A couple of wee jokes...

Question

a man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.

the barman asks" what its name"

"tiny" he replies

"why" the barman asks.

because" its my newt".

nun goes up to the mother superior and tells her.

"i am pregnant"

mother superior gives her a lemon to suck

the nun asks "will it help"

mother superior replies "no,but it will take that smile of your face"

Answer 1

ha! ha!!! NOT!! NOT FUNNY, DUDE!!  

Answer 2

love it! have a star

Answer 3

lol i like the second one

Answer 4

You're a breath of fresh air Mr Struth.

God bless you and all your loved ones.

Answer 5

LOL good ones,

Answer 6

OOOLLLLDDDD!

U need some like:

Never Argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides

to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to

take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads a

book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the

woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a

book,' she replies, (thinking - 'Isn't it obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer,

but I'm not fishing. I'm reading,' she replies. To which he replies, 'Yes,

but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any

moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'For reading a book?,'

she replies. 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I am not fishing. I am reading,' she replies,

again. Again he says, 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know

you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the

woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden. And she

replies, 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you

could start at any moment.' 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.  



MORAL OF THE STORY

Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Send this to at least four women who are thinkers. Girls, if you receive

this, you know you're intelligent

Answer 7

Good to see you back Struthie pal. You have been missed and I hope you're laddie is feeling a lot better.

That Rangers team you support are doing nothing to help your plight mate. Will they be calling for Walters head before Christmas? Hehehehehe!!!!!

Answer 8

dude you suuuuuuuuucccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Answer 9

not bad

Answer 10

I like the 2nd one - Thanks for the laugh!

Answer 11

ha ha very good

Answer 12

lol very very funny.

Answer 13

haha very good jokes really like them!!

ok heres 1

what do you call two robbers???

a pair of knickers!!!hahahaha

do you like it??lol!!

Answer 14

2nd is a good un hahaha

it's nice to hear things are getting back to normal with home issues banter away