A friend needs help on adoption?

Question

ok a friend of mine is wanting to put her unborn child up for adoption. the bioligical father is not in the picture he is in jail and they havent spoken for months. the problem is the family of the father is tring to stop the girl from giving the baby up. can they do that? they dont know her and she doesnt know them well just what she has heard and from that she feels they are not responsable enough to take the child so thats out of the question. the question is can they stop her? the father ,she was told after he went to jail basicaly abandoned her and the unborn child.

Answer 1

If she wants to put the child up for adoption, and the father's family wants to take the baby, then what's the problem?  The child should have a right to be raised within his or her own family...whether it be with the mother's or father's side.

So what's the problem?  She hasn't met these people, so how can she judge them?  Perhaps she should arrange to meet them and actually make an informed decision on whether or not they'd be "fit" instead of just by going by what she's heard.

This is her child's life she's messing with, and her child has rights, too.  She'd best be remembering that.

Answer 2

Everyone has to remember before they give a thumbs down to my response that there are different rules for each state and I will give advice from the rules of the state that I live in (Florida). I myself got pregnant and the father was no good, when I chose to make the adoption my choice for the baby the man that I claimed as his father denied being so, which in turn resulted to father abandonment and all of his rights where revoked. But adoption agencies are very thorough in deciding what the rights are of the father. I agree with a lot of answers on this post that if the grandparents of the child would like to take custody then why not? right? But as the mother she obviously has decided to give this child a life that either her self or the father could not offer and if she turns the baby over to the grandparents maybe she believes that they also cannot offer the child a prosperous future as well. She really needs to sit and talk with the father to find out what HE wants to do, the grandparents cannot under any circumstances decide for him and if he says no, i do not want custody of this child now or ever then she give the child to any adoptive family of her choice.

Answer 3

from my understanding (which I've done lots of research) as long as they are not married, the woman has the choice... and if she is ready for a fight, then she can put the baby up for adoption.  From what I've experinced from my own adoption, keeping a child in the family, being adopted by someone in the family is the WORST for a child, and gives them even less selfworth!  But, depending on the state, the bio father's family has NO say in any part of the adoption, or choice she makes with the baby since they aren't married!  She can also pay for the father's rights to be termenated...

Answer 4

Even in Jail the father still has his rights. And his parents can fight  for him. There was a lawsuit over this I read. If the father is in jail for under 2 years then he could fight for his rights.. She better beable to prove abandonment. If she decides to put unknown father and he finds out that is fraud and she could get into alot of trouble. I would talk to the father and explain that she feels this is best and get his out put on this. He might just agree. It's better if you do a adoption with no lies not just for her but for the child and the couple who want to adopt.

Answer 5

she needs father siginage

Answer 6

They don't have to make the choice of putting the baby up for adoption. That is a hard one to do. Tell your friend that they don't have the power of doing that.

Answer 7

The bio father has to relinquish his parental rights voluntarily or have the court terminate his parental rights unvoluntarily prior to her putting the baby up for adoption.  And even if he is willing to do so, blood family always gets considered as the option for placement first.  If they are found to be unfit, then the child can go to a non-relative adoptive parent.

I caution you that it takes a lot to prove people unfit to raise a child.  Just because one of their children ended up in jail doesn't mean they were poor parents.  They must love their son very much to want to keep his child in the family rather than adopt the child out to strangers.  This happens a lot.  Sometimes with wonderful results and sometimes with tragic results.  But the bio father has rights over the child once born.

The only thing he cannot stop is an abortion and it sounds like it may be too late for that option.  If she chooses to keep the child, he of course, can sue for visitation.

I wish her and her baby all the luck in the world.

Answer 8

Well I was 14 when I got pregnant with my first son. I gave him up for adoption at birth. At this time in my life and with my ex whom is my son's father I do not regret it one bit. The father of my son was in jail as well...

In Canada if a father contests and says he does not want the baby to go up for adoption it goes to court before the baby is born. NO FAMILY IS ALLOWED TO STEP IN. What the courts basically did, was seen how young we were and seen that the father was in jail and had problems, and seen that I wanted to give my son a better life.

Tell your friend that if she is wanting to give her child up for adoption to talk to a local agency and find out her rights. Things might of changed over the last 8 years but I do know the father does have to sign a paper but that can be fought by the agency of the adoption and put into court. I would tell her not to worry. She will beat it!!!!!!

If at anytime you have any questions about the process or the after process please feel free to send me a message through here and I can give you my email address...

Tell your friend good luck, and that things will get better.. I swear..

Answer 9

Love these questions.  What to do with baby?  Let's give baby to strangers.  There's a solution.

The FAMILY wants to raise the baby.  So hopefully, they'll be allowed to.  Oh, what was that?  Boyfriend is a bad egg, you say?  Then why did just 9 mos. ago,  your friend think he was good enough to have s*x with?  Either he was okay then, or she made poor choices then--which one is it?

Maybe she's making a poor choice NOW.  I'm getting the revenge vibe.  The 'he's not gonna get this baby' vibe.  If she cared as much about this child as she does about herself, she'd be relieved that this child's family was stepping up to the plate.

ETA: The posters who want you to e-mail them for help are just sharks that smell blood in the water.  They want to get their grubby little hands on some fresh infants.  Disgusting!

Answer 10

Your friend is a very strong young women. I congratulate her for wanting to make the best choice for her baby. I think it is a special gift to be able to put the needs of the baby ahead of your own needs and do what is best for the baby.

Here is a link to some adoption information. It is all totally free for the birth mom AND dad.  I know they can answer any questions your friend may have.

http://www.providentliving.org/ses/birth...

You can Call Toll Free at

1–800–537–2229

Answer 11

As the natural mother she has the rigth to decide what she wants to do... The Natural father would be the only other.... have her get Legal Aide advice!!!

Answer 12

I believe (and excuse me if I'm wrong) that the other family cannot stop her from her right to put the child into the custody of an adoption agency - they are not legally bound and the action of fighting for custody would probably result in it being ignored. If they took the baby and by some miracle he got out of jail that would put the child in danger and courts typically don't want that for the emotional and physical welfare of the child. Also, with her being the mother, with the father in jail she is probably the only one who can decide where the child goes.