A little help please.........?

Question

my wife had a very hard life... her father raped her many times and was very violent with her......we met shortly after she had gotten away from him.....I was disgusted to hear about the things she went through...we fell in love and got married however she is not comfortable with love making probably due to what what she went through....she isn't comfortable with me seeing her naked...she is ashamed of her body because she was taught to believe she is nothing....she refuses to believe me when I tell her she's beautiful in every single way...she doesn't even like making love with her clothes on .....she knows that I would never hurt her......she just gets really afraid when we come close to making love sometimes she'll push me away or begin to cry or shake and sometimes it's like she can barely breathe even having me kiss or caress her body gently can make her uncomfortable .......how can I make her feel safe and comfortable with me so that I can express my love for her??? I just want to love her like she deserves to be loved.

some people mentioned counseling

what exactly would a counselor do if we saw one???

Answer 1

Genuinely open your heart and pray.

Answer 2

You wife needs Psychological help in order to get her life

back. Hopefully her dad has been arrested and is in

jail. She will need professional help and even then she might not feel comfortable. What she need from you is

patience and plenty of understanding. If you both go to

counseling you will find out how you can help your wife.

Be strong for her until she gets back on her feet emotionally.

Good luck to you both.

Answer 3

Dude,

   She needs professional help.  Good luck.

Answer 4

reassurance is what she needs. a counselor would help with expert advice.

also, try to be tender and slow, don't rush it. tell her beautiful words. you are doing fine, she just needs to get completely over it. take her somewhere safe or far away from that man? she needs to regain trust. remind her more often how much you love her.