one just next to it!"
Tags: