A journal entry from a few nights ago but when i read it over it kinda sounded like a poem so...?

Question

it's time to give up on dreams and give in to reality.

I'm not ready for this. memories taunt me. what shoulda been woulda been if only i hadn't...wasted. wasted. I'm so wasteful. how will i ever save the world...or my own life. empty my pockets for the worth of a moment's pleasure that leaves me broke..broken. i make no sense because i am senseless. i fold. hidden beneath layers that aren't my own. suffocated. faded. twisted and elated. i only write when i twist my brain with crystals or liquid. twisted.. every other word that comes out of my twisted mouth. none of it. is. relevant. irrelevant. the truth you seek within the layers of the folds in which i lie. i lie to myself to get by. to make it ok to survive another day. I'd be better off without me. we'd be better off if you could see right thru me. if only you never knew me...then i could continue pretending it would be ok to disappear into the background like i didn't exist. take me out of your world so i can take pity on my own

Answer 1

i love it and know exactly how you feel sometimes it never goes away and to sustain isn't enough if i lie to me maybe i will disappear reality or my sweet daydream its such a tough decision 4 me

Answer 2

that's really good.. :)

it does sorta sound like a poem...

sorta sad tho...

it's good to get emotion out on paper tho..

but h**l you get it out on paper like a pro :P

Answer 3

i love it oyu r really good

=]

Answer 4

You're right!  This is very good stuff to pull out a poem from.  Cut out all the excess and voile'.

What I'm getting is:

Empty pockets, broken dreams

folded in layers not my own;

lying to myself to get by,

to survive another day.

Senseless, suffocating

faded, twisted, elation.

All crystal liquid words;

all irrelevant pretense.

Take me out of your world.

Maybe then,

I can take pity

on my own.

Answer 5

i love it.

u should try posting it on poertycritical.net

see what kind of ratings you get

Answer 6

Yes ... very deep indeed.

BUT your life IS worth something.

To make yourself feel better, try volunteering at an animal shelter sometime... all those helpless little creatures will make you feel so lucky and and afterwards, you will feel so GOOD knowing you made a difference in their lives. :)))))))

:)))))

*hugs*

Answer 7

Very deep thoughts about your life.

Answer 8

That was so touching and real, so deep and mesmerizing.  I could picture everything that you were saying in my head.  You are such a wonderful person, and so deep and so dark at the same time:]  That is a good thing though, you are truly gifted, you remind me of me at times.

Answer 9

See, now I just want to hug you.

I've written journal entries like this before. I would say they were therapeutic to me.

This entry of yours is very literary, which makes you a good writer steph! You've got the good genes from your parents, haha. And regarding the content, don't be hard on yourself. :)

*hugs*

Answer 10

very very haunting!

whatever you do, whereever you go, don't give up on who you are and what you want!

xx's

Answer 11

I find it very sad

The reality that out of the grips of being recreated by a noxious drug can come words of pain and anguish and the echo of the emptiness of what life has become with no hope..

Can you write something that will give you hope to live again in the real world and inspire you to leave the drugs behind or have they removed that part of you that has the ability to walk away from them?

Can you at least try?

It is very good and you have convinced me of the emotions being felt,  so if you are not on drugs please do NOT take offense ... Take it as approval of your writing skills.

Answer 12

That was amazing.

You have some real talent right there.

Good Job!

Answer 13

Yes, I like it quite a bit. Some prose can be quite "poetic" even if it really can't be considered a poem. I've saved some writings of my own which were like this (I've also had people who thought that I was doing serious drugs when I wrote them, even though most were written while I was completely sober). Keep writing, but don't give in to the thoughts expressed here -there's still lots of time for you to have a positive effect on the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmcMGbhjw...

Answer 14

that was real good stuff hun. you write well. it was written beautifully and explained quite well

Answer 15

This is bloody fantastic! You have a rare talent. Oh my, this is just so evocative!

Answer 16

WOWIE! Bravo! I really like it and it is quite touching because I can relate in SO many ways.

You should really keep up the good work. ;)