A heartfelt tribute or pathetic ineptitude?

Question

An opening blossom now crushed,

Death, still a stranger, comes knocking.

A life too short, an end too rushed,

A soul that was singing now hushed.

A siren I never heard sing,

An opening blossom now crushed.

Stark and blackened memories bring

Regrets to tarnish, barbs to sting.

But Lilith taught me how to weep,

Sterling remembrance close to keep.

An opening blossom now crushed,

But laughter often comes with grief.

fond remembrance forges a bond,

And glad, I look to the Beyond.

A tear and a smile for that life,

That opening blosssom now blooms.

Answer 1

A tribute that is meant well is never pathetic, it can only seem this way to others and who cares about them?

But in my opinion it is a little rough around the edges.

Answer 2

pathetic ineptitude