A job poem...would you like to comment?

Question

left the house at 9 A.M.

grabbed martini bag, again.

my first stop,

I stirred and shook..

they wouldn't even look!

should've added olives.

second stop,

I tried again,

shook some more...

no, they said...there's the door.

Third try of the day,

I tried a new way...

no mixing, no shaking...

wait...you're taking?

All day long, I tried and tried

the vodka's gone

my brain is fried

Answer 1

Coming along. Watch out for capital letters--be consistent in their use, unless you need to stress something. Your brain may be fried, but your poem is not.

Answer 2

I must be imbibing but I need a clue on this.  Do you sell liquor?

Answer 3

A termite walks into a bar and says "where's the bartender?"

You should have tried that joke at the interviews.

You need to mix more than martinis to be a bartender. If you wannabe a poet you have to know how to mix and unmix metaphors too. If you wanna be an exotic dancer in work - keep off the vodka.

Deep fried crumbed lamb brains were a hit with my family when I was young.  (sorry having a Hannibal Lecter moment there briefly, pour the Chianti! mm chicken!)

I like your poem it's like a riddle.

Answer 4

Reminds me of one I wrote the day after frying my brain

Woke up late this mornin'

Had to S**t and get.

On my way into work

I blew a freakin' tire

My ****' been draggin' all day,

But now I'm freakin' wired.

Answer 5

Jonni, I'll be honest w/ U, Its far from Ur previous ones.. This is off the tip of Ur tongue, as if U were describing a homeless drunks, in a careless mood. I mean it wasn't Ur heart talking.

I don't know much about liquor, but bags is usually a description of beer packaging, and Vodka usually mentioned in midwinter, I guess. And U made me wonder what was "gone" the martini or the Vodka? I looked 4 U in the above ( stanzas) but U were not there!!  :-)

Answer 6

Your brain IS fried

Answer 7

I Like yr inventive poem....

The following is just something off the top of my head

Try it shaken and not stirred ! (007)...

Watch out your words might get slurred

Get out ov them wet clothes and into a dry martini

Make that drink disappear like Houdini

Have a tequila and go one, two, three, floor !!

Wake up then have some more..  :-D

Answer 8

Not too fried on this one!