A grown man turning me off?

Question

So I used to like this man a lot and I have been waiting for a year for him to come and talk to me. Almost a year and he finally talks to me except I'm losing feelings for him because he took so freaking long. Not only that, but he kept playing games with me like he wants me and then not.

When we're in the same room and there's another person there, he stays there until the other person leaves but somehow doesn't like to be in the same room alone with me. I'm confused and fed up even though I know he probably just really likes me. It used to flatter me that he was so nervous around me, but now it's turning me off because I've gotten tired of it. Why would a man in his 40's still be doing this? Do I have a right to lose feelings for him and feel this way now? It's hard to believe because 2 months ago, I thought I had fallen in love with him.

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with not liking him.  If you don't like him, stop seeing him and dwelling on how you "thought" you liked him.  Move on.

Answer 2

What are you, like 12 years old?  He pulls away from getting involved with you because it means jail time for statutory rape.  

Answer 3

Honey, if he is forty years old and still playing games . . . you don't need him anyway.

Dump him.  Look for someone with some maturity, someone who doesn't play games.  Life is too short for that kind of garbage.  Dump him and move on.

Answer 4

you have the right to do whatever you want. I can understand how frustrated you must be with the cat and mouse game. AT 40 you should know how to maturely approach another adult about your feelings. How about you approach him! If that isn't an option then let it all go. Someone has got to make the first move.  

Answer 5

he sounds like a weirdo. and i would have lost feelings for this chump a  way long time ago!! move on and find a "real" man to treat you like a woman.

Answer 6

well you never mentioned how old you are. and he doesnt have to like you. and if lol he liked you im sure he would of made his move with in the last year. let him go and you move on. i think that is what he wants he just doesnt want to be mean.

Answer 7

He doesn't really like you, he likes it that you like him. He's playing head games...Don't even look his way anymore, and pretend you're so happy you can't stand it.  

Answer 8

find someone worthy of you, lets face it he may b nice, sometimes a jerk but u need a man who can make decisions for you and take the lead, ok not always but like your protector if u plan on having a family. anyway i know thats not very objective but good luck and i hope u find your dream guy x

Answer 9

You probably feel like you've been playing high school games.  He's one of those types that doesn't have the balls to ask for what he wants.  He thinks he wants you, well then he's not really sure, so he takes some time to think it over, then yes he does, well now he don't.  He's waiting around for you to say something to him, and until you do that I'm sorry he will probably continue standing around like an old fool.  He may already be in another relationship.  Maybe getting with you will change his life and he's not really able to handle it right now.  Other times he feels he can.  Other reasons: pursuing a person is quite a rush, but when the pursuit is over, well game over.  So he stretching it out.  The whole experience probably makes him feel better about himself as well, as it's possible he has low self esteem and you boost it.  And there are people that go through life wanting others to want them, and when they have achieved that goal, they feel better as a person (and they had no real interest in having a relationship with you to begin with).  Is he a shy person?  If so, it's possible he just can't bring himself to say anything to you.  If you really are tired of all this and you really want to know what he's about, the next time you see him (while your friends are around) take him to the side and just ask him if he's interested in you (and no I don't know how you should word it).  If he blows you off then, you should never pay attention to him anymore and just forget he ever existed.  

Answer 10

I can't believe you've had the patience you've had.  I would have lost interest a long time ago.  He doesn't want to be alone with you yet he doesn't want to be with you in public?  Honestly, you can do better.  Don't subject yourself to this.  

The bigger question is, why do you feel as though you don't have a right to move on?  

Answer 11

He thinks of you as nothing more than a lamp shade.