A dark poem, enjoy!?

Question

FALLEN

I am fallen, woe upon the world

For I am neither good nor evil

I keep no love nor do I hate

Have no passion to move me

Nor empathy to help

My heart is not warm

It is cold as stone

Solid and immobile to suffering

Though once known I wander alone

A pariah, cursed, empty

For those who draw close to me

I am a sink that draws them down

Their love is drained from them

Joy is sapped and happiness lost to darkness

and Hope, the last anchor, withers

Till remorse and hollowness are all that live

Sadly, I know it not for I am blind

Touching without feeling

Void of conscience

With darkened eyes I seek and cannot see

With dull ears I am ignorant of song

A sotted mind incapable of reason

I step to move but make no way

For time has ended

Satan has claimed his prize

Steven Brooks 7/11/2008

Answer 1

Interesting! it gave me chills

Answer 2

satan has claimed his prize.....very cool

overall very dark imagery and a good sense of what you were feeling when you wrote this... I like it alot

Check one of mine out if you have a chance

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Answer 3

have you ever read the book a wrinkle in time? you sounded like someone that had been taken by 'IT'.... VERY good poem... you made me think of you as a black vacuum... no light at all... no substance.........

Answer 4

With how well written the first stanza was, I believed the rest would also be as well written.  But no.  There are many contradictory terms used in this poem that make no sense and are the reason I don't care for it.  If you're 'neither good nor evil', then why do you drain all of the love and sap all the joy?  Also, if you're not evil, why does the devil want you?  The first and last stanza are great and gave me chills.  Eliminate the second stanza or rewrite it.

Answer 5

awesome! i loved it:)

Answer 6

that is a beatiful poem its very close to home ive felt that way along time