A disturbing sight at my daughter's daycare resulted in a conference with the worker in question.......?

Question

I did not file an official complaint after seeing a care provider slam her hand down on the counter and yell at my daugter. I opted to have a talk about it.

Yesterday, I discussed the incident with her and her supervisor. She had called her supervisor the night before to tell her "what happened."

Basically, she tried every avenue of escape, but I caught her every time. She was disrespectful, condecending, immature and reactionary during the talk. She was making faces and tried to say that I was very angry upon seeing her behavior. Another worker attested to the exaggeration too.

This didn't work and in the end it was apparent that she was angry and directed it at my daughter. Only when she was cornered did she own up to "loosing it."

I am seriously considering taking my daughter out of that daycare bc of that person. She and the supervisor have worked together many years and I think she was interested in freeing her friend from blame. What would you do?

Answer 1

I would write a report to whatever state agency that handled child care and find another daycare for my precious little snowflake.

Answer 2

If you really cared that much about your daughter, she wouldn't be in day care in the first place.  I can't tell you the unspeakable trauma I suffered as a little boy growing up in day care.  Honestly -- why do people have kids if they are not interested in taking care of them?  And, please, don't tell me about how you have no other choice -- that's a cop out I simply can't tolerate hearing even one more time.  If you want your daughter raised the way you would do it -- then you should probably be doing it.  Where's Dr. Laura when you need her?

Answer 3

I don't know, to me these people are supposed to be "professionals" and handling or responding to a child that way is not professional.  My daughter would not be going back if I were in your shoes, and the worst part is, this "person" may have ruined your trust in other daycare providers as well.....

Answer 4

I would get my child the h**l out of that place.  Any person with a temper like that should NOT be entrusted to care for children.  She should be fired or at least disciplined.  The fact that the daycare is not taking any action against her speaks volumes about their priorities.

Answer 5

You are going to have to take your daughter out of the daycare. If you had the feeling that the supervisor was siding with the worker and another (probably a friend as well) educator siding with her-leave.

I studied to be a teacher and later on as ECE educator. I chose to work in a daycare setting because I like to nurture babies and children. I have patience for them and treat them as I would with my own.The educator that did that to your child isn't patient and has no bussiness to be taking care of any child. Both educators were wrong. It is never acceptable to ever scream or yell at a child. It's never OK to slam your hand on tables, walls or anything else. Never.

You can warn them warnings like "Please don't touch the paste" and if they continue, you go to them and take them  by the hand and lead them to the reading area(usually because it is the most quiet) and explain to them their behaviour was wrong. Usually, kids as young as 1.6 year understand that. If that doesn't work, you give them time to think of what they did at the table until they cool off (some kids might throw tantrums)

If it was my child in this situation, I would leave the daycare since the incident.If she was capable of doing that to your child in front of you, can you imagine what is capable of doing where she is alone?Now especially, I would leave, because now the educator has something against you and therefore your daugther. She might be harsher on her and stuff.I am not saying she is going to hurt her, but might be more short-tempered, side with other kids , that kind of thing. Also you are probably being talked about at the daycare,never a pleasant thing.

I live in Quebec, so there is a structured system here where all the public daycares are the care of the government and you can file complaints about the given daycare.Maybe it works the same way at your state.

Good luck .

Answer 6

if i was in the situation, my daughter would have been pulled out that very day. i would not tolerate people acting that way towards my child. not only that but  i would have complained just as you did and i would have made an even bigger scene. that is your child so you have to right to react at anything that happens to them. it is your job as a parent to make sure this problem is rectifyed correctly

Answer 7

Ok honestly, this is coming from someone whom works with children on a daily basis, with summer camps and day care. This does happen and even more than you expect. I dont blame you for being angry or upset at the situation cause i still do when my child gets yelled at but the thing is, if your child is a toddler or preschool, sometimes the loud noise and then a louder shout startles the child just enough for you to then talk to them. There is one child at my job that does repeated things that are unexceptable and then the only way we can seem to get through to the toddler is this technique. This particular daycare worker may not have used the technique correctly. I am very sorry for you issue though, because it is very upset when this happens. Every daycare worker does however loose it, especially at work. The children can get under your skin, even to the most laid back person. Most day care providers will only write up or just talk to the personel involved giving them a warning. If you feel uncomfortable with the situation, you should remove your child, because you need to feel safe that your child is happy and safe there too. I hope this helps and I again am sorry for this issue, I have had to deal with this for my past employees before.

Answer 8

my daughter would never go back.

Answer 9

i would take her out of there ASAP! if she did it once she'll probably do it again, and who knows it could be worse then the first time. also, because of what happened with you and her, she'll most likely treat your daughter differently now. if they think its OK to treat a child in such a way, they don't deserve to have the work. i would also maybe mention what happened to any of the other moms that you may know that take their kids there. if they do it to one child chances are they lose it with all of the children.

Answer 10

Take your daughter to a different daycare, once you loose all the confidence in the person who is supposed to take care of you child....there is no way you can trust them again. And believe me....it will be one incident to another. The drama will escalate.