A horrible public speaker... tips?

Question

I am horribly unsocial. Often it's because I'm scared of being judged if I mention a topic and I'm always worried that I won't be able to get a conversation started... so I don't even bother trying.

But one of the worse things is that every time I speak in an uncomfortable situation (whether meeting someone new without any friends around, or speaking in front of the class), my face turns red immediately and my friends will always goof around about it and say it but that just makes me feel even worse... and redder.

Is there any way to get over that?

Answer 1

If you want to be a good conversationalist and public speaker you should learn the skills involved and try to overcome your fears by skill-building and exposure.

Speakers clubs like Toastmasters offer a safe situation. As a new member you will be asked  to speak for a few seconds in the beginning. Lots of newcomers are nervous in the beginning.

Gradually they will choose to do longer speeches: 1-2 minutes, 4-5 minutes, 5-7 minutes.

Constructive feedback by your peers is part of the learning process.

I am a member of a local club in my city and I learned a lot.

In the beginning I was scared, but now I am happy about the ease and confidence I feel in front of a group.

(My club is English speaking and  my English is not flawless...but the native speakers are forgiving and helpful. )

There are some 10.000 local clubs worldwide and there probably is one near the place, where you live, if not: you can start one.

Answer 2

There are two main things you need to have to be a good public speaker:

1. Confidence. Don't imagine people saying bad things about you. When you're up there, imagine that you are the best public speaker that has ever lived and that ever will live. Imagine that you are just speaking to an empty room if that makes you feel better, and think positively.

2. Know your subject. When you know what you're talking about, you don't need to know what your going to say. Be passionate about what you're talking about, and have confidence in what you are trying to convey. If people don't want to listen, they're just ignorant, and they shouldn't cost you a thought.

Good luck.