A friend has asked me to go with him to support him at his first?

Question

alcoholic anonymous meeting tonight.....I am really hesitant - NOT that I don't want to support him - BUT it just seems like that might be intruding on others.....

What are your thoughts suggestions?

Answer 1

Hello Tab.

I your friend has asked, and he really is a friend, then go. Don't worry about anything else.

Supporting our friends is was friendship is all about.

Answer 2

You would not be intruding. AA welcomes everyone and encourages friends and family to visit meetings. By all means, go.

Answer 3

Tab, I may not be the right person to answer this question but, here are my thoughts.

AA has a 30% success rate.  If AA were a new investigational drug and the drug company reported only a 30% success rate, the FDA would not approve it as a treatment.  While I cheer your friend for seeking help and you for being there for him I wish this country would instead treat alcoholism differently.  It makes more sense to me for the patient to learn how to drink safely rather than label them and making them feel so bad about themselves in order to get better.

Now to better answer you question, just be completely honest to the group and ask them if it is ok with them that you participate.  If they have an issue with you there your friend may have to go without you.  Prepare him for this possiblity ahead of time.  Your friend not being completly honest with the group from the begining is not a good way to begin treatment.

Answer 4

Me, i'd have to go with him, he's doing something to help himself and wants support...dont desert a friend in need...help him out dude!  Best of Luck!

Answer 5

The best thing you could do is support him no matter what, if he says he needs you then be there for him, thats what friends are for am I right.

Answer 6

If your friend needs your support than I'd grant him that much. Maybe the "host" of the meeting won't allow you to sit in on the session since you don't need the service.

Answer 7

Go and see what they do and see your friend discussing his problems

Answer 8

If he needs support then go that is just being a good friend who cares about what others think!!!! Tell them that you are addicted to helping your friend with his addiction!!!!

Answer 9

i think you should go to support him you know help him through this aggresive time.and don't worry about the others

i've done this before man don't worry.

Answer 10

Would you like it if your friend was arrested for a DUI would you like to go bail him out in the middle of the night, Would you like to see him go to jail for having a wreck and killing some one. How would you feel if he was killed because he had to much to drink.

It is a couple of hours out of your life and it is no fun, I have done it for several people, That is what friends do when they care about someone. If there is a problem they will tell you, some meetings are for members only but it is stated most are open to one and all. Get a "where and when" or "when and where" listing for your area. National AA has a site to list most locals in the

USA. If you remotely care about this person . He has to do it him self but you can encourage him all the time, go to ONE meeting You could most likely leave once your friend is comfortable. Encourage them to get a sponsor first thing.

Good Luck to both of you, Alcohol can be a problem to all if it is out of control. Be a Friend

I think that there is a group called alanon or something like that to help support family and friends of people with alcohol problems

Answer 11

Well, you should go since it may help him open up to the members at the meeting. This could be helpful to him and maybe get him off alcohol!! Hope this helps!

Answer 12

if a friend asks you for help then you help them. they also being people to support them to.

Answer 13

I would say drive him there, drop him off, and pick him up. show him support while not being intrusive on the meeting itself. I don't think AA allows people to just sit in on meetings to support their friends, but if you take him there it will probably help comfort him.

Answer 14

Can't speak for AA, but the support group I belong to allows members to bring a friend for support, just discourages them from actually participating.  Most support groups acknowledge how hard that first meeting can be and allow you to bring a friend if that's what it takes to get you in the door.  Good luck and God bless.

Answer 15

You should go and support your friend. It would be very sweet awwwwwww!!!

Answer 16

I've done the same thing- going with a friend for support to an AA meeting. If he wants you to go, you shouldn't hesitate. You probably won't be the only one there who is ony there to support a friend. If I remember correctly (but I might be wrong), you can kind of sit "out of the group" to indicate you're there for only that reason.

When you arrive, I'm sure you'll be able to single out the moderator (counselor, etc), and you can just ask that person what the proper procedure is, and if it is appropriate for you to be there.

You'll find that the people at these meetings are usually very supportive and understanding.

Good luck!

Answer 17

I don't think they will allow you to be there, whether you want to or not.  I agree with what you've said.  He's got to go on his own.  AA is a SUPPORT GROUP.   There will be plenty of people there to support him.

Answer 18

By all means support your friend, but make sure that the meeting you're going to is an open meeting.  Some AA meetings are just for people with addictions, while open meetings are okay for people who don't have addictions to go to.

Answer 19

Many people go as support. I went with a friend before. You would be surprised how many non drinkers go and support. You may even learn something out of it yourself. I did and I do not drink at all

Answer 20

If your friend really has a problem then you should go with him to his 1st meeting. I dont think you are intruding on others. The people at these meetings understand that sometimes we need a little push. You would be a great friend if you went with him.

Answer 21

I was not in AA that long only about 4 or 5 months, but I never saw anyone get offended when someone would bring a friend for support.

I however did offend many. I left AA got sober on my own without AA and the only time I went back was a few times with a female friend to support her like you will be supporting your friend. They were offended by me because that was my group and they could not stand it that I  was sober without AA.

BB

Edit:  Okay no one will ask you if you are an alcoholic, or they should not. Here is how it went down at  regular even closed meetings when it came the visitors turn to speak, they just merely said their name and just pointed at their friend and said I am with him. I was a member of a pretty rude hard core group[ but I never saw any problems. Like I said except when I went to support my friend.

If it is a speaker meeting then you wont even have to say anything just sit down ans listen to the speaker talk about how bad they were and how AA made them a good person.

Now if you make a habit of going with him every day for 90 days then expect some hassle but every now and then will not matter.

Edit: I just want to add that he will need your support during his attendances n AA. AA will eventually drag him down. AA teaches that we are powerless, that we are no good and can do no good and unless we convert to the god of AA there is no hop, so he really will need a try friend to stand behind him.. That is why I said that there would be no problems unless he did the 90 in 90 and you went to the 90 in 90. If you go every now and then unless you see their control and brain washing no one will say anything, but if you attend very many  with him then you will begain to see the brainwashing and see it is a dangerous religious cult that has nothing at all to do with drinking. of alcoholism.

Their salvation is living sober, their h**l is dieing drunk. But is is a religion.

Answer 22

no your not intruding on others, support your friend, he needs it, he needs reassurance to go to the meeting, support him.

Answer 23

You will be welcomed and friends need friends at time like this.

Answer 24

it will be so kind of you if you go with him... this aspect will help him to go on ...i think is very hard to talk  about his problem,  in front of people that he  doesn't know ... you will be like an antidote for his shame... you should go... ! good luck...

Answer 25

I do think that you should go to support him.  However, I am not sure if they allow it.  I would probably try to call the place and ask them.  If they say no, then that will be your way out of it. If they say yes, I do think you should go.  Be there for a friend. You would want him to be there for you!!

Answer 26

dont worry about anyone else, just be there for your friend that needs you!

Answer 27

I think he is asking a lot of you , it is his meeting and something he needs to deal with not you , tell him you can't that you have to wash your hair :))

Answer 28

its not intrusive. i went with my best friend because he didnt want to go by himself. people there actually looked at it as a positive thing. i think that if your best friend trusts you enough to come to you for support, then you should support him. AA meetings can be somewhat of an embarrassment to some people...and i think the best thing that you can do for him would be to go with him.